I guess I got visited yesterday - no idea by whom, but it seemed pretty clear to me. I sat at my laptop with some work to do when suddenly a string of my little guitar which lies on a cupboard made a sound. It was only once, but very clearly and loud. I looked up and saw an insect with long legs like a moth fly away from the instrument. It was surely not heavy or strong enough to cause the string to sound that loudly. Nothing else was up there that could have been able to make that sound.
Wonder who or what that was ?
I notice that since two or three years I get deeper and deeper into all this, my really strong connection to nature (and I guess its spirits), my intuition, my overall interest in such things (I mentioned it before in other ^postings: if at all, I might call myself a green witch whose strength is herbalism (and my new interest, shamanism with all the necessary plants they use). I often wonder if it was meant for me to follow that path, esepcially as I get older and life has had its toll on me quite a bit. Do you know the feeling when you feel alone amongst people? I do have some friends and lots of acquaintances, I like being around them, but I even enjoy being for myself much more. I don#t feel alone, rather the contrary: more time to delve into my books
! And maybe it IS because sometimes I Do feel alone. Even though I'm married, I had no sex since 8 years. I don#t want to tell the story, but I love my husband as my kid's father (and he is the best father, honestly), and as a very imprtant part of our family and we both would rather shoot ourselves in the foot than go separate ways, becuase there is no reason. But I'm not in love anymore, and I miss having somebody to love, who loves me, or smply know somebody wants me (I suppose he feels the same). maybe we will take the next stpe when the kids are grown up which isn#t very long, who knows. What I wanted to say by this is: there are aspects of my life I don't like, I have problems like everybody else have, and let's be honest: life sucks sometimes. The only thing that lifts me up immediately, is when I'm ouside, in the forest, in my garden, when I read my books, when I think about all things herbalism, gardening, green witchery etc. You know what I mean? I don't think I will meet somebody new one day, I don#t think I will lead the perfect life, someday, I only want my kids to be happy and healthy, and if there is some time left for me to do what I love to do, then that is great - I expect nothing more, and in fact this is big anyway. It fils almost my entire thinking (well, besides family stuff, my job *lol*, darn things like bills etc., you get it) and it makes me happy. But I wonder. have I chosen this path in order to fill the hole tat is there evidently, or did this path chose me? I have been interested in plants and herbs since I was a little kid. My parents, especially my dad taught me a lot, and my mom told me her grandmother always was out in the woods gathering herbs and plants, she looked like a gypsy. I like that thought of having inherited all this from some old gypsy woman a lot
! What do you think? And I still wonder who visited me yesterday...