Moon Raver's Book Of Shadows.

[valerian moon]

I have a physical book of shadows, but I also wanted to share it with y'all.

[valerian moon]

Borderline Personality Disorder -- TEMPORARY HEALING CHARM
I used this spell to temporarily banish my mental illness, but you can use it for any relationship problem caused by communication issues. It does wear off after a few days, so you'll need to recast it as long as you need it.
YOU WILL NEED:
Bowl of water
candles (pink, blue, white, gold, orange, yellow)
athame
rune stones
rose water (or other cleansing liquid, such as salt water. just NOT OILS!!!)
bracelet, to put a charm on
small ceramic bowl, preferably one that reminds you of childhood, or a time when everything was simpler. mine is a little ceramic bowl I made in art class in third grade.
-------------------------------------------
Place candles wherever you'd like. pink for relationships, blue for communication, orange for mental clarity, yellow for focus)
cleanse and charge all your tools first.
cast your circle.
place bracelet in the ceramic bowl.
tap each object with your athame and state your intent.
example: "a blue candle for communication, a bracelet to give the wearer better relationship skills."
light the candles.
place the rune stones that you feel you need in the bowl of water, along with the bracelet.
tap the edge of the candles and call on the deities for guidance and protection in your recovery/resolution of problems.
let the candles burn themselves out.

[valerian moon]

This book may at times read like a diary, but with spells. All the things that are concerned with my learning of Wicca will go in my blog.
the people mentioned in this BOS will be:
Vo: the Portuguese word for grandmother. Or maybe its Portuguese slang. My vo is a psychologist with experience working with teenagers. She knows about my Wiccan practices and my same-sex relationship, and she is fine with both. She doesn't ask about either though because she's the type of person to keep to herself, except when there's cleaning or cooking to be done. She was raised catholic, but is not a typical catholic grandmother because of her recent experiences working with teenagers and young adults.
Mom: my mother. She has been raising my brother and I without a husband for 16 years and is doing a fair job despite her shortcomings. She has bipolar disorder, mostly depressive, and an iron deficiency, both of which make her fatigued all day every day. She still does all the cleaning and wakes up at 4am every morning to go to work to support our family of six, plus four dogs.
Jake: my brother. He has ADHD, or at least that's his official diagnosis. I still think its something more serious. He is addicted to video games, guns, cars, and girls, I guess that's a bit mature for an 8 year old. He constantly makes male anatomy jokes, and me, being the immature child I am, laugh along with him.
Pop/Poppa: my grandfather. He doesn't know about my Wiccan practices. He doesn't know I'm queer. I don't think he even knows what day it is. He is a Republican extremist and everyone else is a communist in his eyes. He likes videos games like call of duty zombies, and he likes tea. Oh also, he's one of my best friends sometimes. He taught me how to read when I was 3 years old. He's part of the reason I tested completely out of high school reading and spelling when I was barely 16.
we watch movies and star trek together. But he is very sick. We think he has early onset dementia and early onset alzheimers.
Jill: my aunt. My mom's sister. She's pretty much the female equivalent of eminem. G h e t t o. She works at 7-11 and talks crap. I try to avoid her.
Little Vo: my great-grandmother. The most accepting woman on earth. I told her I didn't like fox news, which she watches, and she told me that was okay because its my preference and it doesn't hurt her. Pop would flip if I said that. Little Vo takes care of me when I'm very sick, even though I have to teach her some things about asthma and type 1 diabetes.
Pop said he once saw her catch a fly with her bare hands, and thus her nickname of "Yoda" was born.

I may mention a friend or two occasionally, but those are the basics!!

[valerian moon]

JOB FINDING SPELL

you will need:
green candle
knife (my tradition calls for not carving with my athame so I used a pocket knife)
paper and pen
coin or paper money (I used a coin because I don't have paper money, i'm so poor)
incense
water
representation of earth (salt, stone, etc.)
another, smaller candle as a representation of fire

on the candle carve the runes for wealth, luck, and prosperity, whatever those may be in your tradition.
on the paper write what you wish for, I wrote "I wish to get the babysitting jobs I applied for"
fold the paper and put it under the candle with the money, then light the candle. you can do this in a candle holder if you need to (I did)
as you light the candle, think about having money, and getting the job you want. think about having fun at that job (like, if it's a job that would be something you like to do. like, I like babysitting, so I thought about having fun keeping kids busy with coloring books)
pass incense over the candle and say
"BY THE POWERS OF AIR"
do the same for all the other elements, going clockwise in terms of the cardinal directions.
then say
"I RELEASE THIS SPELL
I ASK THE GODDESS AND GOD AS I SEEK HELP
ON THIS DAY
WITH IT HARM NONE, THIS SPELL IS DONE."

extinguish the candle and meditate/think about the job you want for however long you want. imagine the smoke from the candle sending your wish.

this really works, although in a different way than I thought it would. I thought it would give me the jobs I wanted, but instead when I was laying down for bed I got the idea to sell homemade bath products at the local flea market.

[valerian moon]

i haven't posted in a while, but i found a spell, more of a meditation, for a "spiritual illness"
this can include depression, anxiety, loss of faith, anything like that. it's not a cure, but more of a solution, if that makes sense.

reposted from luna's grimoire
If it is you that is suffering from this illness, cast a circle and then visualize white light streaming from above into you. You should be able to feel this light like a warm wave of love. It is the love of The Goddess and of the spirits of your ancestors and guardians that you carry with you always. Concentrate on realizing that you are a Star of God sent into this world for spiritual experience and that the difficulties you are experiencing are only temporary and are a necessary part of your journey to spiritual enlightenment.
Incantation:

Great Goddess and all you spirits of love that surround me, bring me blessings. Be with me now and forever.

If this healing is for someone else, you will of course have to persuade them to be involved in this-if the person is a big cynic, this can be a difficult task, so perhaps one of the other healing spells would be a better choice. But if the person is into it, cast a circle, then, as before, visualize white light streaming from above, into your head, and through your body. Then lay your hands (which will probably have a slight to moderate tingling feeling) on the person and send the energy flowing into them.
Incantation:

You are filled with the white light of The God/dess. You are a Star of God. You are surrounded by loving spirits. Great God/dess and all you spirits of love that surround (person’s name), bring him/her blessings. Be with him/her, now and forever.

[valerian moon]

I had a big falling out with my family yesterday. First, it was Jill, still angry at me for elbowing her last week. I didn't do it hard, and the only reason I did at all was because she was making me feel cornered and I was suddenly very uncomfortable. She said I have to own up to it, and that I can't use panic as an excuse because that's what she said when she attacked somebody twelve years ago. Two very different situations. I'm telling the truth, she was using it as an excuse to be violent.
Then Pop started in on me. He turned a conversation about turmeric into something awful, unrecognizable, and upsetting. I had to beg him to stop. He says he's just trying to tell me about the world, but i've been hospitalized over 10 times. I know more about the world than he does. And the fact that i have to beg him to stop is just terrible. I want him back, but I feel like he's dead. That fun poppa is DEAD and in his place is this terrible replica, hell-bent on making me feel like I'm worth nothing, and my feelings don't mean anything.
Then when I tried to go to my mom for help, she blamed it on me. She said that I'm the problem, and that I'm the one who needs to just walk away. How can I walk away when I need to defend myself though? When I'm being made to feel like less than a person, and less than NOTHING?
Then I fell asleep at 7:30 PM and just woke up, at 6 AM.
anyway, that's just a little update.

[valerian moon]

I just moved into a new house and set my altar up to be all pretty, with all my candles on display (my mom lets me have candles because she knows I'm responsible w/ fire and also she likes them too so she figures it would be hypocritical not to)
I'll post pictures when I can, because my phone doesn't support uploading pictures, even to tinypic (thanks windows. Next time, I'll go with an iPhone)
Anyway, it has the same green cloth as before and is on the same table, but I think too many self-destructive things have happened in my old room at my old house for the altar to inspire me to continue with my faith. With this new house I have a renewed spirituality and I will keep all self harm and disordered eating out of that room so as not to disturd the altar. I didn't know that could happen but now that I do I will keep those two things separate.

[valerian moon]

this is an excerpt from another post that i found interesting

Why do some magickal traditions work better for some than it does for others? The answer is because magickal experiences are purely individualistic. There is no "correct way", only what feels right for you (but of course you should practice safety when, for example, working with fire or sharp objects.) Dedication rites are good and pantheons are fine but magick always starts from within. The desire for change, the will to make something happen. That's what magick is. You can't "cast a spell" to attract money into your life then sit on your couch and expect to get rich. Not in this world, not in reality. Doing is magick and magick is doing. Herbs, symbols, chants, tools: all things meant to enhance and focus will and desire. It's the union between practitioner and ritual tools that creates results. The truth is there is no "magickal energy", no mysterious force causing things to happen. It's you. You're more in control of your reality than anything else. What you do now directly and intimately affects what happens next. The law of cause and effect. You've probably heard that "everything happens for a reason". Physicists call that Newton's third law of quantum mechanics. Occult practitioners call it witchcraft and attribute it to the things that happen beyond our awareness. The Gods are creations of man, the occult equivalent of technology.

from this post

[valerian moon]

I had a big falling out with my family yesterday. First, it was Jill, still angry at me for elbowing her last week. I didn't do it hard, and the only reason I did at all was because she was making me feel cornered and I was suddenly very uncomfortable. She said I have to own up to it, and that I can't use panic as an excuse because that's what she said when she attacked somebody twelve years ago. Two very different situations. I'm telling the truth, she was using it as an excuse to be violent.

and just to clarify, for anybody curious, i was uncomfortable with her proximity because i was sexually assaulted by a female around the time that the elbowing happened.

[valerian moon]

taken from The Angelwood Grimoire (sorry angelwood, really, but this was good)

Prayer for Allergy Relief

I call upon earth to give me the strength to banish my allergies
I call upon air to speed my recovery
I call upon fire to bring success to this task
I call upon water to wash away unwanted energies
I am free from allergies (say this line 3x)
As I will,
So mote it be!

Even though this is a simple prayer, you can incorporate the following healing correspondences if you wish.

Colors: green, violet, brown, blue
Stones: amethyst, aventurine, bloodstone, carnelian, quartz crystal, hematite, jasper, tiger's eye
Plants: allspice, angelica, barley, bay, carnation, cedar, cinnamon, cucumber, elder, eucalyptus, fennel, gardenia, garlic, ginseng, ivy, lime, mint, myrrh, oak, olive, onion, pine, potato, rose, rosemary, rowan, sandalwood, thyme, tobacco, vervain, violet, willow
Incense: angelica, apple, carnation, ginseng, honeysuckle, myrrh, sandalwood
Oils: carnation, cinquefoil, eucalyptus, lavender, lotus, mimosa, rosemary, sandalwood, violet
Moon phase: full or waning
Deep within lie the echoes of shadows.

Totem animals: bear, buffalo, eagle, turtle
Planet: Saturn
Day: Saturday
Deities: Apollo, Airmid, Bran, Brigantia, Brighid, Dian Checht, Eir, Nodens

[Echo_of_shadows]

I don't mind when people borrow my stuff. I find it flattering.

[valerian moon]

i've found it at last! the elusive black candle!! i was at st pete pride (a parade w 20,000 people, you may applaud me now for not freaking out) and ducked into a new age shop for some cool air, where i immediately banged the door into a gay man wearing nothing but underwear. oops. there i found lots of interesting things, not limited to tarot, crystals, and essential oils. i also found a display rack of candles. with one black candle left.

so i bought it. but the elusive part is i couldn't find it anywhere else. except at the corner store for $6! (i paid $3 for it) not at walmart in the jesus candle section, not at yankee candle, nowhere!!!
i've found it though, and this is a big deal for me!

[valerian moon]

i purchased my very first set of tarot cards this weekend, and i have another set coming in the mail from a very generous tumblr user
my first readings went smoothly, and were pretty accurate. i would say i have a mild ability to read cards, i don't want to get overly confident and be punished by having wrong readings
i want to try palm reading next, my friend read my palm and she said i will have a happy marriage (at which point my gf's face popped into my mind) and that i have strong but broken family connections which is also true.
palm reading seems really cool, like something i could get into.

[valerian moon]

from one of the best BOS out there, the angelwood grimoire
i'm gonna tweak this a little to fit my particular path, but it will pretty much be the same.

Book of Shadows Blessing

In light and love
I bless this book.
May it create one more bridge through time
And share knowledge and wisdom throughout the ages.

By the powers of Earth,
Powers of stability, security and fertility,
I bless this book.

By the powers of Air,
Powers of freedom, perception and thought,
I bless this book.

By the powers of Fire,
Powers of love, healing and nature,
I bless this book.

By the powers of Water,
Powers of emotions, feelings and dreams,
I bless this book.

By the powers of the Goddess,
She who is Aradia, Kali, Persephone, Bastet,
I bless this book.

By the powers of the God,
He who is Apollo, Pan, Odin, Anubis,
I bless this book.

May the knowledge in these pages be positive and enriching,
May the magick be used for the greater good.
May righteous readers learn and grow,
May those who would misuse this knowledge turn away.

As I have willed,
It shall be done.
So mote it be!

[valerian moon]

quick little diary part because i have to vent.
my official diagnosis is mood disorder NOS and conduct disorder (childhood onset)
wtf.
i'm still pretty convinced i'm a borderline, but because i'm only 17 i can't be diagnosed (my 17th birthday is on the 30th) so basically my very rapidly changing moods, unstable sense of self, and violent outbursts are conduct frakking disorder.
here are the symptoms of conduct disorder:
- aggression to people or animals (animals??? i would f*cking never, the most i've done to my dogs is call them stupid when my blood sugar was high, as for people, i have broken a nose. once. not a habit though)
- destruction of property (i throw things, but never intentionally trying to break them. so that's a no)
- serious violations of rules (such as sneaking out, but what teenager doesn't? i usually follow my mom's rules. i try to watch my language around her and my brother, and i don't play inappropriate video games around my brother. i'm done sneaking out too. that's gonna be a no too)
my mom said not to worry about it because that's just what they can gather from my history, even though i told them i've been diagnosed as borderline, they just can't fit me into a category.