Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Discussion of raising your family in the pagan tradition.
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Ròcas Cearcall
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Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by Ròcas Cearcall »

I had planned on keeping the Wiccan stuff from my 9 year-old kid until he gets a bit older. He'd been noticing some things around the house (moon water, a box of altar supplies that I changed the subject on, etc.) We took him to a metaphysical shop where he saw some stuff and bought some stones he liked, but we didn't talk about my beliefs one way or another. Later at home, my wife came in from a nap when we were having a discussion about religions, in general. She mentioned something about my practice of witchcraft, thinking we were talking about me.

He's cool with it. He says he doesn't have a religion he likes and doesn't see why anyone has a problem with anyone's religion. But it was a tense moment for me there. I explained that most Witches want their practice kept secret. Hopefully, he understands. Otherwise, his mom (my-ex) or any of his grandparents will probably be less than thrilled.

Hopefully the openness doesn't create problems, but I am actually glad that I don't have to hide things from him.

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firebirdflys
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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by firebirdflys »

I would come right out and tell him...
What I do is my business and your mom and grandma just might not understand. Not asking you to lie, it's something that's private and you would like to keep it so for now. Saying its secret is good, though I fear it may imply you have something to hide.
There have been some nasty confrontations legal and otherwise, only you know how closed your ex and her mom may be.

Say,
He may even want to meditate with you :D
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nightshroud
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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by nightshroud »

Exactly what I was thinking.
The darkness is my friend for I am Nightshroud the darklord.

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moonraingirl
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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by moonraingirl »

Totally agree with FF.
9 year olds are much smarter than we may think, they seem to be more mature than we were at their age (I taught at elementary and was surprised by their thinking). Explain him how things are and don't try to make it a mystery. You may even tell him that there might be a confrontation but please avoid gossiping or saying negative things about mother's side of the family.
You may say something like: You know, religion is something very important to people and sometimes they can start arguing about it. When that happens, no one wins, but everyone gets upset and problems may arise. And we really don't want to create problems that are not necessary. No one wants to start an argument that can be avoided, right? That's why it will be the best if we don't mention my religion in front of mum and grandma, ok?

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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by Shawn Blackwolf »

Being me, I have never backed down from confrontation.
And , we are now an official religion, with all attendant rights supported by the ACLU, in America. It is illegal to discriminate in child custody cases and a judge can be prosecuted for doing so.

Me ?

If I had a young son now, I would get him this for an *extra* birthday or Christmas present.
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firebirdflys
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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by firebirdflys »

It may be legal Shawn, but that doesn't mean she might not try to stir up trouble. Custody trials have still used witchcraft as a means to undermine the stableness of a family, don't kid yourself.
And if legal difficultues related to witchcraft should come about Rocas, contact Lady Liberty League.
Cool shirt by the way...
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Ròcas Cearcall
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Re: Well, my wife just outed me to my kid.

Post by Ròcas Cearcall »

We live in a pretty open area. Part of the reason that it came up is that we took him to our local witchcraft store. My wife helped him pick out some stones that he had a connection with and let it slip that if he wanted to learn about Wicca, he could ask me questions, because I had been reading about it. The woman working there and I answered questions about wands, athames, and bolines that were on display. Of all places I could be, this is one where I could be pretty open.

His mom (probably) wouldn't be a problem. He told me that they stopped going to church because she didn't agree with what they were teaching, but she comes from a heavily Christian family in a rural area and they definitely wouldn't like it. My parents are also rural Christians, although looking back they gave me a lot of stones, charms, etc. that were for one thing or another. His mom can be unpredictable, so I like to avoid problems with her as much as possible.

The other issue is that I am a cop. I know there are pagan police groups in Europe, but here, police work is predominantly Christian, Catholic in particular. One guy calls me a pagan, because he thinks I am a Methodist. He just doesn't realize how right he is. :p

Honestly, I wanted my son to know, because it is a part of my life and I don't feel I should have to hide things in my own home. Now he's sad, because he won't be at my house for the fire at Litha. I told him that the reason we wanted to keep it a secret was that people can be afraid of people who they don't understand, and that a lot of bad, untrue things had been said about witches in the past. Then, I showed him out to do a reading with rune stones. After that, everything went back to normal.

He was probably prepped really well for the news. My wife meditates and he's meditated with her before. I made him a dreamcatcher that he has slept under for years. Grandpa gave him a buckeye for luck. He's also recently turned in to a big Harry Potter fan, so I had to explain why I am not a wizard. Overall, it went a lot better than I expected. But with all the witchcraft books in the house, he would have figured it out pretty quickly regardless.

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