smogie_michele wrote:I wish I had some helpful advice, but I'm afraid I am at a loss.
I know all to well how money problems have a funny way of making people lash out at the ones who are the dearest to them. If you ever need to vent, feel free to message me. I may not have any helpful words to offer, but I can always be an outlet.
Thank you. =D I understand this is an odd topic. lol And yes you are right, at the worst time people can target the wrong things and place blame. Admittedly I have tolerated a lot. while still trying to talk it out and keep up communication.
Becks wrote:Holy Hannah!!! Well, I just want to say you are in my thoughts. If it's cool I'd like to direct you some supportive energy that helps you hold to what is important to you, and your sense of self. Regardless of your belief....it's about you being centred in your path.
Then the next thing that springs to mind is that sadly, you can't control his path of his process. That is to say, his beliefs might differ....and you can't change what he thinks....all you can do is meet it with reason, and your own wisdom and strength. If he's going to forget who you are or drift....ultimately you have no control over that.
Now that you know this is where his mind is.....you can be prepared for this stuff and maybe discuss it w bit more when it comes up. I don't know what you're like....or what you need...but I would be addressing these comments as they come. I might ask him to, "tell me a bit more about what you're thinking?" At least you won't be surprised.
These are scary hard financial times and I'm so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you.
I don't know....I guess even more than the issue of difference of religion...I am concerned about the declining language of respect. How he is acting with you....People from different faiths fall in love all the time. It can be done. Maybe you can shift the focus from religion to the heart of the matter which is different, respect, and how fundamental differences are handled?
That's so tough!
We are very different people, but I love the difference (normally) it keep things interesting, if we always agreed on everything or liked the same things it could get boring. lol
We are both very communicative, always able to talk things out. When we have problems, or disagree; we always find ways to discuss it & try to understand one another.
I do try to talk to him about it, but while he turns around and brushes it off as 'he didn't mean it like that' or "I misunderstood" or "I can't take a joke"... I would normally believe this, but lately it is an increase of the problem, they seem to grow despite our constant communications. I feel a growing bitterness from him over how he views my beliefs. He acts like it doesn't matter and its an on going joke he is tired of, as he said "It is like you're a kid with a useless toy you need to grow out of and let go." Which, when I tried to talk to him about what he said, he told me I didn't get it and he didn't mean it that way. That I need to 'lighten up'.
I have never tried to force any idea onto him, nor have I ever downed on him about anything he believes ...but... I have noticed it was never an issue (He didn't act this way before) until he started returning to church.
I wonder if it is a conflict of energies. Not that either energy is negative; just not compatible.
Energy is a ever flowing thing, it will change, flow, give & take, breathe... however it wants & is meant too.
I do not want to give up on my family, I love my husband (even with the insults & issues) & I love my sweet yet stubborn son. I wouldn't give them up for anything.
We dated for a few years before getting married, though June will be our 10th year of being married.
I know I am very frustrated that after so many years of being open minded & supportive, he suddenly in this last year decides I believe in something useless & that my way of being hinders his beliefs. It is very hard to not do the same when I receive so much negativity about how I think & what I believe. It is a challenge for sure.
I want to be supportive of his beliefs, I want to support him and help him feel better through our problems, & I love and care about him; but how do I receive all the hate, process and get past it, without becoming just as bitter toward him for the very same reasons? How can he expect me to drop everything I am, everything I think & feel, all I have learn over the past several years; and not be upset or become just as bitter? Though I am desperately trying not too.
I know growing up, the christian way of thinking is to believe that anything not christian is of the devil.
I am not a satanist, I do not revolt against the christian way THAT much, lol! (I will however respect the people who are, but as much as I hold interest in the dark side as well as light & nature, I have no inclination to worship anyone, regardless of who or what. I also do not believe evil & dark are the same, nor are light & good. I think each is four different things.)
What I believe is that everything we are, is all connected, everyone is unique, the energies of our world while each our own do connect us. I also think that whatever is the greater power that we came from is much bigger than what most religious ideals can conjure. There are so many religions, so many ideas, and many of the ideas have similar basis and 'fact' through history that seem to connect... but no exact definable truths that fully stand out and is compelling to EVERY way of thinking & being. How can humans, with so many options, each expect & think that their own way is the only true way? Being raised in the christian way, I see so much of that way of thinking; 'unless it is christian it is wrong'. I can't bring myself to think that way, but I respect others that do, even if I don't agree with it.
Some days he will talk with me like nothing is wrong, and life is great, and he doesn't have any problems with anything or me. He will even get cuddly and be like he was before.
Most days he uses me as an outlet of his problems, like he wants to blame me & my "heathen" ways for all our misfortune. Making bad jokes toward my way of thinking, and saying hurtful things claiming that it is a 'joke'. Or even straight up telling me that what I think is useless.
Everyday is a tossup, will I get a good happy day, or will I deal with more insults & hate?
I do wonder, does anyone here have christian family that is aware? If so do they act the same, or do they support and care?