Raising Pagan Children

Discussion of raising your family in the pagan tradition.
JBRaven
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Raising Pagan Children

Post by JBRaven »

Who here has mini witches hungery to learn more about magic? Where do you draw your lines? How Do you celebrate sabbats with children? How do you deal with teachers and the questions that children ask when our child Start singing Goddess Chants instead of doing Math Time. How do you teach ans bring the Elements into childrens life? There are so any questions about Raising a Pagan child. I am here to support, trade stories, and find information for you. So start posting!

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

I am expecting my very first witchling in May so i can't say what i DO... but i do plan on teaching her the pagan ways and about the God and Goddess... i'm a bit worried about sending her to a school because i remember that christianity was so very much shoved down our throats when i was young... but i will be celebrating the sabbats with her, teaching her what they are for and traditions etc. Letting her help me prepare ritual and the feast etc. Teaching her to write her own spells. I have an old book here that i am keeping for her (which i have already blessed in ritual) that she can use as her very first book of shadows =)

JBRaven
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Post by JBRaven »

When is a good age to let your shild start diung ritual? You don't want to be the one who is shoving religion down her thoart.

NightRose
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Post by NightRose »

I think you'll find that your child wants to be involved in ritual, and when they ask, you should allow it (assuming, of course, the ritual is child-appropriate and the child is old enough to behave). I am friends with a couple who have a seven year old Paganling, and she is allowed to participate in some rituals. She is very excited to know about the God and Goddess and to learn more, and to prevent her from learning seems illogical. I suppose it depends on the child, though. If yours is a very Pagan household, it is pretty much inevitable that the child will want to join in and be a part of what you do. Don't require them to go or do anything they don't want to, but don't make it forbidden for them either.

JBRaven
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Post by JBRaven »

personally I do not believe that children should be apart of any ritual until the age of 13. Yes I teach my Lilly traditions, I show here the elements, I sing pagan songs to her. But any form of prayer (or rites when she is older at 5 she doesn't) is done without my knowlage. I belive this way for a few reasons:
a) She needs to be able to understand what she is doing.
Until she is much older she can not understand her true emotions (young children don't have the capacity to) so she will do magic on the fly without understanding the Karma of it. At such an age does a child truely know the differance between Good and Evil? right and wrong yes but Good and Evil?
B) she will not understand that there are times and places where it is unwise to educate other.
c) i refuse to force my belief system on her. At this age she is only doing it because I tell her to, not because of her love of the goddess or god. If I did would I be any better than tmy mother who put me in catholic school when I was a child? Or the nuns who rapped my knuckles if I didn't pray to the Virgin Mary?

JBRaven
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Post by JBRaven »

My husband and I were talking about this as I typed my last message and he reminded me ( in his great and wise way of doing so) that I come off as judgemental and self rightous. If you want to have your child more involed in paganism then by all means do so.. It is just not my way.

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

I love your insights. Very informative, however i disagree. I believe there is no age limit on wisdom. I think i will just know when the time is right for my daughter to participate etc... in fact i think it would be beneficial... my opinion only.

I dont believe i will ever be shoveling paganism down my childrens throats.. i just dont like the way most christians do it...

I'm looking forward to involving my daughter in paganism =) I can't wait

Stephanie Mae
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Post by Stephanie Mae »

JBRaven wrote:When is a good age to let your shild start diung ritual? You don't want to be the one who is shoving religion down her thoart.
My son is only three, so he has not actively asked to have his part in any of our rituals. I do remember asking to have a "job" when I was around six years old. This is the age I really became a shadow and was very interested in watching every little detail. My parents did not really set many limitations for me. I was encouraged to try something, if I did it correctly I could continue to do it. If not, then they would focus on what I was able to do and slowly teach me what I was not able to do.

Lately, I have been having my son help me with my gardening. He has his own section of fail safe herbs he takes care of, with my help. He will ask me to water his herbs, because he feels they are thirsty.

We are also in the process of making his book with family history, god and goddess information, herbal information and so on. We draw pictures in his book, cut out pictures and I do the writing.

He also participates in all the holidays, until bedtime that is.

As far as school goes, I have not ventured into that realm with my son yet. He will be going to Cate like I did, and they have a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of policy.

Radiance
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Post by Radiance »

JBRaven wrote:When is a good age to let your should start doing ritual? You don't want to be the one who is shoving religion down her throat.
I agree that when they start asking is a good time. I have a different point of view on religion being shoved down your throat though. I was raised in a very non-religious family and envied people who had some form of guidance growing up, the community and sense of spirituality that can come from it. That being said I do not plan on forcing my children to participate in any religious ceremony. If they ask then they can join in. If they wish to attend a church or any other place of worship I will take them. I want them to feel able to question and seek for themselves. If issues arise at school then I will deal with it, I'm not very concerned as our family is very "out of the closet" with our beliefs.

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

I think people are taking my "shoving down the throat" comment the wrong way lmao.

I agree that having spiritual or religious guidance is awesome, growing up with that would be great, but having it brainwashed into you, shoved down your gob, etc etc... that is very very different... i'm not really sure how else to explain how i meant hahaha. If this doesnt work, oh well =D

JBRaven
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Post by JBRaven »

I just see it that my daughter would be doing it to please me or because I ask her to. I just don't see that children can give any true form of consent. To me religion is the second biggest choice in someones life. I don't think anyone should make that choice for you..

Radiance
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Post by Radiance »

JBRaven wrote:I just see it that my daughter would be doing it to please me or because I ask her to. I just don't see that children can give any true form of consent. To me religion is the second biggest choice in someones life. I don't think anyone should make that choice for you..
It truly is a major decision but it is one that you can grow and change your mind about too, unlike paying for your schooling and then deciding to change your mind part way through, or having children, getting legally married etc.

Stephanie Mae
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Post by Stephanie Mae »

JBRaven wrote:I just see it that my daughter would be doing it to please me or because I ask her to. I just don't see that children can give any true form of consent. To me religion is the second biggest choice in someones life. I don't think anyone should make that choice for you..
From my personal experience, I never felt my families path was forced on me. I am sure that they would have griped had I decided to go Catholic, but they would have never left me abandoned spiritually. I actually made my own informed decision at eight years old to do a promise ceremony. I promised myself to my path and promised to complete my initiation in the future. I fully understood what I was doing at eight, in near the same manner as I do now. I have always been mentally older than my actual age though, so that might have something to do with my choices.

JBRaven
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Post by JBRaven »

I guess it is the way I was brought up. My mother had a vision from god that her children should grow up Catholic while she was an armchair Baptist. She forced my brother to be baptized and when she was gonna force me my brother and I ran away. We were gone for 6 months and I was never baptized. I just fear that I will guide my child to do something that she willl regrett later like my brother and the baptisim. but regardless, These are choice that you, your spouse and the child have to make.

Hubertus
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Post by Hubertus »

Well, I am not a parent, and I feel dwarfed by the great mass of knowledge and experience around me, but I do have an opinion of the subject. I believe you should raise your child to make their own decision. If they want to join in on religious practice, then let them. Also, allow them to attend a church service, just so that they experience a variety of religion. Then, as they get older(And able to comprehend things better), explain to them the different paths and why you picked yours. But also explain to them that whatever they want to believe is entirely up to them. Let them make their own choice, and if it is vastly different than yours, accept it anyways. I believe that a child will find their own path eventually, even if they are raised in something different. I was baptised at birth and attended catholic school most of my life, and yet here I am, a witch.

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