Spanking as Discipline?

Discussion of raising your family in the pagan tradition.
Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

I thankyou. :D

Xal
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Post by Xal »

If an adult does something you don't like and you give them a light smack it's called assault.

If a child does something you don't like and you give them a light or hard smack it's called discipline.

What a crazy world some of us have constructed for ourselves.
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" - Carl Sagan

Xal
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Post by Xal »

Greymalkin wrote:
It has been proven over and over again that children have no understanding of right or wrong until they are 7. They have no powers of reason until that age, but they do respond to pain, and they very quickly learn that doing a certain thing will result in pain if they do it again.
A good talking to won't teach them.
Proven by who? I don't have kids but my best friend and my girl friends sister both have children around the 1-2 age range. They know when they are doing something they are not suppose to. They will look directly at the parent before they do whatever it is to make sure they are not looking or will continue to do the action as soon as the parent turns away.

This is the myth that is propagated by our society in today's world. Kids understand so much more than we give them credit for.
A sharp spank (within reason, of course) is the only way you can let a very young child know they have done something wrong.

I would say the only time a sharp quick pain should be utilized is not for discipline, rather danger. The child goes to touch an electrical outlet, hot stove, etc.
If you send them to their room or take away their toys they simply won't understand why you did it - they will just see you as being unfair.
Why do you think that smacking the child will not be perceived the same way?
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" - Carl Sagan

NightRose
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Post by NightRose »

I split the topics for you guys, I hope you don't mind. This way, this debate can continue while hopefully Twisted_Pixie can get some advice on her actual question. Thank you for your understanding. :)

Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

Good idea Nightrose!
Xal wrote:Why do you think that smacking the child will not be perceived the same way?
They may not know why they got the smack but they will know it hurt and they won't want it to happen again.

Over a very short period of time they will learn what they mustn't do in order to avoid that pain.

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

Thank you Nightrose =)

Xal
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Post by Xal »

If a small child is acting up, there is a reason too it. At least a good reason in their mind.

I think it can be a problem if you psychologically connect the physical pain with whatever the emotion is rather than the action. (Which when you talk to a therapist seems to be the case most of the time)
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" - Carl Sagan

Joelle
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Post by Joelle »

Watch SuperNanny!!! :D
Love & Light
Jo

Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

Xal wrote:If a small child is acting up, there is a reason too it.
Yes of course, because they want something and they want it NOW! And because they are so young they don't understand why they can't have whatever it is.

So you have two choices. You can either give it to them, in which case they will learn: "All I need to do to get whatever I want is to make a noise and have a tantrum", or you can give them a small spank and they wil learn: " Ouch that hurt. I won't do that again".

Xal
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Post by Xal »

Greymalkin wrote:
Xal wrote:If a small child is acting up, there is a reason too it.
Yes of course, because they want something and they want it NOW! And because they are so young they don't understand why they can't have whatever it is.

So you have two choices. You can either give it to them, in which case they will learn: "All I need to do to get whatever I want is to make a noise and have a tantrum", or you can give them a small spank and they wil learn: " Ouch that hurt. I won't do that again".
That's a much too simplistic way of looking at things. A child may just want love and attention so they fuss. Then they are disciplined. What are you teaching them? That they should not seek love and attention?

When your a baby your brain is at its most powerful state in terms of learning. Small children are compelled to understand how physical reality works. Sometimes they may do this by turning over cups. Dropping things on the floor. Etc. They are not doing it to be disruptive. They are doing it to understand the physical dynamics of things. When a child is trying to understand something, and you take it away, they get upset. Their brain is working overtime trying to analyze the object. It's almost as if you spent an hour building a tower of blocks, then suddenly someone comes by and knocks it all down.

There is a difference between spoiling a child, and allowing them to understand and explore their reality.

Unfortunately the common persons knowledge of child psychology and dynamics is very limited. Combined that with a society that currently stresses overworking ourselves and doesn't place it's main emphasis on the education of the younger generation, and you get people who couldn't be bothered to understand their child. (At least in the USA)

Though I hear you have it somewhat better in some European countries.

Children should be raised by elders the of society. As most people who have children are still learning their own life lessons.
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" - Carl Sagan

Rifts
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Post by Rifts »

Twisted_Pixie wrote:Im all for spanking... i got smacked when i was naughty and i turned out fine... all the kids i see who's parents are too scared to smack them are all little sh$t heads... lol.

Anyway thanks again Grey! You helped alot
I may not be Christian but "Spare the rod, Spoil the child." Works.

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

From someone who was spanked without hesitation as a child, i am all for it, i have absolutely no psychological problems (well, not relating to spanking anyway hahaha just kidding).... i think the way my brother brought me and my two brothers up was awesome, we have respect for people, we have manners, we dont steal or hurt people etc etc... i have seen children of my mothers friends and of my own friends who dont get spanked and they are simply told "no sweety, thats wrong".... the kid just looks at them as if to say "what the f$#k is 'wrong'?" and keeps acting up...

I know that this debate will never end but i have seen how the kids are today and i feel its partly if not mostly to do with a lank of spanking...

My opinion =D

Pix

Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

The debate will end now for me because quite frankly it's getting a little boring now.

I don't have kids and never will. So what the hell do I know?

Twisted_Pixie
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Post by Twisted_Pixie »

Yes i agree its getting a little boring... i might join you in the leaving part =D

AfootFuzzball
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Post by AfootFuzzball »

Well, I'm in Early Childhood Education in school(Yes I'm one of the 2 guys in that class out of 33). We've learned that if your kids are making a scene out in public for attention, ignore them. They'll eventually stop and learn they're not going to get attention if they act like that. I personally believe you should spank your kids. Don't start at like 1-2 though because it'll lose its affect real fast(Moms friend did that, he's like 5 now and can take one hell of a beating without crying). When you hit around 10 spanking starts to lose its affects, so you have to start with the whole, no xbox, no tv, etc. But if you take them away for multiple months at a time, they no longer feel they need the object. I have had my tv taken away for multiple months, and adjusted and it was no longer a punishment to me, same with the cell phone.

Good luck :D
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.---------- Ralph Waldo Emerson

=====Carpe Diem=====

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