Xal wrote:If a small child is acting up, there is a reason too it.
Yes of course, because they want something and they want it NOW! And because they are so young they don't understand why they can't have whatever it is.
So you have two choices. You can either give it to them, in which case they will learn: "All I need to do to get whatever I want is to make a noise and have a tantrum", or you can give them a small spank and they wil learn: " Ouch that hurt. I won't do that again".
That's a much too simplistic way of looking at things. A child may just want love and attention so they fuss. Then they are disciplined. What are you teaching them? That they should not seek love and attention?
When your a baby your brain is at its most powerful state in terms of learning. Small children are compelled to understand how physical reality works. Sometimes they may do this by turning over cups. Dropping things on the floor. Etc. They are not doing it to be disruptive. They are doing it to understand the physical dynamics of things. When a child is trying to understand something, and you take it away, they get upset. Their brain is working overtime trying to analyze the object. It's almost as if you spent an hour building a tower of blocks, then suddenly someone comes by and knocks it all down.
There is a difference between spoiling a child, and allowing them to understand and explore their reality.
Unfortunately the common persons knowledge of child psychology and dynamics is very limited. Combined that with a society that currently stresses overworking ourselves and doesn't place it's main emphasis on the education of the younger generation, and you get people who couldn't be bothered to understand their child. (At least in the USA)
Though I hear you have it somewhat better in some European countries.
Children should be raised by elders the of society. As most people who have children are still learning their own life lessons.