Gone to better, bad, worse and now its over...
This dating ordeal has taken all my time and energy for quite some time now. It has been a relentless roller coaster ride of good and bad and I finally finished it. I just couldn't handle the problems any more. I tried to leave her already few times, but I didn't have the heart just tell her to pack her things and go home. Until today when she finally realized herself that this can't just go on.
I'm so fed up with dating, I'm done with it. At least with too difficult women. I ain't too easy to handle either, but there's limits to what I can take. It was just too much. I don't want to go to details here as that post would be a giant wall of text.
We finally had a decent talk and I made it clear that dating is suspended until she clears her mental issues, that I can not bear her problems on my shoulders any more. I'm not strong enough for that. To be brutally honest, I really wish that these were the last tears I'll shed for her. She would be fine friend though as she can be really sweet and nice when its a good day. But the bad ones were just too much in the end.
I'm relieved and sad at the same time. She even surprised me with pancakes this morning. Last night I did some spellwork to make this easier, I prayed, oh by the gods how I prayed to make this breakup be as painless as it can be. I wish nothing bad for her, she's a sweet person behind her issues after all.
I'm relieved. I just wrote my first journal entry in months.
I forgot to add that I'm so sorry that I haven't had the time or means to be around here for ages. Other than being at our cottage and fishing, all my life except for the dating thing has went down the drain. It was too much too soon. Well, its autumn now and I wont have anything except time for everything.
Soon its too cold even for the fish, good time for writing music, doing spells and writing my book.
By my feet the flowers of witchery abloom.