Life unrealized

Talk about anything you want to here.
Post Reply
User avatar
WiccanWitch
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:06 pm

Life unrealized

Post by WiccanWitch »

I have this lingering feeling of some major blockade in my life. Mental mostly but possibly emotional and spiritual as well. I feel like I'm missing something, something big. Something I'm supposed to be doing, something I was purposes for.

I don't mean it in a braggart sort of way but I feel like I was meant to do something big. Not personal fame and fortune but meaningful in a big way for other people. Who, what, when, where? I know none of these things. I'm a nurse. But I don't feel this is what I'm meant to do.

And I don't feel any sense of belonging. I don't know where I'm from because I don't feel like I'm from anywhere. I don't know where I belong.

Basically whatever I am meant to be doing with my life...
I'm not doing it yet.

And I feel so frustrated.
User avatar
SnowCat
Banned Member
Posts: 4744
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2012 6:29 am
Gender: Female
Location: The Spirals

Re: Life unrealized

Post by SnowCat »

It sounds like something from a past life is influencing your current phase of being. I usually ask for a message in my dreams when I have this type of quandary. I have never been much for meditation, so dreams work well for me. And while being a nurse is important and gratifying, when it's not insanity inducing, it doesn't mean that it's what you're meant to do. For me, being a nurse was the missing piece. For you, it could be that nursing is a way station on your journey, but something that you will move on from.

Snow
Daughter of Sekhmet
User avatar
WiccanWitch
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:06 pm

Re: Life unrealized

Post by WiccanWitch »

I love my patients and love the interaction but it doesn't feel like enough. I feel I'm meant to do something not piecemeal but more. As a teenager I kept having the feeling that my purpose in live was to basically be a martyr. Die so others may live. Odd, right? So I've lived with this feeling of unbelonging for ever and get more and more frustrated and depressed as I can't find where I'm meant to be. I don't necessarily feel that martyrdom is my calling but maybe. I sacrificed much to try to help improve the working environment of my coworker's. I was passionate about it and it lead to me being slowly beaten down over years until I couldn't stand how I was treated.

Sometimes I wish someone could just tell me. But I get part of the lesson is finding your own answer.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
User avatar
smogie_michele
Posts: 792
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2014 11:32 am
Gender: Female
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Life unrealized

Post by smogie_michele »

First and foremost, to both you and Snow- thank you. I know nursing is often a thankless job, even though you work crazy hours and do all the dirty work (and often with a full bladder), no one ever seems to thank their nurses enough for how they improve their quality of life. When I left the hospital, I had Cody get a $10 Starbucks gift card to give to the nurse that had to deal with my lunacy. She was the most patient, loving and funny person I have ever met, all while trying to calm me down to take my blood while wiping my tears. She told me that was the first time anyone had actually told her "thank you" an gave me a hug. (I found out later she didn't like coffee or tea, but insisted that she got all kinds of pastries and hot chocolate).

Second, in a way, I get what you are saying. I have no idea what my purpose in life is and I feel like I've been beaten down and dragged out over the last year or so and I don't know how to fix it. I would LOVE to have some little fairy person ascend to me and tell me, "To fix your situation you need to do this and your purpose in life is to do this and to be truly happy is to do this." But like you said, part of the lesson is discovering the answer.
It is super frustrating and I can empathize with you. Lots of hugs and love to you <3 I know its frustrating, but you got this :)
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.
Post Reply

Return to “Member's Rants and Ramblings”