Feminism

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Austadophilus

Feminism

Post by Austadophilus »

Okay, this is my first rant here, so bear with me if I don’t seem to be ranting about anything particular.

But I am feeling very let down nowadays by the mass opinion of the female gender that I see. From the internet to people at my college chatting around, I’m seeing all these generalizations about females, saying that we’re pretty much just gold-digging feminazis who want to make men feel terrible about themselves and who men have to pay hundreds of dollars for on a date just to get us in bed.

Most people would tell me that “Well, it’s kinda true” or “Whatever, why do you even care?” I don’t know! Because I want to feel proud of being a girl at some point in my life. I’m proud to be human too, but I’ve gone through a lot of bullying when I was younger for being fat or unattractive, so when I found Wicca and started studying that, I started appreciating myself more. Not just that, but my feminine side too. So, I started trying to see things through another’s eyes and to feel what they feel. But all over the place, I just keep hearing these nasty generalizations of us.

Between radical feminism on one end to girls dulling their creativity and intelligence just to get ahead on looks on the other, I've been feeling kinda down about defending women lately. I strongly believe in being treated with the same respect men get every day, but for every girl I see who tries to better herself, there's stupidity in the world that just snuffs it out.

Hell, there's even a huge petition to Boycott American women online because apparently marrying us means subjecting men to girls who "get fat, don't want children, take all of your money, and will leave you once they get what they want".

And this is how some people in this country see us. It's terrible.

Like I said, maybe I’m ranting on nothing. Maybe it’s totally invalid and I shouldn't care, but I just needed to get it out and talk about it. Thanks for listening.
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Xiao Rong
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hey Austa, I totally hear you! That's how I first got into feminism myself -- I was pretty forcefully reminded that there are people out there who genuinely hate women ... I've seen that boycott American women website, and much worse. I love that my spirituality gives me a beautiful, empowering vision of what women can be. It's not women who are at fault, but those who can't handle strong, independent women. I personally take a lot of comfort imagining how threatening those troglodytes find us witches, who have always gone against the flow and refused to submit to the patriarchy (and especially those of us who aren't thin and pretty!). We're their worst nightmare, and that's awesome!
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Kassandra »

.
Austadophilus wrote:Okay, this is my first rant here, so bear with me...Maybe it’s totally invalid and I shouldn't care, but I just needed to get it out and talk about it. Thanks for listening.
Get your rant on, girl!! lol

Good job.




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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by azriel »

It is always better to let it out than keep it to yourself!

It is sad to say but a lot of the self-worth that people assign themselves are formed by external stimuli, media-based is growing, on how a certain sex "should" be to be normal. It is frustrating to say the least, for both men and women. We are shown that we need to act a certain way to be normal, or else we will be considered a deviant and ostracized. Women are either the pure house-wife or, as you mentioned, a money hungry being, and men are not viewed in a positive light either.

We have to find things that make us feel good about ourselves and be proud of it, not ashamed. This is only a tiny baby step for moving forward but it is a step nonetheless.

Azriel
^-^~
Unfold your wings and take off into the sky
Before you're burned, become the sun
Blow, oh wind... It guides you into the sky
Before your whole self is taken away

Oasis~~~Gackt
Austadophilus

Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Austadophilus »

Xiao Rong wrote:Hey Austa, I totally hear you! That's how I first got into feminism myself -- I was pretty forcefully reminded that there are people out there who genuinely hate women ... I've seen that boycott American women website, and much worse. I love that my spirituality gives me a beautiful, empowering vision of what women can be. It's not women who are at fault, but those who can't handle strong, independent women. I personally take a lot of comfort imagining how threatening those troglodytes find us witches, who have always gone against the flow and refused to submit to the patriarchy (and especially those of us who aren't thin and pretty!). We're their worst nightmare, and that's awesome!
To be honest, I don't know if I'm a feminist or even a strong, independent woman. I seem to cry at a lot of things and make a big deal out of a lot of things, so... :oops:

Still, I was telling my brother that I disliked boys who wore those "Cool story, babe, now go make me a sandwich" shirts and I thought they were stupid and dickish. My brother only groaned and called me a "feminist". Oh, I'm sorry. Would he not find those shirts insulting if it were the other way around?!

There are people out there who hate women and it makes me angry. But what can I do about it? I'm not them. I can't change them and any time I speak out about something, people brush me off saying I should just worry about myself or that I'm some feminazi, obsessed with castrating men.

And that's not it at all. I respect men. I love my father, who is a big part of my life and I love my boyfriend even though he has different views of things. And with men, they have the same things. Like if a guy's into cooking or gardening instead of athletics, he's labeled to be "girly" or something.

Unfairness all around, but azriel is right. The only thing I can see myself doing is finding my way and being proud of it.

Yay.
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Xiao Rong »

Preach it, Azriel!
To be honest, I don't know if I'm a feminist or even a strong, independent woman. I seem to cry at a lot of things and make a big deal out of a lot of things, so... :oops:
Oh -- I was just saying that's how I got into feminism; definitely because being reminded that misogyny really does exist in the world sent me off into a rage. At any rate, I don't think a strong, independent woman is one who never cries or never makes a big deal out of a lot of things. Quite the contrary -- I think a strong woman is one who isn't afraid to to be vulnerable sometimes, and isn't afraid to make a big deal out of things that matter to her (as opposed to shutting up like a "good girl"). And, like Azriel said, I think a strong woman is just one who isn't afraid to be herself, flaws and all.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
Austadophilus

Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Austadophilus »

Xiao Rong wrote:Preach it, Azriel!
To be honest, I don't know if I'm a feminist or even a strong, independent woman. I seem to cry at a lot of things and make a big deal out of a lot of things, so... :oops:
Oh -- I was just saying that's how I got into feminism; definitely because being reminded that misogyny really does exist in the world sent me off into a rage. At any rate, I don't think a strong, independent woman is one who never cries or never makes a big deal out of a lot of things. Quite the contrary -- I think a strong woman is one who isn't afraid to to be vulnerable sometimes, and isn't afraid to make a big deal out of things that matter to her (as opposed to shutting up like a "good girl"). And, like Azriel said, I think a strong woman is just one who isn't afraid to be herself, flaws and all.
Thanks Xiao, you are quite wise and your words have made me feel considerably better about myself.

And thanks to azriel as well. :)
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by AdastraJunction »

Just remember this... The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world!

Which comes to my sort of feminist view on survival and I don't mean in the wilds I mean in society. You know why women such as the type I am are better at it? Men have their guns and their survival packs granted they have brute strength and an edge to them. Women on the other hand have cunning, methodical ways of surviving. A look here, a pleading prayer there and we are taken in under the wing of a poor sap who has no clue that he (or even a she) gave in to the simplest of devices at a women’s disposal… her grace, charm and ability to be vulnerable when called for. In a modern day this works well. It can as well in non conventional ways with a basic understanding of foraging, gardening and trapping if not an avid or basic knowledge of hunting prowess.

Oh but we are hunters, the worst of them all. Do men forget that in a pride of wild lions it is the lioness that fights and hunts for the whole pack? That is also said of many other wild creatures of the like.

Women create, some believe it to be our soul purpose but what it really boils down to is that women are clever, independent, assertive calculating creatures that can create a life and in the same second send your world crashing down with nothing but a glance.... the sad part is that most men will let you.

I'm not trying to be a man-hater here but you cannot say that it isn't at all true :)
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Shadowbutterfly7 »

I hear you austa. Women from the beginning to modern day have been unfairly seen, treated, or even scapegoated. Sometimes even women do it to their own gender! We face so much that i ask myself "Are people seeing what they're doing? Is it so hard to change?" But i know that in the end their arrogence poisons them. Everytime you dont act those labels, you be what you want even if its a "mans job", and be proud you are doing women everywhere a service by making a positive image for every bad one.
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Eliphas Blackthorn »

Do I dare? Yes historically males have tried to minimize and mute the strength of women. Even the bible would have had a female counterpart to the godhead had it not been removed and her images destroyed at the order of men so long ago...http://thequeenofheaven.wordpress.com/2 ... of-yahweh/

My stomach is turned by men that think women should not work but instead be at home cooking and cleaning. Living in the South though I can been told by some females here that this is what they prefer and I am not so appalled by this way of life when it is chosen and not done out of expectation or force of some kind.

In some magic circles(mostly non wiccan) women are also expected to take a backseat to men for some reason. Which is a huge mistake if a group wants to get something done magically. Women historically have been the seers and because of their ability to carry multiple babies within their bodies they are by design able to hold and move more power than men. They just make better magicians period.

This statement by Adastra though, is somewhat disturbing to me " Women on the other hand have cunning, methodical ways of surviving. A look here, a pleading prayer there and we are taken in under the wing of a poor sap who has no clue that he (or even a she) gave in to the simplest of devices at a women’s disposal… her grace, charm and ability to be vulnerable when called for. In a modern day this works well."

When reading that it's hard not to think of the word manipulative. That's not an attack just an honest observation based on how that was worded. It is kind of along the lines of what the OP said she keeps hearing about how females are...

Then there is this "Women create, some believe it to be our soul purpose but what it really boils down to is that women are clever, independent, assertive calculating creatures that can create a life and in the same second send your world crashing down with nothing but a glance.... the sad part is that most men will let you."

That saddens me to read that because it sounds like you are saying that most men are easy to manipulate because we are the dumber sex. Both sexes can be manipulated and can manipulate. If this were not true there would be no such thing as a pimp. Women get manipulated everyday by men and vice versa. I have had women send my world crashing down once or twice and maybe it was easy...if it was though, it was only because I loved them. Should I now carry that baggage and think shame on me for being so foolish as to love a women? Never.

I have a daughter now, she is 8 and no one needs to tell me about female divinity. It is a terrible shame that so many men are unwilling to notice it as well but that's where we are...humanity that is. Look around and it is easy to see that we are not a spiritually evolved species. We have find as many reasons to disagree as we can. Issues of gender are just one of them but there is race, religion, politics and so on. We are full of ourselves and ignorant as a whole.

The best we can do is try to be better as individuals, especially as ethical magicians. I try to be respectful to everyone regardless of race or gender or whatever until they wrong me and then I will treat them as poorly as the moment calls for, again regardless of their races or genders etc.

To the OP I would say be very proud of being a woman. Don't put too much stock into stereotypes that hateful people throw around about your gender. Especially here in the US, we have a tendency to be grossly ignorant here for some reason. Like when white people tell immigrants to go back where they came from...I mean give me a break. I would encourage you as a magician to read the works of Dion Fortune and Josephine McCarthy. Women are not less and you have every reason to love yourself.
Austadophilus

Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Austadophilus »

To Eliphas Blackthorn:

I certainly hope I haven’t said anything that would make you think that I believe men are easily manipulated or are the dumber sex. I live in the South as well and I know a ton of women who prefer to be mothers. And I think that’s a beautiful thing so long as it’s their choice. Having a child is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever witnessed and growing up mostly raising my brother, I sort of know what it’s like though I can’t say I fully do since I’ve never had kids and I can’t say the future is looking bright for me to have one. (A history of mental illness and depression runs through my family.)

In any case, I think I feel it’s best to bring up the point that I don’t quite agree with men being put down here either. I think we all have our judgments based on genders of which we grew up with, but at the same time, I believe we should never be without the other gender. Where would men be without women and where would women be without men? Men are strong, sweet, and compassionate when you give them the best chance to show that side of themselves and the sad thing is, we don’t sometimes. It goes the same for women, we can be strong and ambitious, but a lot of the time we’re hushed up because we fear it may intimidate others.

In the end, I believe you are right. Everyone deserves respect in their own right. And ethically, we should outreach that respect to them and lessen such an ignorant/self-indulgent air. At the very least, that’s what I’ve learn from your post and advice.

I am proud to be a woman, just as you are proud to be a man. I’ll try not to listen to the stereotypes so much in society and thank you for your author recommendations. I’ll be searching them out on Amazon soon. And it is beautiful that you see female divinity through your daughter. You sound like a great, influential father.

To Shadowbutterfly7:

Thank you. Your last sentence of advice was very inspiring and I will do my best to live it out, and not let those stupid stereotypes get to my head. That is something well worth to remember when I get frustrated like this. Thank you so much!

To Adastra:

I wouldn’t say I necessarily agree with everything you say there. We women are indeed great and we should celebrate ourselves for the strengths we offer to this world. I’d like to say I am a feminist, but now people associate feminists with crazed women on Tumblr who claim that men are somehow raping women with their minds and without touching them. And I will be the first to admit that the world has been crappy to women time and time again. But we’ve come a long way and we don’t have to take that before if that’s the type of crap that gets pointed out way, in effort to make us feel anything less than what we are.

I understand where you’re coming from and though I can’t vouch for myself as being strong and independent, I am proud of being a woman and for having the positive traits and abilities that you identified. Thank you.
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Xiao Rong »

AdastraJunction wrote:Women on the other hand have cunning, methodical ways of surviving. A look here, a pleading prayer there and we are taken in under the wing of a poor sap who has no clue that he (or even a she) gave in to the simplest of devices at a women’s disposal… her grace, charm and ability to be vulnerable when called for. In a modern day this works well. It can as well in non conventional ways with a basic understanding of foraging, gardening and trapping if not an avid or basic knowledge of hunting prowess ... women are clever, independent, assertive calculating creatures that can create a life and in the same second send your world crashing down with nothing but a glance.... the sad part is that most men will let you.
Adastra -- I wouldn't say that this sort of cunning, manipulative behavior is innate to women, but weapons like lies, sabotage, and manipulation (along with things like poison and, yes, witchcraft) are historically the tools of choice by those who don't have any power. In the past, when women were primarily considered chattel and didn't have any direct access to political or economic power and were instead valued only for their sexual/reproductive worth, it's no accident that women would gain power via manipulating the men in their lives who DID have access to power with "feminine wiles" or whatever. I hope that with feminism and equal rights and access, nobody will need to resort to those kinds of underhanded tactics and be able to get what they need fairly and justly.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: I Am So Annoyed/Confused!

Post by Rachaelraq »

Wow it makes a massive difference to hear people with similar thoughts and opinions as me. Thank you all x

I too keep getting cosmic sadness about the way both genders seem to be heading.

It seems our ancestors had the balance correct, until they were hunted down and killed due to not subsiding to the new patriarchy rules and religions that became main stream.

Even in our own histories women fought for our rights and in less than a hundred years it seems we have gone full circle with men and women are again trying to dominate us to be less equal.

I work in a secondary school and teach 14 to 19 year olds. I get really sad and upset when I hear the low self esteem of so many girls and boys who are fixated with their image or being popular they forget to focus on themselves.

It seems that society are so obsessed with belonging to the cool group that many of us forget to open our eyes and just enjoy the fact we are alive and healthy.

Not only are females being challenged for no longer accepting the roles males assign to us but certain women are also lowering the standards by acting up to the stereotypes and shallowness that is normally associated with males stereotypes.

On the other side males are also losing their masculinity due to females no longer needing them for homes, finances etc they are struggling for their independence that they now have as us women do also. Rather than accept this freedom and discover themselves and learn to love for the reason of love not dependency.

I do believe that we are heading one day to full circle again. We will have a more matriarchy society. I doubt it will be an easy ride and the fat capitalists will try and stop it, but I do truly believe there are more of us out there than the people with the power realise, and when we need to we will unite.

Sorry if that turned into a rant of my own but it's a subject I too feel really deep about.

Blessed be us all and strength to those that are still searching for themselves xx
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