Anxiety, Theater, and Peter (a rant)

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Falcon_Heart27
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Anxiety, Theater, and Peter (a rant)

Post by Falcon_Heart27 »

*sigh* I'm so anxious, so depressed right now. I've been working on a play at the local theater.... "The Nerd". It's a comedy. I'm the stage manager, lighting technician, sound technician, prop hunter, cheerleader, and slave. But that's not the problem...
It's Peter. Don't get me wrong- I adore him. He's a great friend to me, and has been since I met him a few years ago. He's a brilliant actor and all-around nice guy.
Last night was opening night for "The Nerd". It went well, it really did. But right before we started the show, Peter gave me some heart-breaking news. He told me that this is his last play. He told me, quote, "I'm growing up, I guess. I have to get a job. Go to college. Pay the bills."
It was pretty sad. I remember leaving the room really quickly and trying not to cry.

You may think that I'm over-reacting, but consider this-
When I first came to that theater, I was eight years old. I was also friendless, and terribly shy. However, the people in that play accepted me more openly than I've ever known. Over the next few years, they became like a second family; they made me feel less alone in the world.
Then one by one, they're doing exactly what Peter is doing- growing up. One by one, they all left. All without a goodbye or a reason. They launched careers, went to college, etc... and I haven't seen any of them since.
Peter is one of the last of the "good ol' crowd". Now he's leaving, too. I keep flashing back to all of the memories....writing messages to each other on the light-booth wall; dancing and singing old 80's tunes with each other; laughing so, SO hard, over nothing at all...the kind of laughter that makes you fall over, the kind that sounds ridiculous but you're so happy that you don't even care. I flash back to all of our weird conversations...the kind of conversations that I could never really have with anyone else. About silly things like interpretive dance, and Chinese food, and Scottish accents....(it sauhnds lahk yoor chokin' on yer own cat's tail, lassie!)

And then I think about how, when he goes, our rickety patched-up friendship will fall away completely. Just like the last of my childhood friends, "second family...and they're all gone.
It saddens me greatly, so much that it hurts.
I can't keep writing this, I think I'm going to cry....I'm really sorry if you think I'm being over emotional. I probably am. But I don't expect anyone except me to understand.

On the bright side, look at the flier that I made for the play...
Image

From left to right- Jake Smith, Peter Cowley, Joe Reichlin


(And do me a favor, if you know any of these people, please don't tell them about this...awkwardness waiting to happen.)
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Falcon_Heart27
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Re: Anxiety, Theater, and Peter (a rant)

Post by Falcon_Heart27 »

Here's a very important lesson for everyone- "if you love someone or something, (in my case strictly platonically) they'll always find a way back to you."

I learned that lesson tonight after starting the show, and looking out in the audience and seeing an old friend. When he left for college, I thought that was the end, much like my situation with Peter. But guess what? It may've been 3 years, but he showed up and surprised us all. We met up directly after the show and caught up with each other for a good 40 minutes. I really feel like this is a good sign.

That being said, I think I may have been a little over-emotional and shocked when posting this topic last night. I'm much more optimistic and happy now, and I'm just glad for him.

Actually, I feel pretty stupid for posting this topic in the first place. But maybe this'll be a good lesson for others to read about, eh? :/
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Falcon_Heart27
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Re: Anxiety, Theater, and Peter (a rant)

Post by Falcon_Heart27 »

It's fascinating how an emotional rant that I stood so strongly behind yesterday can seem so ridiculous to me today. Sorry, everyone, I guess it was just a bad day. [CONFOUNDED FACE]
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