Distressed...please advise? Pet/animal magic

[FranMirren]

Hi everyone,

Usually I'm the most positive person I can be...but I'm having a problem that is really breaking my spirit. We adopted 3 shelter dogs in the last 3 months. My little cocker mix came from an abusive family and at 8 years old, nobody wanted him, he was at the shelter for nearly half a year. When we saw him, I fell in love and committed to making him know how much we love him and how much he can trust that we'll treat him with gentleness, kindness and affection. He's been with us just over 2 months and gets along very well with the other 2 huskies and our 3 cats. 99% of the time he's a cute little affectionate and playful silly dog. We have learned that he is a growler. But the growling is a reaction of insecurity...vet visits suggested this because he even growls when we pet him and he licks us and wags his tail. It took us a while to trust that his growling wasn't aggressive towards us.

Today he bit me. He picked up something on the ground during his walk and I went to take it from him and snap. Blood drawn, oh gosh it hurts. But what hurts most is my selfish feelings I guess. I'm so upset that my little dog could actually do that to me. I'm having a hard time getting over it and I don't know how to proceed. I won't give up on him but I need to restore my own confidence and spirit first. I need to figure this out, I don't want him to feel unloved one bit, but I admit I'm a little afraid at the moment.

I'm too distressed to think of any magick or charm to help me, though my intent is there, it feels desperate. Does anyone have some advice for me? I would so much appreciate it.

Thanks,
Fran

My Sweetie, Jack:

[evil ed]

First of all, think of this as a reaction, NOT AN ATTACK. this dog reacted based on what he has learned, during and before becoming a member of your family. This is noy YOUR fault, this is not HIS fault. This is not a blame situation.

The very first thing I would recomend is to analyze the situation as much as you can. On his side- How was he acting right before and during the time he had "whateveritwas"? Was he growling at any time during this and did the growling change in intensity during the incident? Were there any other signals he may have been giving you during this time? Was the "whateveritwas" edible, and how has he been around other members of his "pack" at eating time?
On your side- How did you react when you saw he had "whateveritwas"? Was there any change in intensity in your voice? Were there any confusing signals that you may have given him at this time?
Were your movements slow, deliberate, and reassuring, or were you frantic to remove something that you thought may be harmful?
Thinking this out may be helpful to how you are feeling now.
In the longer run, you may want to do some one-on-one work with "drop it". Try using a large Kong type toy. keep a favorite treat in a zip-loc bag. Have something he may like that can go into the kong when you squeeze it (graham crackers work well for this). keep him on his lead. call him by name when he has the kong. tell him in a firm, but not scolding or yelling voice "drop it" . Then quickly remove a piece of his treat from the bag. When he drops the kong to take the treat, praise him, making your movements slow and deliberate.

I'm not saying this is an absolute solution, but it may be a start towards a relationship you want .

[FranMirren]

Thank you Ed This was very reassuring to read. I thought about the situation. He picked up a pine cone btw. He'll basically eat anything he finds. I've been using positive training with him because he's so insecure, I don't believe in making a dog fear me to submit at all. I had 2 pugs for 16 and 19 years respectively, and my method of a loving training approach worked so well. I guess that's why I feel selfish that I'm hurt over this. My finger will heal, but my heart is hurting too.

I know it's not his fault, he doesn't know any better and maybe I'm expecting too much after only having him since September 16th. Every day I give him his toy or a bone, then I say "drop" and he growls. I've tried the "trading up" method which works. I offer him a treat and he drops the item immediately and I praise him like crazy. I've even gotten to the point to teach him "open" while I open his mouth gently to look inside and run my fingers across his gums. I guess it's the same concept as your Kong idea.

I guess it works at home inside, but once we're outside all bets are off! Maybe I should carry a bag of treats with me during walks, but sometimes I have the huskies with me too, which makes things a little complicated. The only problem is that he nearly swallows the "item", today the pinecone, immediately. By the time I can react it's at the back of his throat, so will "drop" work? I've been researching and even Cesar says if a dog "scavenges" during walks, a good idea is a "basket-style" plastic muzzle so he can still sniff and breathe okay, but temptation to eat anything won't result in a stressful situation.

It was a bit of a haze, but I really think that I reacted calmly. I said "Jack, open" and put my fingers on the side of his gums and opened his mouth...he let me. But once my hand was inside to grab the pine cone, that's when he bit. After that he was shaking and growling. I made him sit and told him a firm "NO". He continued to growl and I went to his mouth again to try to take it out and he snapped a second time. At that point, I had to use the choke collar to subdue him while I got the pine cone out.

I thought I was doing everything right. I guess I wasn't.

Oh, and he acted completely normal prior to and after the pine cone incident. He's so happy with his pack, never attacks the cats...it's just that one little problem.

It just started to snow here. I went out and did a little snow purification ritual and my spirit feels a lot better. I went over to hug the little fellow...he's so dear to me! My fear is gone...I just want to help him trust me.

And thank you, talking about it helps so much too. It's very comforting!

[Becks]

Okay, that's is "guarding" behaviour. It is not a quick or a magical fix. "possession aggression" or "object guarding" are also terms that are used. You can google online there are a lot of resources for that. I have been through some food guarding and stick guarding with my mum's German shepherd dog. Great animals, but it's something you need to work on, and int His case it's not food guarding, but it can be any object your dog perceives as important....like a pine cone.

Now you know this can happen....so you will be prepared. I'm sure it was instinctual and the dog didn't even think about it. Sometimes you see warning signs, and sometimes it happens very fast. My mums dog was like this. You do want to start working on "drop it" or "give" or whatever in other situations when your dog is not aroused and tense.

You also need to have some kind of treat or toy that your dog considers of "higher interest" or "bigger reward" to what the pine cone is...I don't know if your dog is food driven.....we had to work on another reward that our dog considered more valuable, I would have him "aus" the object he was guarding and do another unrelated job for me, to break the tension of the situation, and then he would get the reward. I also don't like to reward for the guarding and the negative state of arousal. I'm rewarding and reinforcing calm behaviour....not tense angry behaviour with a pine cone in the mouth...do it the wrong way and you reinforce the negative state.

There's more to it, but if this is something ongoing it is worth the investment to pay for an hour or two with a proper animal behaviouist trainer to get the best solution and training course for your dog.

The other thing people need to keep in mind is that we work on a replacement behaviour or whatever, and things may get better, but you always need to reinforce that behaviour and keep training for the life of your dog. Skills are taught but they need to be reviewed or they can come back, or pop up in another part of the dog's life....these furry folks are like people, and learning isn't always a straight line. It wanders and meanders.

In the meantime, you might have to walk that dog alone so it doesn't hurt others and be mindful. Maybe on leash is better to off leash? I can't speak to this because I don't know your situation. The red leash system means it's best not to approach or pet that dog. I'm not saying the dog is bad, and I get frustrated when people think every dog needs to be perfect. The dog is the dog....if it is on leash and under your control people need to respect you and the dog's space....just until this is under control.

You sound like an amazing person and a really responsible pet owner. I'm sure you will work through this.

[FranMirren]

Thank you Becks

Just to clarify, the magick I was looking for was to give me strength and confidence to be calm under the situation, I should have been more clear. I have an emotional disorder and a situation such as today's has really dampened my spirit. I'm trying to be positive, but it's not easy for me to control the negativity. I'm a practical practicioner and I don't believe that a spell alone can cure a problem. I believe in intent, energy and action when performing spells and charms. When my energy is low or my feelings are negative, I know that I don't have the intent to project energy...so nothing will work for me. I went out in the snow and made some snowballs, each snowball that I threw represented a negative energy "No more hurt feelings" as I threw the first snowball, "No more fear" as I threw the second etc...it empowered me to be brave. How can I resist a face like this?:



I walk all of our dogs on a leash always, I'm not a fan of off-leash walking ever. It's a matter of personal opinion though, I know some folks who refuse to put their dogs on a leash. No matter how much training you give the pet, as you said, a dog is a dog. I never trust them 100%! Each dog that we fostered/adopted, came with a 4 week basic training course as an incentive to foster and adopt. So all of our dogs went through basic training, though it's choke collar training, which worked so well for the huskies, but really not for Jack so I cut it short and decided my own method of positive reinforcement would be better. We've had a lot of success with it. At home, he does "guard" his toy and bone, but with the "trading up" of a liver treat, he drops those things like they don't exist. But I'm certainly not above seeing a behaviourist if needed. My goal is to make the little guy happy and confident. I love him to bits Oh, he's not aggressive to other dogs or people at all btw, it's just, like you said, the "guarding" behaviour.

Outside though...it's going to be a tough road. I walked him alone tonight and he went for the same area where he found the pine cone...I said firmly NO before he could get to that area, he gave me a guilty look then moved on, then of course, he got the praise. He tried to pick up a little twig just a moment later and I had to pull him away with another NO...it's like, I turn my head to watch where I'm walking and he's already got something in his mouth!!!

My pug who died in 2011 when he was 16 needed continual training throughout his life for sitting and staying, so I'm up for it. They are my dogs for life and I'm committed to them. I refuse to give up on Jack, but I have to say I'm a little gunshy because of the bite. I need to build my own confidence as I build his too.

So all advice, doggie-related as well as magickal advice on how to rebuild my own confidence will be greatly appreciated.

[FranMirren]

Oh, and I sure hope this is posted in the right area...it's so general a topic...

[Becks]

Oh that sounds like you are on it and know exactly what you need. Here we have off leash dog areas and parks but some people just let their dogs wander and that makes me crazy.

This happened to my mum. Exactly. Appended to me with my "brother" the German Shepherd.It is frightening and it completely shakes your confidence....especially when there is little warning. You end up hyper vigilant in situations and that extreme vigilance transmits down the leash as being anxious....and the dog picks up on that....and the energy can perpetuate for sure. That being said, now you know it happens, and that is a kind of information and power in itself.


You do excellent work! How lucky they are to have you.

[Jenny Crow]

Hello FranMirren, you've been given some good advice here and know that you're a very special person looking after your dogs as you do. Sorry you're upset about what your little dog did but please don't take it personally. Don't let your confidence waiver - know that you do good work and these dogs need you - without you they would have no life. Some rescue dogs need a lot of understanding and have special needs.

I agree with Becks, too, that your dog is going to pick up on your energies - dogs are excellent at "reading" us and that anxiety IS going to travel right down the leash. You really need to learn to control the negativity and not take this personally. If you don't live in the country, as I do, I think it's a good idea to walk your dogs on the leash although my German Shepherd is almost never on the leash, but then I have my own forest to walk her through and miles of country roads. As well being obedience trained she works on signals so if she's a bit ahead of me and I need to convey something to her she'll see me signal (but enough about me)Someone said that no matter how much training you give your pet- a dog is still a dog - which is true but I trust my dog 100% because I KNOW her, know what she's capable of and can read her body language and I know in what circumstances she would attack or bite. They cannot use words to tell us something - your dog was "talking" to you in the only language that he knows. You haven't had your dog for very long and it takes time to build that special bond that can be achieved between human and canine, which I'm sure you already know.

I would suggest you find a person who is not a dog trainer per se but someone who understands the body language and psychology of canines and can help you work through your dog's issue. If it's not looked after ASAP then it may escalate into something bigger and you don't want that to happen. Instead of focusing on how hurt YOUR feelings are try to focus on your dog's feelings and what he needs. Try not to make this issue about YOU when it's your dog that needs the help.

As well, if you believe in it - and I do 100% - there are animal communicators out there who can communicate with your pet and be a "go-between" for you both. If you can't find one, I personally know one of the best who has read my dog and told me things that she couldn't have known unless she got the information from my dog. She doesn't need to meet the pet personally, she can read him through a picture that you would provide to her.

Blessings to you and your pet,
Jenny Crow

[FranMirren]

Thank you Jenny, and thank you all again so much...my dog definitely needs some help...he bit my boyfriend last night, It's become overwhelming.

Things were going well, everyone was loving and gentle. Then we called Jack up to hang out with us and the other pets while we watched a movie and my bf went to take his leash to bring him up, as he normally does, (we have a little training leash on his collar during the day) and he bit him. He continued to growl and bark after and I had to intervene and try to calm both of them down.

My bf is livid...I know it's fear and disappointed cloaked as anger...I can't blame him, I got bit and didn't smile about it... but he doesn't even want to come near Jack anymore...I'm trying to figure it out, Jack was still stressed, it was dark, he was afraid...I can't wait for payday so I can go get some tools to help train him.

And this morning, Jack is fine again. My bf and him "made up"...

I need to restore my confidence asap. I feel 100% responsible to make things better. I know I'm no use to anyone if I'm too scared to act. Jenny, I appreciate your advice, but I have to say it's easier said than done, "don't make it about you", and I completely agree that I need to be strong for everyone, especially Jack...unfortunately my ptsd is getting in the way and I'm a little lost...I'm working hard at it though. You all are helping me to be able to talk about it freely like this without fear of judgment.

[evil ed]

Judgment? If any judgments have been made,they're on the positive side . God and Goddess only know what Jack went through before he came to you. You're doing good kid!
the first dog my wife and I had was a weimeraner (I know I misspelled this one...) lab mix. Molly was a great dog, but one day I received a frantic call from my wife. Molly had done something, and my wife went to correct her. Molly went into her crate, and my wife reached in and was bitten. her reaction was very similar to yours. Molly was in her crate, her cave, her "safe place". While I wanted her to feel safe, I also did not want this behavior to go unchecked. I explained this to my wife, and calmed her worries. The next time Molly went into her cage, I went down to the opening, and she started to growl. I told her "no", she growled again. this time I told her "no", then tipped her out of the crate! I didn't know a dog could look that surprised! I put the crate back, she did the same thing, and I did the same thing EXCEPT this time I latched the door so she could not rush back in. after about 15 minutes I unlatched the door. This went on daily until she learned that we were to be allowed in he "safe place".

[FranMirren]

Oh thanks Ed I feel so encouraged! I also belong to a dog forum, and you can't believe the judgment I got on that forum...people only read what they want to see so they can be mean sometimes I think. I stopped posting there because I'm way too sensitive. I feel so safe here

You know, that is exactly what happened last night with my bf...Jack was in his crate when all of this happened. He's never reacted that way before when we put our hands into the crate to bring him out...but I guess his stress levels yesterday were higher than normal. I like the crate tipping idea, I know that would work with him when he is unwilling to come out. Of course, he is unwilling to come out because he's scared of what might happen....he responds well to treats so I'm going to try that tonight and reward him greatly when he comes out. Oh that's a great trip.

[evil ed]

When you do tip him out I would probably not use a treat at that time. give him about 15 minutes or so, then give him a treat. let him learn that even if he is tipped out, nothing bad is going to happen.
Keep us posted!
E.E.

[FranMirren]

You're right, it's all about building his confidence that we are not going to hurt him...thanks again and I'll keep everyone posted. I'm encouraged

[Starri Knytes]

I'm not sure that magic is what's in order here. Dogs are pack animals. This puppy is showing you who's boss and by your submissive behavior towards it you are creating a new pecking order with the spaniel in the lead.
You need to show this puppy that you are the leader of this pack.
That can be done in a firm yet gentle way. I would suggest Googling the dog whisper. He has done wonders with dogs similar to yours.

*Spaniel are so very cute but can be a problem if not shown who's in charge. My sister had a similar problem with a rescued spaniel.

Hope you heal quickly and are able to show your new house mate proper behavior.

Good luck sweetie.