I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Discuss mental health issues, including suicidal thoughts, here.
jinlee916

Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by jinlee916 »

Hear my word,suicide is NOT the answer. I have a person in my class that wants to kill himself. 2 actually. If you decide to, think about the family that you have that loves you. You not only hurt yourself in a suicidal way but you hurt everyone that loves you. Why would you do it? God gave you this body that you should cherish forever. If you are gay and people are bullying you, ignore them. It's not like they are any better. Take my advice: suicidal attempts are NOT the answer to your problems. If you want to kill yourself talk to somebody. A thereripist,anybody!!!!!! Stay safe and alive. Do NOT attempt suicide. smileykiss2 smileykiss2 smiley_dance
DarkDeathGoddess

Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by DarkDeathGoddess »

elicit , thank you for sharing. I was abused by my step-mother since I was three years old and it hasn't got any better. I'm now 17 and still living with her and my dad. I have tried (and failed) suicide so many times and on two occasions I was put into hospital. I realised about a month ago that there is no point trying to commit suicide because obviously Goddess/God has a plan for me and is protecting me. I'm moving out at the end of this year and I hope to start a better life. Thank you everybody on this forum for securing my choice of not committing suicide.
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Stonehenge »

DarkDeathGoddess: I hate to hear about your life where you are at since you were 3 years old, That's a terrible life to have to live. I think it's a GREAT thing that you have decided to stay around and not take your life. Good luck with moving out on your own and starting a new life.
"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey; we are spiritual beings on a human journey."
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Mazu Sakura »

@ starlight: Merry Meet. I love your tale and I will be sure to show this to anyone who says they are thinking of suicide. I believe that sucide is wrong because in the wiccan rede it states: "Live you must, and let to Live; Fairly take and Fairly give."
I too have had these dreams, however it varies, for I could not feel the pain, but could feel the emotions, as you have described. Thank you for telling your story, for it has empowered me.
The tears we cry are the scars we bear.
May we bear them with pride, for they tell the story of who we are and where we have been.
BLESSED BE!
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Mazu Sakura
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Post by Mazu Sakura »

kgwitch wrote:Here's my story

I once considered suicide. I made the mistake of coming out as gay at high school and I got bullied. The homophobia just escalated each day. I was jeered at by people I didn't even know, I had stones thrown at me on the way home from school and I was beaten down both physically and emotionally. After going through this for about a month or two I decided to slit my wrist, but I was too afraid to die and just began cutting myself instead. From then on I cut myself almost nightly (depending on how much abuse I endured that particular day). This became an addiction. I eventually got counselling from a teacher of mine and when I began to quit the self-harming I went through serious withdrawl symptoms such as shivering in bed I was so desperate to do it.
Since then, I've changed schools and although I have my moments, I'm pretty much healed. I have family and really close friends who love me and I'm glad I didn't end it :wink:
I have also cut a few times... I know its wrong, but it is addictive.
The tears we cry are the scars we bear.
May we bear them with pride, for they tell the story of who we are and where we have been.
BLESSED BE!
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by SnowCat »

I didn't read the entire thread, but I can definitely relate to it. My uncle commited suicide rather than lose his legs to diabetes. My nephew died of an accidental overdose almost two years ago. Not the usual definition of suicide, but still self-inflicted.

In the case of physician assisted suicide due to a debilitating terminal condition, I believe it should be legal. Making an informed decision to die with dignity, rather than be warehoused in a care facility, is I think, humane. Care facilities tend to be understaffed, and the more help a person needs, the less they tend to receive.

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annie

Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by annie »

Hi There !
I found this forum and wanted to add my own story. I lost my baby brother John ( Blackwolfe) in 02, he was only 25. It was a doctors error, I never got to grieve for him , Our mom was acting out big time the world was about her not her son that died. Then in 08 my mom passed away, I would be lying if I said I missed her or felt sadness that she died. we brought a house inbetween all that, my sister Donna and I. We had put money aside for when my mom died for her funeral and such, come to find out ( we had the cash in the house) Mom was giving the money to a neighbor to buy her alcohol . So we had to nip into the house hold money to pay for her funeral . Which left us short on cash to pay the mortgage. Long story short we ended up going into forclosure , sorry but this is painful to type so it is taking me a while. We had cats, a dog, turtles, and three birds, we was faced with nowhere to go. So I made the decision to call the animal rescue league to come take our " babies " away. It broke my heart but I did not know what else to do. My older sister Rose took all of this very hard inbetween all this she had elilipic seizures since she was a child, the doctors diagnose her with a brain tumor long story short, two days after our "babies " was taken away Rose suffered a major heart attack after a seizure and died. I blamed myself for this. I still to this day do that. My sister Rose died in 11, I watched her die and there was nothing I could do about it. A few days later I tried to kill my self, I lost everything in life I had that I loved, My brother, oldest sister, all our pets, all I had left was my sister Donna. My sister Donna ended up finding me in time for them to save my life . I tried for a year while under psychiatry care to kill my self, I can not honestly say I will never try again . But for the most part I know it will leave my sister Donna alone, and our current pets alone and I do not want to do that. For anyone out there that thinks of suicide please take a few seconds to think of those that you will be leaving behind. Life is never easy I am still to this day fighting depression because of all my lose but I take each day has it comes. I am sorry about the grammer errors and what not it was hard to write this I thank everyone for reading it god bless and take care
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by nicoledianthus »

I just wanted to say if anyone ever contemplates suicide, send me a message, my dad killed himself last year , speak to someone before making any rash decisions
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by MysticDreamFaerie »

Hello, I saw this thread and thought I'd share my story with everyone. There's been many times where I was bullied during High School. Girls would come up to me and try to picks fights with me, put words into my mouth and say that I said certain things so they could beat me up. Sometimes I just took it and never stood up for myself. Before I was bullied in High School I went through a a rough child hood and was molested by my real father and not only that but my mother remarried and my step father's son molested me a couple of times & would twist my arm if I didn't do the things he wanted me to do.... When I was 19 years old I felt so depressed and wanted to kill myself cause I blamed myself for everything that has happened to me. Later on I found out I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and often times I think of killing myself but I never go through with it cause I eventually up feeling better a couple hours later after I'm done crying.

Usually find myself crying when I feel alone and I often times feel like people hate me. There's been many occasions would I believed all the abuse was my fault and I often find myself writing in my journal whenever I get deeply depressed. As of right now I joined many Forums so I have support in different ways & started getting into Spirituality when I moved to Florida. It has helped me out in many different ways but I keep it to myself cause I'm afraid that people will try to bully me again or try to make me feel bad for what I wish to believe in. Sometimes I feel like a lost little child cause of what happened to me. Hate the way I feel like this but I keep telling myself that things will get better and that one day I'll heal from all the abused that I endured when I was younger. This is a horrible thing that I went through but I've been silent about it for so many years and now I'm so tired of keeping it all bottled up inside. I didn't write this story on here for people to pity me but I can no longer keep this to myself anymore. Tried to live with this for so many years, without telling many people about it and you can only keep things bottled in for so long until you start to crack. When I got out of my last relationship with my abusive boyfriend, I finally found myself a therapist. Now I can finally concentrating on my healing and trying to live a better life. Feel a bit lost at times and I haven't even gone to college cause my ex boyfriend held me back from so many things. Hopefully once I feel a little bit better, I can go to college and start my life finally.

Sorry for this long post but I needed to get this off my mind. I'm tired of keeping this all inside.... :(
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." ~Tori Amos
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Isis3Anubis »

Sorry you had to go through that Sam. I too was raped by a date that I later took to my prom because no one else would take me and I felt like I had done something to provoke him so I wrote it off, only to have him try to attack one of my friends later that night.
Before that though I was always clinically depressed and suicidal since early childhood. Always wanting to die, begging for help but being ignored, to afraid to commit suicide because I was a Catholic and I didn't want to end up in a worse hell that I already was living.
Sad to say the only real way I got help was medication, and exercise/diet. I still have issues and the doctors say it will be lifelong as it is genetic. The goddess / meditation / and family keep me afloat. Also I kind of when through a shamanic death which led to enlightenment so sometimes we have to go through the darkness to get to the dawn.
Good luck to all those with mental illness. There is a Facebook page called Shamanism and Mental Illness. They discuss there how a shamanic experience can bring up feelings of suicide and mental instabilities. Perhaps it will help others to find they are not ill but gifted to see things others cannot.
She's just pieces of me you've never seen ~ Tori Amos
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by MysticDreamFaerie »

Isis3Anubis wrote:Sorry you had to go through that Sam. I too was raped by a date that I later took to my prom because no one else would take me and I felt like I had done something to provoke him so I wrote it off, only to have him try to attack one of my friends later that night.
Before that though I was always clinically depressed and suicidal since early childhood. Always wanting to die, begging for help but being ignored, to afraid to commit suicide because I was a Catholic and I didn't want to end up in a worse hell that I already was living.
Sad to say the only real way I got help was medication, and exercise/diet. I still have issues and the doctors say it will be lifelong as it is genetic. The goddess / meditation / and family keep me afloat. Also I kind of when through a shamanic death which led to enlightenment so sometimes we have to go through the darkness to get to the dawn.
Good luck to all those with mental illness. There is a Facebook page called Shamanism and Mental Illness. They discuss there how a shamanic experience can bring up feelings of suicide and mental instabilities. Perhaps it will help others to find they are not ill but gifted to see things others cannot.
Thank you for you're kind words. Sorry I wrote back to this late, I haven't been on the Forums as much as I used too cause I'm trying to focus on my self healing for the time being but I'll check that out on Facebook. You're kind words has helped me and I appreciate them greatly! I'm glad things have gotten better for you and that you've healed from all the bad experiences that you've been through. Feel free to send me a pm if you ever need someone to talk too. I'll be happy to be here for you, if you need a friend. :flyingwitch: Stay well! Much Love<3
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." ~Tori Amos
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Isis3Anubis »

MysticDreamer_Sam wrote:
Thank you for you're kind words. Sorry I wrote back to this late, I haven't been on the Forums as much as I used too cause I'm trying to focus on my self healing for the time being but I'll check that out on Facebook. You're kind words has helped me and I appreciate them greatly! I'm glad things have gotten better for you and that you've healed from all the bad experiences that you've been through. Feel free to send me a pm if you ever need someone to talk too. I'll be happy to be here for you, if you need a friend. :flyingwitch: Stay well! Much Love<3

Thank you for sharing your story too :) I will continue to grow from such reassuring people online such as yourself. I am sorry but I never pm people online unless I know them personally. There are too many creepies out there. Be Safe.
She's just pieces of me you've never seen ~ Tori Amos
ravensilverbear

Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by ravensilverbear »

I am here an attempt survivor on august 2,2013 I took 90 pills thirty pain pills 30 muscle relaxers and thirty for spasm this was Friday afternoon they say I quit breathing and that my heart stopped in the emergency room twice the next thing I remember was waking up at 4 pm sunday afternoon and the doc saying he was surprised I woke up after all they had to do to keep me alive why I did it I don't know maybe the fact I found out my now xwife was having an affair but my world crashed and this was the route I took never would I have thought I was capable of this because I stop to help stray dogs I will give you the shirt off my back if you need it I try to help the world and protect those around me but that day I could not protect myself a week in a mental health facility and I can not say I will not do it again but I try to live each day fresh with no baggage from the day before I have read that if reincarnated after suicide I will have to relive the experience it over and over till in one life or another I get it right and are able to move on some days or trying but to have my pups around help they know when I am having a bad day but there is a hole deep inside will I seek help yes will I pray to the lord and lady for guidance yes will I seek out people who listen yes but I know it will be a daily struggle and it is one I have been winning for 8 months now take my advice don't do it seek help I have been there where you are at it aint worth it
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Moonfire »

This...was a very eye opening story. One that has helped me see a lot.

For those who are struggling with Depression and thoughts of suicide, here's a little something that I found on the internet that was really inspiring to me. "Feeling Depression and Suicidal does not mean you are weak. It simply means that you have been strong for too long."

I found that really inspiration to me. And it reminded me of a lesson that I am trying to learn. It's ok to let yourself be weak sometimes.
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Re: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! Can you help me?

Post by Queen of the Dead »

It's been about a month since the last response, but as a depressed person, I can say that no post on this thread is very helpful. I am trying not to be so negative, but really. If someone truly has a terrible life and it is out of their control, they should be able to commit suicide without people making them feel guilty about being "selfish" or "weak."

When I was in high school, one of my close friends was suicidal. He was transgender, had an eating disorder, and because he had not gone through transitions yet, he still appeared to be a girl. His parents didn't believe being transgender was legitimate, but he was into girls, and they didn't approve of him being a "lesbian" either.

He was the first person I ever met that would have actually been better off dead. I did not want him to die, but he would be happier that way, and I knew it. The thought made me sad, of course, but if he were about to kill himself, I wouldn't stop him.

Keeping someone alive against their will (whether you are physically not allowing them to die, or emotionally manipulating them to not commit suicide) is not okay. If someone does find something they can relate to, or something to live for, that's fine. But telling someone NOT to kill themselves because their families will miss them, or because they can change themselves, etc. is totally missing the point. Some people can't change. Some people don't have supportive families.

I'm not saying all suicidal people should be encouraged, but think of the people whose lives are beyond fixing. I think we should accept that some people can't be helped. If someone asks for help, that's a different story. But if you had an absolutely terrible life and couldn't do anything about it, would you really want people telling you that you couldn't kill yourself? If someone does have a terrible life and can't commit suicide, they might just hurt themselves forever or even hurt other people, which both are much worse.

Please think about this before telling people not to commit suicide.
Happiness is hiding so you can appreciate it more when you find it. Keep looking.

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