Hello IndigoDoll,
You are in such a complex and delicate situation. I can see how powerless you may feel when you can't decide about something so important and intimate as psychiatric medication. I can only imagine how difficult, if not impossible it is to trust that someone else wants the best for you when your own intuition tells you something different.
However, I wouldn't say this is the right place to ask for advice. No one on this forum knows you personally. We don't know what you struggle with. Most of us are not professionals. I dare to say that those members of the community who are medical professionals would not diagnose or give you advice online without meeting you personally.
I strongly recommend that you talk to someone who you trust-family, friend, doctor, nurse, social worker or even lawyer and tell them about your concern. You may want to write a letter about it if you find it difficult to talk directly. You can show them this post that you wrote above.
I hope your support team will be able to help you and that you will feel better soon! Wishing all the best to you
