Im suicidal..

[Victoria Mnemosyne]

and the worst part is how many people I know decided i'm
"just an attention whore".

people are so ignorant. id like to see how well they hold up under this nightmare

[findapath]

Victoria,

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I know what it's like to feel that there's no other way out of your problems, but that's not the answer. I don't know you. I don't know your troubles. But I do know that there's nothing that a willing person can't recover from.

I've been there. I've been in the darkest hours of the day of life before. I had everything I ever loved stripped away from me in a short time period. I had my whole world flipped upside down, shaken about, stomped on, shattered and then set on fire. I don't really want to get into the specifics, because it's really hard to talk about. Long story short, I had the person I loved the most in the world die in my arms, and not by any natural causes. I thought there was no way to ease the pain. I even attempted, unsuccessfully, on a few occasions to extinguish the pain. This was several years ago now, and I'm in a good place now. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt from time to time, but it does get better.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. The ones calling you an 'attention whore' aren't your friends. They're insensitive to you and what you're feeling. Be proactive. You can and will get through this.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

D.

[Luna Lisa]

Hi Victoria. I know the pain wanting to end it all. I tried so many times to end everything. Because everything was falling apart. In high school I experiecned so much pain. But it does get better. After I graduated high school.
In that same late summer my brother died. And for a while I was blaming myself for his death. I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail. I'm going to be honest. I'm depressed and stressed out most of the time. It would get so bad that I would slit my wrists. I told my parents about it. And now I'm seeing a therapist. I learned after I tried to end everything it wasn't worth it. I kept on saying to myself if I do this what would happen to my family and all of the other people that I hold true and dear. How devasted would they be if I did this? And every time I would try to end it all. That's was the fisrt thing that I thought about. I would go to parties with my friends got drunk. And when I wasn't getting drunk I was getting high to take my mind off of things. But I learned that Getting high and getting drunk made everyhting a whole lot worse. And finapath is right. Those people that were calling you an attention whore aren't your friends at all.

Blessed be.

[Queen Battlezone]

and the worst part is how many people I know decided i'm
"just an attention whore".

people are so ignorant. id like to see how well they hold up under this nightmare

Hey Victoria,
I hope things are looking up for you by now, if not I've some things to say about what you're going through. I used to be suicidal and ended up in a hospital for it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, its pretty much where everything about living is hard, just wanting to sleep all the time, not wanting to talk to anyone, go anywhere, do anything, just wanted to be alone all the time. I hated attention, the only time I wanted or needed attention was when I wasn't getting it. Anyhow, while i was in the hospital I learned alot of coping mechanisms. Nature for example and learning how to appreciate it and live for it. Learning how to watch leaves and air move together and watching raindrops fall from the swaying leaves and realizing that life is beautiful regardless of the ugly people in it. (ugly as in personality wise because i dont believe in ugly ppl physically) Just keep in mind that whatever is holding you down from living the beautiful life you have isnt worth dying for. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. If you need to talk, I'm here

Feel better soon

[arpgme]

and the worst part is how many people I know decided i'm
"just an attention whore".

people are so ignorant. id like to see how well they hold up under this nightmare

What they say about you is irrelevant. This is the way they choose to see you from their perspective but you have a perspective of your own so it doesn't matter how THEY choose to interpret theirs. Your life is for YOUR bliss and happiness, not for anyone's approval. Focus on the self and your connection to who you really are because that is the strongest joy and love of all and you'll see that everyone else opinion about you becomes irrelevant.

[Lynelle]

Just a warning, because I'm not going to lie to you-- things can get worse, and they will if you don't get rid of all the negative people and things in your life. If you're surrounded with negative things like I was, things will stay negative. Try to replace bad with good, and things will definitely improve.

Don't make my mistakes; I befriended a psycho who ended up screwed me over-- which I knew she would do, but I wouldn't get rid of her. Then I just turned to cigars and alcohol, which doesn't help in the long run. Find therapeutic outlets. Even if you don't consider yourself artistic, drawing can really help. (for example) Or painting-- even if it's abstract, you feel better afterward. (if it works for you) I recently started blogging about my mental health issues and art. Consider going to a therapist-- it might take a while to find one you like, but once you find someone you can get along with, it's actually helpful.

It may take a while, but don't give up... I tried to kill myself last week, and I'm actually glad I didn't. Because my roommate would be screwed. I now more frequently hang out with the few friends I have that actually take me seriously. You're right-- that really is the worst part of it all. People who haven't dealt with suicide in some way or another don't understand. You can still be friends with them, but don't rely on them for help. They probably wouldn't last a day, so they wouldn't give good advice anyway.

[Rosewitch]

I know how you feel with the atention whire thing when i was ready and stqrting to try to end by life about 3 years ago whe i would get caught thats what they told me... That i want atention to be truthfull i wasnt even a teenager yet and my plans sucked so i got caught a lot. I dont understand people who clain others are atenrion whores when hurting them selves. Although i have no respect for "emos" i have yet to pick on them and call them names