In shock need reading advice

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loona wynd
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In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

Ok. Now that the thread title has your attention. I really am in a state of shock at the moment. I am adopted. My adoption was open and I live in an open records state. When I turned 18 I registered for the reunion connection registry through the State of Maine. Its been 10 years and nothing.

The other night I got a friends request from some one I had never heard of before on Facebook. I asked this person if I knew them (I belong to so many different groups which have lurkers that I figured they were from there). Lo and behold not the situation. This person said that I dont know her, but that I could be the daughter of one of her best friends (and she gave the current married name and then maiden name of my biological mother).

Now. I am going to be talking to my therapist about this. I am trying to see if I can get in this week to see her. I'm not supposed to see her till next week, but this is sort of an emergency. So before you ask about having the advice of a mental health professional for that aspect of the situation I will and do have that support. So that is in place.

What I am asking is if this is the right time for me to be going through with this according to what the cards say? Its not un common for me to ask this question a few times a year any way. The difference is now I actually have a possible connection to follow through with. So I could use the advice of the cards. Please and thank you.

I am in to much of a shock state to read my own cards.

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Xiao Rong
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hi Loona,

Wow, that is pretty amazing ... I'm still kind of new to Tarot, but I pulled a couple of cards for you ... This is only my interpretation, and you might intrepret them differently than me ...

My first question was: What does Loona need to know about the situation this time? The card I pulled was the Hanged Man. This to me suggests that there are many forces that are outside of your control. Right now, perhaps it is better to be open to the influences outside your control, to surrender yourself to them, rather than try to actively seek things out. Like Odin, you may be rewarded greatly with knowledge for your patience.

My second question was: How is the timing of the situation this time? The card I pulled was the Hierophant. I'm not quite sure how to interpret this card as it relates to timing, but usually it represents rigid hierarchies and structures that are not likely to change much. Maybe this is a sign that the reunion connection registry in Maine may finally be ready to come through for you this time (even though they may move at a glacial pace).

My third question was: What should Loona do? The card I pulled was Queen of Wands, who is energetic, cheerful, and self-assured. I think this is a sign that, although the Hanged Man and the Hierophant represent forces beyond your control, you should keep hope and stay positive in the situation, even though the road may be bumpy at times.

My final question was: What is the possible outcome of the situation? The card I pulled was the Seven of Cups. It has a number of meanings, but the aspect of it that jumps out at me is the idea of needing to make a choice; there will be many options, but some of them are illusions or just wishful thinking, and you will need to see with clear eyes what the road is ahead.

I hope this helped a little bit, or that it makes more sense to you than it does to me ... Keep us posted on how things go, Loona!

Cheers,
Xiao
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~

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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by firebirdflys »

Wow...I got all the chills. I can completely understand where you are coming from. Having been through a similar situation.
I had wondered about my Bio mom since I can remember, being adopted has caused a consternation in me that has clung my whole life. Making living itself a challenge. When I was 27 my Father in law passed away, and that got me thinking I better search if I am ever going to do it. I registered with ALMA and began my search. Within a month I had a call from a woman who at first sounded like she worked for the registry, after some conversation eluding to the fact that my Mother had been found...there was an uncomfortable long pause...then she blurted out, it's you Mother ! :shock: Yeah...I almost fell over...talk about schock :shock: :shock: :shock: She wanted me to come over right away but I had had a long day at the beach, and was a wreck. We met the next day...it was amazing...I have 3 half brothers.
The one thing I can offer to you is ...if she wishes to meet you, be it on your terms. Go slowly, it is a lot to process. Get you questions in order, be prepared for the worst, but hopeful. I had hoped meeting my Mom would take away the years of sadness and confusion...it did not. But I did get a ton of questions answered, and I understand why she did what she did. For one she was only 15, and my bio Dad had been killed in a car crash.
Loona I am sooooo excited for you. I wish I could come and jump up and down with you and hold you and cry with you, this will be a moment to remember.
The two cards I pulled both suggested not rushing, so maybe some phone conversations first...
many blessings, Firebird
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loona wynd
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

Xiao Rong wrote:Hi Loona,

Wow, that is pretty amazing ...
Yeah it is. Its not that I wasn't aware that this day would probably come, and I figured it would be through social media but still it is sort of shocking.
Xiao Rong wrote:I'm still kind of new to Tarot, but I pulled a couple of cards for you ... This is only my interpretation, and you might interpret them differently than me ...

My first question was: What does Loona need to know about the situation this time? The card I pulled was the Hanged Man. This to me suggests that there are many forces that are outside of your control. Right now, perhaps it is better to be open to the influences outside your control, to surrender yourself to them, rather than try to actively seek things out. Like Odin, you may be rewarded greatly with knowledge for your patience.

My second question was: How is the timing of the situation this time? The card I pulled was the Hierophant. I'm not quite sure how to interpret this card as it relates to timing, but usually it represents rigid hierarchies and structures that are not likely to change much. Maybe this is a sign that the reunion connection registry in Maine may finally be ready to come through for you this time (even though they may move at a glacial pace).

My third question was: What should Loona do? The card I pulled was Queen of Wands, who is energetic, cheerful, and self-assured. I think this is a sign that, although the Hanged Man and the Hierophant represent forces beyond your control, you should keep hope and stay positive in the situation, even though the road may be bumpy at times.

My final question was: What is the possible outcome of the situation? The card I pulled was the Seven of Cups. It has a number of meanings, but the aspect of it that jumps out at me is the idea of needing to make a choice; there will be many options, but some of them are illusions or just wishful thinking, and you will need to see with clear eyes what the road is ahead.

I hope this helped a little bit, or that it makes more sense to you than it does to me ... Keep us posted on how things go, Loona!

Cheers,
Xiao
Thank you for the reading. You have given me a lot to think about.

loona wynd
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

firebirdflys wrote:Wow...I got all the chills. I can completely understand where you are coming from. Having been through a similar situation.
I'm still sort of in shock.
firebirdflys wrote: I had wondered about my Bio mom since I can remember, being adopted has caused a consternation in me that has clung my whole life. Making living itself a challenge. When I was 27 my Father in law passed away, and that got me thinking I better search if I am ever going to do it. I registered with ALMA and began my search. Within a month I had a call from a woman who at first sounded like she worked for the registry, after some conversation eluding to the fact that my Mother had been found...there was an uncomfortable long pause...then she blurted out, it's you Mother ! :shock:
Yeah thats a shocker. This person isn't my mother (though the photo id on facebook sort of got me by surprise as it kinda looked like what my bio mom might look like).
firebirdflys wrote:Yeah...I almost fell over...talk about schock :shock: :shock: :shock: She wanted me to come over right away but I had had a long day at the beach, and was a wreck. We met the next day...it was amazing...I have 3 half brothers.
Glad it was a positive experience for you.
firebirdflys wrote: The one thing I can offer to you is ...if she wishes to meet you, be it on your terms. Go slowly, it is a lot to process. Get you questions in order, be prepared for the worst, but hopeful. I had hoped meeting my Mom would take away the years of sadness and confusion...it did not. But I did get a ton of questions answered, and I understand why she did what she did. For one she was only 15, and my bio Dad had been killed in a car crash.
I dont expect the pain to go away. I do expect to get closure and answer some questions. I am planning on going slowly. One of the first things I want to do is confirm that this person who contact me does in fact know my biological mother and that they aren't just playing with me (there are people who will do that). I'm still waiting to see if I can get in on Wednesday to see my Therapist.
firebirdflys wrote: Loona I am sooooo excited for you. I wish I could come and jump up and down with you and hold you and cry with you, this will be a moment to remember.
My emotions have been all over the place. I'm already going through a stressful time. So this is sort of icing to the stress cake as it were right now.
firebirdflys wrote: The two cards I pulled both suggested not rushing, so maybe some phone conversations first...
many blessings, Firebird
Thanks for the reading. I appreciate it.

A reading I had in November did say that if it was going to happen for me it was going to happen in the ext 5-6 months.....

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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by Kassandra »

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Loona, my impressions were that Grandma was saying, "Well, she did all that 'ancestor altar work' a while back there, and well, it did get our attention, hehe." Don't try too hard to think your way through this; let your heart chakra guide you, and just feel your way through it. It's that kind of inner dynamic that will help you find the closure you need. Issues of the heart can't be "figured out" with the mind; they must be felt with the heart, no other way around it.

Draw in close to your ancestors and family right now, mentally and emotionally, for stability. Dust off that altar, shine up those pictures, put some nice offering on there. I feel like Grandma sees how nerve-wracking this is for you, and wants to put a blanket around you, steep a hot cup of tea and give it to you, help you relax and just have some nice moments with you.

I get the sense that one day if it's closure you've wanted, it's closure you'll get, if she has anything to say about it. You're in good hands. That's my feeling. Thank you for sharing this with us so that in our own way we could go through it with you, a little bit. :wink:



.

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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by firebirdflys »

When you say closure does that mean you would not want a relationship with her?
bb, ff
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loona wynd
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

firebirdflys wrote:When you say closure does that mean you would not want a relationship with her?
bb, ff
Not nessecarilly. It means I want to have answers to my questions about why she let what happen happen and about who the rest of that part of my family are. Basically by closure its learning who I am from that perspective (family history, medical history, and what happened from her perspective and understanding).

I dont know about the relationship aspect. If it happens great. If not then I at least get the medical information that I need to be able to be proactive about my health.

loona wynd
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

Kassandra wrote:Loona, my impressions were that Grandma was saying, "Well, she did all that 'ancestor altar work' a while back there, and well, it did get our attention, hehe."
I pary to my ancestors every morning ad every evening. I do a lot of ancestor work in that regard. I even started to invoke them into my rituals via a technique I read about in a book on modern day traditional witchcraft. So I do a lot of ancestral work. I dont know if there are any ancestors of mine working with me aside from my Grandmother (who I learned was my spirit guide many years ago-shortly after her death actually) and my Great Grandmother (her mother) who guides me in card readings (playing cards were her specialty). I'd like to meet other ancestors.
Kassandra wrote:Don't try too hard to think your way through this; let your heart chakra guide you, and just feel your way through it. It's that kind of inner dynamic that will help you find the closure you need. Issues of the heart can't be "figured out" with the mind; they must be felt with the heart, no other way around it.
Well when your emotions are going all over the place the mind aspect at least can help sort them out and process whats going on. I can't ignore the mental processes. I do understand the feeling aspect about the heart. However this is something because of my trauma and MH that I do need to process mentally and think it through. I'm going to feel the emotions and let all my emotions be felt and understood. There are things though that I need to consider before doing anything else.
Kassandra wrote:Draw in close to your ancestors and family right now, mentally and emotionally, for stability. Dust off that altar, shine up those pictures, put some nice offering on there.
I gave them an extra offering last Friday (two days before I got this message) for thanking all my ancestors for working together to find me the right family. It was the 20th anniversary of my adoption and I felt that it was an appropriate time to make an offering to them. That same night I had gone bowling with my mother using my Grandmother's ball. We knew she was playing with us by how the ball tricked us from time to time with perfect placement and the like. So she was there.

Today as I thought about this reply I also remembered an ancestral meditation I did years ago. I remember seeing 4 lines flowing from my body. One for my biological family, one for my foster family, one for my family (adoptive) and one that was my fiance's family lines. I see them today sort of swirling around me as if saying we are here and are listening.
Kassandra wrote: I feel like Grandma sees how nerve-wracking this is for you, and wants to put a blanket around you, steep a hot cup of tea and give it to you, help you relax and just have some nice moments with you.
I do have her old robe. I only wear it now when I really need to feel her presence and her comfort. Other than that it works as padding for my cats bed. It doesn't get worn much because of how often I wore it daily.
Kassandra wrote:I get the sense that one day if it's closure you've wanted, it's closure you'll get, if she has anything to say about it. You're in good hands. That's my feeling. Thank you for sharing this with us so that in our own way we could go through it with you, a little bit. :wink:
I am sure I'll get it some day. Its still a bit of a shock when it can happen though. Thanks for your reading and impressions Kassandra.



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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by SnowCat »

Loona, the only advice I can offer right now is: Remember to breathe. It sounds silly, but with your tangle of emotions, you may find yourself holding your breath mentally and emotionally. I have a sense of a good outcome for you.

Snow
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loona wynd
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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

SnowCat wrote:Loona, the only advice I can offer right now is: Remember to breathe. It sounds silly, but with your tangle of emotions, you may find yourself holding your breath mentally and emotionally. I have a sense of a good outcome for you.

Snow
I'm breathing pretty quickly at the moment. My anxiety has spiked. I am trying to remember my breathing exercise but its not helping as much as I would like.

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Re: In shock need reading advice

Post by loona wynd »

So here is an update.

I had decided to not take any further movement on talking to the women who had contacted me. However it seems that the universe is not letting me have that decision. Today I updated my business status with a statement about being busy preparing for an event I have next weekend (5-25-2014).

One of the things I do when new people like statuses on my business page is see who they are. The women who liked my status-my biological mother. This isn't a possibility. It is a reality.

How do I know its her?

The answer: on her page there was a picture of me at 5 (which she had-last year I was in contact with her) next to a photo of me taken at my birthday in Salem MA. The caption reads:

"This is two pictures side by side one is of my daughter at five and the other is of a young lady between 26-28 whom I believe could be my biological daughter"

So yeah. I think the universe is telling me that its time.

I had a reading in November that said within 5-6 months I would find my biological mother. So I think its fitting that time line. Still sort of freaked, anxious, and in shock.

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