my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

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hopelesshope
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my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

Hello all!!

I was wondering if someone could tell me what is my passion? And what I should really do in my life?
I know its a bit confusing...but lately like for the past 2 years I have been very stressed about it...

The thing is I am 17 and now I have to make choices related to my career. And I have no idea what I should do
I am filling applications for universities which offer mbbs as a course I think I wanna be a doctor or so my mother thinks...
But then I love singing...but I am not sure if I sing well...
And then I have this love for reading novels,,books and all

This all has been making me crazy..i feel like I should go off and die...
I can't even study..though its very important especially now....

I know its an unusual question and a lot to ask but it would be really helpful if someone could help me at all...

Thank you
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by creatrix »

If you love reading, why not an English Major?

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hi Hopelesshope, I work at a college working with students on pretty much just that problem, so I can't resist chiming in! I have just started learning Tarot cards using the Shadowscapes deck, so I did a one-card pull for you, asking about what you should know about your decision. (I have to add here as a disclaimer that I'm an amateur, and this is merely my interpretation of your reading, and you are welcome to interpret the reading otherwise) I drew:

Image

The Eight of Pentacles, which indicates hard work, diligence, increasing knowledge, and attention to detail.

My interpretation here is that what you're hoping for (really, what we all hope for) is for a calling - for that complete clarity of knowing that your life has a single passion, so that the path ahead is entirely obvious and clear, since that was what you are born to do. Sometimes we know people like this, such as the person who's a musical prodigy, so it's obvious s/he should become a concert pianist or whatever. I think the truth, however, is that very few of us really have "callings" - we have multiple interests and passions and therefore many possible paths. It's scary to not know which path we can take.

But my sense is that the Eight of Pentacles is trying to tell you that it doesn't really matter which one you choose, so long as you are willing to make that path work for you. You have the aptitude and ability for any number of things, but like most of us, they aren't your "calling". That sounds scary, but it also means that you also have infinite exciting possibilities for where you can go, as opposed to choosing a single track now and riding it out for the rest of your life. The web is often a metaphor for fate. You are like the spider, who can weave whatever web she chooses, so long as she is diligent.

For now, I would take it one day at a time. I know it feels like you have to plan your whole life right now, but even your choice of university doesn't lock you in to one path for the rest of your life.There is still plenty of room for surprises and unexpected events along the way which no one can predict. Again, like the spider, you can only weave your web a little bit at a time.

I know this may not be the answer you were looking for, but I hope this shed a little bit of light on the situation, at least.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

creatrix wrote:If you love reading, why not an English Major?
Even I am thinking about it....
but then I love singing too...
and I think It would fun being a doctor ( something to do with brain like neurologist or psychiatrist-I love to talk :p)

God!! It is so Confusing!!
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

Thank you so much Xiao
I really appreciate it...
and somewhere deep inside I know I can do whatever I want
But I am from a kind of place where people don't really get second choices...

Nobody here (my friends and family) know anything about how I love to read or sing for them its just a hobby something to do for leisure

and my parents have lots of expectations from me and its fair only since they have put everything they have in me and my brother

and Medical study is pretty expensive...about 1 million or so
I am giving exams for scholarships now..and i can't even study..its just isn't fair to anyone..

therefore I kind of think the choice I make is going to be for forever I know its difficult to understand

But Thank you very much, It really means a lot to have someone who believes in you.
Running out of Time with each Tick-Tock....

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by creatrix »

hopelesshope wrote:
creatrix wrote:If you love reading, why not an English Major?
Even I am thinking about it....
but then I love singing too...
and I think It would fun being a doctor ( something to do with brain like neurologist or psychiatrist-I love to talk :p)

God!! It is so Confusing!!
I like the reading Xiao did and the picture is beautiful! Remember some people have no idea what they want to do, they don't even have one thing, so be happy you have so many things you love! You don't have to give up any of these things, you can explore them all. Even if you decide on a future vocation you can have hobbies. Good luck in your path!

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

Yes I agree with you..
the picture is very beautiful
And i think you are right I have the freedom to choose any path and I am going to enjoy it :)
Thank you
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by YanaKhan »

It doesn't take a degree to be a musician. Take it from someone who has the degree :) If you like music and this is your path, it will find you.
I don't know where are you from, but I don't believe that a decision you make at 17 can't be changed. I graduated an advanced school of Mathematics and natural sciences, raising the hopes I'm going to be a lawyer, a computer specialist or maybe economist, then the Musical academy becoming a piano and voice teacher and worked as a bartender in England and after that as a Business loan officer in a bank. Only then i managed to find my recent job and being a person that never had the patience to deal with kids, I am a teacher and loving it. Life sometimes works strange ways.
Try to remember this is your life and your parents want the best for you, but it may not be what they think. Being a doctor is noble and great, but takes a lot of effort and study. And is sometimes very hard.
Have you considered becoming a shrink? I find that extremely interesting and I suppose it's well paid.
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by Obsidian »

What you're feeling is normal. You're so young and and inexperienced (I don't mean that as an insult) so it may seem like you can't make the 'right' decision because you don't know how to evaluate your options. Trust me, you're not the only one who's been there :)
Just because you start with one career doesn't mean that you will do that thing forever. Also, what I can say from personal experience is that as you start exploring a career or educational path, you start to learn all these new things and consider possibilities that you had never thought of before. There are many more options and considerations in front of you and I'm not saying this to confuse you. The best thing to do is start exploring. If you like something, continue with it. If you don't like it, move on.
Most importantly I advise that you only do things because YOU want to. I started down an educational path that I thought would please other people but it was making me miserable. One day I had a revelation and realized that this is my life and what a waste of life it would be if I only do what makes other people happy and I die miserable and wishing I'd done this or that- it'll be too late by that stage.
Also, don't ask me what you passion is, ask yourself that- it's your passion after all. If you don't know what you're passionate about yet, that's normal too. :)

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by loona wynd »

I don't know if you are still looking for a direction or information or not but I did a reading for you any way. Your original post for me reminded me of a struggle I had several years ago as well in college. So I felt inspired to do a reading for you. I used one of my tarot decks. The deck I used is called the Witches Tarot.

This reading like all the others is going to take up two posts. The first post is the cards, their position, and their meaning. The second post is the interpretation of the reading. I do this to make the responses more manageable and easier to read on the forum.

Its my normal 6 card reading. The first card is you and how the spirits choose to show you in the reading. The second card is the element of earth and the foundation of the situation the reading is telling me about. The third card is the air card. This card is the forces in motion card. The fourth card is the fire card. This card is the passion card. It shows how your passions are effecting the situation. The fifth card is the water card. This card reveals and shows the emotional forces at hand. The sixth and final card is the card of the spirit and the conclusion of the reading at hand.

The first card I pulled to represent you was the 2 of Rods in reverse, This card in reverse deals with sadness, trouble, a loss of faith, and regression.

The second card is the foundation of the situation. This is the root as it were. The card here was the Valet of cups in reverse. This card here has meanings of deviation, being easily influenced, and temporary distractions.

The third card is the forces of change involved in the situation. The card here is the Fool. This is the first card in the Major Arcana. The Major Arcana is often referred to as "The Fools Journey" which when you look at the story they tell overall is fairly accurate. The Fool has many associations. They are beginning and adventure, passion, obsession, and trust of ones own intuition. The largest message of this card though is leaping forward without knowing all the details of the situation. You just jump and know that everything will be all right.

The fourth card is the passions that drive you. This card shows how your personal passions are influencing the situation at hand. The card here is the Valet of Batons. This card means being faithful and being loyal. The theme of this card is being a trusted friend. This trust makes you a good Emissary or Envoy the other two meanings of the card.

The fifth card is the emotional card. This is where your emotional state is having an impact and influence on your current situation. The card chosen here was the 8 of swords. This is a card of conflict. Crisis, criticism, and Imprisonment are also themes found in this card.

The sixth and final card is the spirit card and the conclusion card. The Card pulled here was the High Priestess. This is a very powerful positive card. The card speaks all about self confidence and control. Its a card of wisdom, sound judgement, and self reliance. There is strong intuition present in the meaning of this card was well as a sense of common sense and an ability to always learn.

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by loona wynd »

So here is my interpretation of the reading.

The first card is one of depression and of loss of faith in yourself. Right now you are questioning yourself. You are not quite sure where to go and what to do with yourself in college. You know its a chance to do anything you want but this lack of faith of knowing what to do with your life and not knowing where to study is causing you to question life. Its causing you to question if you can work with your passions. That is the message for you from the 2 of Rods reversed.

The second card which is the foundation of your choices is the Valet of cups also in reverse. This card shows that you have been listening to the advice of basically every one but yourself. You are being influenced fairly easy by the options presented to you by everyone. So at the moment your plans have deviated and changed many times.

The third card is the Fool. With you going off to college its easy to see why this card is the force of change in the reading. Going off to college will be an adventure. This card is all about taking a leap of faith and starting on a new adventure not really knowing what to expect. It has some anxiety associated with that jump, but there is an inner intuition and a sense of guidance from above with the leap of faith. This is why the fool can follow their passions and the things they are obsessed about. They know that by following those paths they will be guided by a higher power and can just let things happen.

The fourth card is your passions and what they have to say on the matter. This card is the valet of batons. This card is about your friends and being true to them. You are a faithful and a loyal friend. You are also trusted by these frieneds. So it makes sense you would trust their judgement on ideas about what to do in college. The warning I see here is that when places with the Valet in Cups in reverse you can see that you are easily influenced by other people. So its important to remember you can say no to your friends if you think its not for you or if you feel strongly in another way. Dont let them be the ones to choose your path for you.

The fifth card is where your emotions are.This is the 8 of swords. This card shows the down side of the Fool which is the force of change. Here we see that the change brought about by the Fool is going to be very difficult to deal with. It will be a crisis of sorts and maybe even an inner conflict. You may feel imprissined by the crisis at hand and not able to move. This could be avoided by listening to the advice of the Fool and take a little bit of a look around before you jump.

The final card is the High Priestess. The High Priestess is a card of self confidence. This card in the position of the outcome shows me that the trials and tribulations brought about by the journey of the Fool will bring you many lessons. You will know yourself better and gain self confidence in a way you haven't seen before. You have wisdom and sound judgement. The lesson here is to listen to your intuition. You are self reliant and self responsible. You can make your own decisions. Trust them and you will do well.

So this is what I see. You need to trust your self and your passions. If you are not sure what your passions really are than be open to trying new things. The Liberal Studies major is one where you can basically try a little of everything. This allows you the freedom to explore art, music, history, philosophy, English lit, and sciences with out having to focus on one specific area if you don't want to. Try things. Have fun. Find what you are passionate about by exploring the new adventure that is college. By finding your true passions and trusting them you will be fine.

If you have any further questions or comments please let me know. I can draw additional cards about specific paths if you want to see the outcome in different paths. For now this is what I see in the cards. I hope this reading was helpful.

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

Elcida wrote:It doesn't take a degree to be a musician. Take it from someone who has the degree :) If you like music and this is your path, it will find you.
I don't know where are you from, but I don't believe that a decision you make at 17 can't be changed. I graduated an advanced school of Mathematics and natural sciences, raising the hopes I'm going to be a lawyer, a computer specialist or maybe economist, then the Musical academy becoming a piano and voice teacher and worked as a bartender in England and after that as a Business loan officer in a bank. Only then i managed to find my recent job and being a person that never had the patience to deal with kids, I am a teacher and loving it. Life sometimes works strange ways.
Try to remember this is your life and your parents want the best for you, but it may not be what they think. Being a doctor is noble and great, but takes a lot of effort and study. And is sometimes very hard.
Have you considered becoming a shrink? I find that extremely interesting and I suppose it's well paid.
Yeah I guess you are right ..
Life is so unpredictable but in the end everything's just fine

and yep I have thought about becoming a shrink
it seems very interesting

but to be a shrink first you have to have a Bachelor degree (M.B.B.S) and then after that you select the particular field you want to be in

and I know its my decision to make but its just I am so indecisive i guess
i just never get pleased with a decision

But Thank you
you made me realize that no matter which way I go
things will be fine some time or another
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

Obsidian wrote:What you're feeling is normal. You're so young and and inexperienced (I don't mean that as an insult) so it may seem like you can't make the 'right' decision because you don't know how to evaluate your options. Trust me, you're not the only one who's been there :)
Just because you start with one career doesn't mean that you will do that thing forever. Also, what I can say from personal experience is that as you start exploring a career or educational path, you start to learn all these new things and consider possibilities that you had never thought of before. There are many more options and considerations in front of you and I'm not saying this to confuse you. The best thing to do is start exploring. If you like something, continue with it. If you don't like it, move on.
Most importantly I advise that you only do things because YOU want to. I started down an educational path that I thought would please other people but it was making me miserable. One day I had a revelation and realized that this is my life and what a waste of life it would be if I only do what makes other people happy and I die miserable and wishing I'd done this or that- it'll be too late by that stage.
Also, don't ask me what you passion is, ask yourself that- it's your passion after all. If you don't know what you're passionate about yet, that's normal too. :)
I understand what you are saying but going to medical school takes a lot of money and my parents are funding it (probably) i just don't want to waste their money and I don't want to disappoint them they have sky high expectations and I fear that i am going to upset them

and Its really good to know that its normal to not know what your passion is
I was starting to feel I am the only passionless being here
Its very frustrating

and yes you are right may be..
but my parents they both wanted to become something else but instead they became something
and they love their life and all but sometimes i think if they have this regret or a desire
I cant really ask them they are not really the talkative type

I don't know I just don't want to have any regrets i guess...

Thanks a lot for inspiring me may be I'll learn soon to explore things and stop thinking about regrets
Running out of Time with each Tick-Tock....

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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by hopelesshope »

loona wynd wrote:I don't know if you are still looking for a direction or information or not but I did a reading for you any way. Your original post for me reminded me of a struggle I had several years ago as well in college. So I felt inspired to do a reading for you. I used one of my tarot decks. The deck I used is called the Witches Tarot.

This reading like all the others is going to take up two posts. The first post is the cards, their position, and their meaning. The second post is the interpretation of the reading. I do this to make the responses more manageable and easier to read on the forum.

Its my normal 6 card reading. The first card is you and how the spirits choose to show you in the reading. The second card is the element of earth and the foundation of the situation the reading is telling me about. The third card is the air card. This card is the forces in motion card. The fourth card is the fire card. This card is the passion card. It shows how your passions are effecting the situation. The fifth card is the water card. This card reveals and shows the emotional forces at hand. The sixth and final card is the card of the spirit and the conclusion of the reading at hand.

The first card I pulled to represent you was the 2 of Rods in reverse, This card in reverse deals with sadness, trouble, a loss of faith, and regression.

The second card is the foundation of the situation. This is the root as it were. The card here was the Valet of cups in reverse. This card here has meanings of deviation, being easily influenced, and temporary distractions.

The third card is the forces of change involved in the situation. The card here is the Fool. This is the first card in the Major Arcana. The Major Arcana is often referred to as "The Fools Journey" which when you look at the story they tell overall is fairly accurate. The Fool has many associations. They are beginning and adventure, passion, obsession, and trust of ones own intuition. The largest message of this card though is leaping forward without knowing all the details of the situation. You just jump and know that everything will be all right.

The fourth card is the passions that drive you. This card shows how your personal passions are influencing the situation at hand. The card here is the Valet of Batons. This card means being faithful and being loyal. The theme of this card is being a trusted friend. This trust makes you a good Emissary or Envoy the other two meanings of the card.

The fifth card is the emotional card. This is where your emotional state is having an impact and influence on your current situation. The card chosen here was the 8 of swords. This is a card of conflict. Crisis, criticism, and Imprisonment are also themes found in this card.

The sixth and final card is the spirit card and the conclusion card. The Card pulled here was the High Priestess. This is a very powerful positive card. The card speaks all about self confidence and control. Its a card of wisdom, sound judgement, and self reliance. There is strong intuition present in the meaning of this card was well as a sense of common sense and an ability to always learn.
Thank you so much ma'am
and Yes I am still looking for a direction especially now I am giving exams to have a scholarship to aid me with med school and if I don't get one I'd have to wait for another year to apply for scholarship again because My parents and I can't really afford tuition
and I feel like 1 year is a lot of time especially if I don't want to be a doctor but people here do it all the time and I guess I could do it too if I want to be a doc

and I don't really trust myself
its like most of the times whatever I ask for I get the opposite

and In my country their is no course like Liberal Studies but it seems like a good one especially for people who are unsure
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Re: my purpose? my passion? my life? Confused!

Post by loona wynd »

hopelesshope wrote:and In my country their is no course like Liberal Studies but it seems like a good one especially for people who are unsure
Maybe its under General Studies or called something else? Its basically a BA program that shows you have gone to college and have taken a bit of everything.

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