Atheist friend is sketchy on witchcraft/magick -advice?

[Jonjonsalinas_]

Hi everyone! I was kind of wondering if I could get some advice/input from people that might be in the same situation as me. So I really like this guy James, we've been on many dates and have been talking about officially dating for awhile now. A major thing for me is that my partner doesn't think that witchcraft and Wicca is a bunch of bull (why would I?). However, James is atheist and is a little sketchy about witchcraft and magick. I've tried explaining it to him on a scientifically level, but I can tell that some things he still doesn't understand. We try to talk about it as much as possible, but you can only do so much. Any advice or help?

Thank you!

[Xiao Rong]

I'm really glad your boyfriend is understanding. I've had some experience trying to explain my spirituality to atheists too, and it's kind of hard because of the skepticism and the need for scientific proof. Just to be clear, I often find that trying to use scientific explanations of magic and witchcraft makes things worse, not easier, since there are a lot of explanations for magic on the internet which are, frankly, based on bad science and bullcrap (steer clear of ANY theories of magic you find with "quantum physics" in it).

Honestly, I have not seen a single scientific theory that convinces me of the truth of magic, but I have seen a million things that have actually happened to convince me of the truth of magic (although, granted, I have some very expanded notions on what magic is). I would simply say that spiritual truths are just as real and valid as a lot of scientific truths, and there is no need to try to explain them with science (especially bad science). Pagan spirituality is better understood as metaphor, as the poetry and art that explains the world, not the equations. There are a lot of insights to be gained by understanding the world through intuition, not through scientific reasoning.

[Kassandra]

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James is atheist and is a little sketchy about witchcraft and magick...We try to talk about it as much as possible, but you can only do so much. Any advice or help?

In my opinion, you don't have any kind of "spiritual burden of proof" you have to provide to him, nor to anyone else you happen to be involved with in the future. On the contrary, I think you have a perfect right to believe whatever you choose to believe, with no apology nor "scientific explanation" needed ...screw that. I've seen many successful, "spiritually-mixed-partnerships" before, like a Catholic person married to a Jewish person for example. So, I believe anything's possible when two people respect each other. There has to be an underlying respect there, that's the key.

Perhaps, just say, "Hey, let's agree to disagree on this," and shake on it (make sure to get his buy-in, his agreement, or this "understanding" between the two of you will never stick). Then, let it go. If, later, he's still bothered by it and brings it up again (which he invariably will --atheists tend to get very "bothered" by people around them enjoying their own spiritual paths, for some odd reason, lol) just be sure to remind him, "Hey, I thought we agreed to disagree on that, babe." Don't get tricked into bickering about whose belief system is right or wrong. Just stick to focusing on honoring the agreement between the two of you, and if need by, nicely call him on breaking it if he does. That should shut that down.

Men tend to keep their word; boys tend not to...if he doesn't respect you enough to keep his word to you on this, well, you'll know which one you're truly dealing with, here. If he or anyone else tries to force you to choose between being with him, and being true to your spirituality, if I were you I'd just sincerely smile and say, "You know, I love ya' and everything, I really do...but, um...don't let the door hit your willy pepper on the way out, sweetie."

...steer clear of ANY theories of magic you find with "quantum physics" in it.

Haha, I'll have to watch out for that.

Pagan spirituality is better understood as metaphor, as the poetry and art that explains the world, not the equations. There are a lot of insights to be gained by understanding the world through intuition, not through scientific reasoning.

Nice.



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[Jonjonsalinas_]

Lol Kassandra and your willy peppers!! :p thank you both for the advice, Xiao also.

[Soni]

The thing is, there's nothing to understand. I started out being an atheist as well... and it's true, I don't believe in a personalized gods. But being a scientist I can't help but to see that there's a mysterious energy in everything around us and that's what makes everything grow... and so I became a dualist and use gods and godesses as a personification of those energies just so it's easier for me to relate to them.

But what I meant by saying that there's nothing to understand... there really isn't. Wicca is like any other religious path and if a person has a different one, they'll not understand yours. Therefore there's no point in expecting that from them, you just have to accept it. You accept the fact that he's atheist and doesn't believe in magic, yes? If so, he should accept that you believe in it and don't question it.

[TheGirlOfSecrets]

If you are just starting down the Wiccan path or just beginning to let people know that you are Wiccan, it can be an interesting situation. Probably one of the most important and calming things you can do is to inform a curious person that Wicca and Satanism have absolutely nothing to do with each other. There are those that believe that Wiccans are constantly putting hexes on people and casting evil spells. Some believe that all Wiccan rituals include sexual acts by the participants. While the mere mention of the word Wicca brings fear to some, it is very comforting to others. As was pointed out earlier, it is much easier to explain what Wicca is not, than what it is.

Remain calm. Try your best to explain what Wicca is but don't let yourself be put on the defensive. Remember that some people are NOT open minded and nothing you can say will change this. Never get into an argument with anyone about religion.

Just some tips, I am wishing you well:)

[Echo_of_shadows]

The "agree to disagree" path will probably be your easiest path. You two can talk about beliefs more if you agree to do it in a respectful manner, but if neither of you shows any further interest in it, then just let it lie. Acceptance and belief don't have to go hand in hand. If he doesn't bully you or put you down for what you believe in, then surely you two can overlook this and enjoy an otherwise great friendship. If you two can't talk about religious beliefs without involving Jerry Springer, you may want to reassess your friendship.