How do you tell your mother something.....

[Riyoki24]

How do you tell your mother, she's spoiling her grandchild to the point it's making the grandchild become a brat. Or better yet a spoiled brat. Even when you have limited resources to buy said spoiled child whatever she wants. Even after Christmas.

It's really bad that my dad gave up on telling his own wife. She spoiling the child rotten. The child all she has to do is whine 'Grandma!' scream, whine, throw tantrums. And my mom goes out of her way after my dad tells my niece now. That's not how you get you way.

It's really annoying. And it doesn't teach my niece proper behavior.

[Zili]

are you the niece's legal guardian? If not I'm afraid you may not be able to sway your mother. It will have to come from the niece's parents to your mother they don't have to completely come out and say "you are spoiling her stop buying things" but they can ask her to cut back or check with them first before she goes out to buy something else.

[Firebird]

Hummm, I don't know if you can tell her. Grandparents live to spoil the grandchildren (in many cases). I have heard grandparents say, "oh I can spoil them rotten, then send 'em back to their parents!" If we are going to be the village that raises a child, that kind of attitude obviously does not work. Unfortunately many folks are not of the "village" mind and we cannot do anything to change their behaviors. We can, however, teach by example...also... You might want to suggest to your mother that the child will not be able to learn the lessons she needs in life if everything is given to her, but it sounds like Dad has been there ...done that. It kinda boils down to,... she is gonna do what she is gonna do. Try to appeal to the child, and maybe tell them grandma doesn't know how to say no, and she is spending money she shouldn't. I don't know ...is that manipulative? I wish you the best Riyoki, this is a hard situation.
Blessings, Firebird

[Riyoki24]

I think it more grandma spoiling kid rotten. My grandma does it w/ all her grand kids and great grand kids. But w/ in reason and limitation. Since the family has grown a lot.

But yes, my mom spends too much money in general. She has trouble being frugal or not so much as an impulsive buyer. Winter Holidays are well the most expensive holidays in general.

[SnowCat]

Refraining from spoiling grandkids is nigh on impossible. My finances have forced me to re-examine and rein in where the grankids are concerned. I try to keep the holiday and birthday spending for them reasonable and I try to buy useful stuff. My oldest granddaughter still has a crappy attitude when it comes to what she gets. It's just who she is. She's 8, so maybe she'll grow out of it. But saying no, when they turn on the "grandkid charm," is really tough.

Frosty

[Riyoki24]

I'm not so great w/ spoiled Aunt(Titi) here. If I don't have the funds I kinda send her to Grandma or her mom.

But I did come up with a way for her to make wish lists for birthdays and holidays. And I give her a limit on how much I could spend as a maximum. So she can list what she wants w/ in reason. For Titi.

Plus, www.amazon.com has sweet deals online all the time.