I did soul searching...

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Sakura Blossom
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I did soul searching...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

And while I don't believe this really fits under LGBT, it's similar enough that I figured sharing here would be best.

For a long time I've never been into "the deed" or the male form in general, even though I'm straight. I never thought of kissing as attractive or something I wanted to really do - I was more so into the romance aspect of it.

Many of my friends and people I know right now are talking about their experiences with doing the 'deed' and the entire time I'm just like 'ewwww, cooties'.

Well, back in high school three years ago I had wondered if I might be asexual but it didn't make sense because I was still attracted to others so I just let that idea go. Last night a dear friend of mine did a tarot reading for a different topic and for some reason it led me back to thinking about this again.

I started researching into the idea a bit more and came across the wonderful forum called Aven that has a great FAQ about different terms and ways that people have reported they can be. Reading through that FAQ, I found myself on that list. I found that I am more than likely demisexual (for those who do not know what that means, it means you are not interested in the 'deed' unless you form a deep bond with someone) but also Gray-A which means the gray area between the two, from what I found.

I'm still having a little problem with accepting this myself and thankfully I have a very good friend who supported me with this and talking with her about it, which she actually said she 'called it'. Haha. And my family is very supportive too, as I have siblings who are asexual and pansexual. Of course, with the stigma surrounding all of this I'm very nervous discussing this topic and was very nervous talking to my mother about it today. We've always had a very open relationship and today I finally told her how I feel about certain things which she was very accepting of.

It's just daunting now, to me I guess, because a majority of people tend to like the 'deed' in their relationships and I'm wondering if it's going to be harder now to find someone for me because I'm not interested in that.

I am very happy, however, that I discovered this about myself because I think it's a very important discovery despite how strange it feels to think about it or talk about it. I just needed to share and get it a bit off my chest as I am starting to feel a bit more comfortable with this.
"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams." - Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

If you need any help with anything, don't hesitate to ask!
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Tiddlyfisher
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Post by Tiddlyfisher »

This is very much a LGBT topic, don't feel invalidated just because it doesn't fall under "LGBT" itself.

Personally, I prefer the term DSG which stands for Diverse Sexuality and Gender.

I have a few demisexual, gray-A, and asexual friends. It's not as easy for them because not everyone understands, since typically people never take the time to research these things, but since you have a great support system, I imagine you'll do just fine!

I hope the best for you.
"Nothing is so good that somebody somewhere will not hate it."
—Frederick Pohl
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Sakura Blossom
Posts: 2612
Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:29 am
Gender: Female
Location: USA, Midwest

Re: I did soul searching...

Post by Sakura Blossom »

Thank you! I have a lot of understanding friends and family so I have a very nice support system. (: I'm very glad I do because I know the same cannot be said for some. I appreciate your reply! It's difficult to talk about this.
"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams." - Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

If you need any help with anything, don't hesitate to ask!
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