straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

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valerian moon
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straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by valerian moon »

My grandfather (he has dementia) sometimes goes off on a tangent about gays (going sp far as to tell me that I'm going to get STDs from having gay sex because I told him I'm getting legally emancipated.....)
and he says gays are promiscuous. He says it so often that I feel like throwing something every time I hear that word.
but then he says straight people are also promiscuous but I know he's only saying that so I can't say anything about his rants... And its insulting to people like me who actually believe that gay people really aren't all that different from straight people. And I mean, this would be offensive even if I wasn't in a relationship with the same girl for three years (that's a long time in teenager land, considering I was barely 14 when we started dating.)
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Re: straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by Firebird »

Dementia and Alzheimers are terrible diseases, I know how hard it is to listen to stuff that makes no sense or is hurtful, but it sounds like you are doing all you can. He isn't understanding the full impact of his words, and you really can't help him with that. Bless you dear, hang in there...pretty sure he doesn't want to feel that way.
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Re: straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by Heartsong »

I know where you're coming from. I have a grandfather who is abusive on every level imaginable, has dementia, and runs me and my mother down as often as he can. It's hard to feel anything except negativity in those kinds of situations. Is he really talking or is it the dementia? Do you really think this way about me, the disease allowing you to speak your true thoughts, or not? I ask myself these questions all the time, I have for years, and I still don't have any answers.

Stay positive and avoid confrontation if you can. In my experience, it only escalates when you flare back at them. Getting yourself away from his negative influence in your life is a good step, I think, and I agree with FF, you're doing all you can to disentangle yourself. You have support and acceptance here, so take heart!
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valerian moon
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Re: straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by valerian moon »

Heartsong wrote:Is he really talking or is it the dementia? Do you really think this way about me, the disease allowing you to speak your true thoughts, or not?!
I know that EXACT feeling.
I don't know if he actually legitimately thinks the president is a Muslim Atheist Communist Hitler Supreme (I mean, those are contradictory words?) or if he's just messing everything up.

he's been telling me I'm wrong for six years and by now, politics is the only thing I'm sure of.
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Re: straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by miachrhys »

Just because your grandfather isn't doing it in the correct way doesn't mean he isn't trying to help you out and keep you safe. Some people tend to speak more to the negative aspects of things. Just tell him that you're well aware of the risks and that all you can do is be safe, protect yourself, and find someone that you truly care about. If necessary, also tell him that while you may not be an adult yet, you are smart enough to determine there are good behaviors and risky behaviors and willing to follow your heart.
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Re: straight people do it too...... but mostly gays

Post by SapphireRoad »

valerian moon wrote: Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:57 pm And its insulting to people like me who actually believe that gay people really aren't all that different from straight people.
Yeah, I guess.
Gay people approach me the way I used to approach women - look at me, walk in circles a few metres around and then return and say hello. The way they do it one can instantly know the thing is about flirting.

I don't understand though, why gay people try to convince me gayness would be good for me.
... I don't think there would be any lesbian woman so attractive that I'd be chasing her forever as heterosexual... lol.
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