How was it for you?

Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender discussion and questions.
windkeeper

Post by windkeeper »

I wouldn't really call it coming out as I never hid who I was but I never went around telling everyone either. Personally I don't feel the need to come out. Straight people dont have to tell everyone they are straight so why should I have to discuss my feelings toward someone with everyone I know? *I'm not bashing the idea of coming out or hiding in the first place at all. I know not everyone feels the way I do and I think for everyone like that coming out is a great idea*

I did tell my mom but it was just because she started a voncersation on homosexuality and she had only met boyfriends. I just slipped it into the conversation. she was uncomfortable and we never talked about it again lol. She's a hardcore christian and anything against what the bible says is "evil" and makes her very uncomfortable
Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

I understand what you're saying windcheater. Some people do seem to make an awful lot of fuss about coming out.
Like you say, straight people don't have to make a big announcement.

However, when it comes to close family it is better to tell them yourself rather than them finding out some other way.
gaiaraain

mostly out

Post by gaiaraain »

I have not come out to my family yet (my great aunt and her children - my cousins - know, but no one else in my family knows). I don't have a relationship with my parents or siblings for good reason. I don't really care if they know or not, but I'm not about to call them up just to tell them I realized I'm gay. :lol:

I came out to my ex husband, my close friends, and a few others who it would be relevant information for. Other than that, I don't see the need to pull folks aside and tell them. I don't hide it, so if it comes up, I'll tell them. I'm pretty open about it in public (I have my gf listed on my facebook page, we kiss and hold hands in public, etc.).

I've been very lucky...or maybe I set it up this way, I'm not sure yet (kind of a chicken or egg argument, I guess). I didn't even realize I was a lesbian until a few months ago...and right now, everyone in my life is accepting and wonderful. So, it could be that I couldn't accept MYSELF until I was surrounded by people who would accept me...or it could be that I was just ready to come to terms with myself, and it just happened to come about at a time when I was surrounded by loving, accepting people. Either way, it has been a nonissue...mostly.

My bff (a fundamentalist Christian) had to get used to it...but I was pleasantly surprised. I was afraid of how she would take it. I can usually tell how she feels about something by the way her daughter talks to me. Kids have no filters, you know. :wink: Her daughter has never actually said anything bad to me about sexuality...but she does pop off with some pretty negative stuff about Paganism (which REALLY irks me...I've been Pagan longer than my bff's daughter has even been alive...you'd think she'd censor what she says a little bit...but whatever). Anyway, I visited my bff a few days ago, and her daughter was looking over my shoulder while I was im'ing with my gf, and when I told her who she was, she didn't even have a reaction. It was pretty nifty. She probably didn't understand what I was saying, but that's better than one of her rants that she tends to go on when she thinks someone is doing something bad. So, I'm a happy camper. Plus, my bff talks to me about my gf the same way she did when I was with men. She got used to it really fast. :D
Godsmack
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Post by Godsmack »

I came out about 3 years ago, somewhere around there. It was my sophomore year. Looking back on my life, I realize that I was always kind of aware that I was gay, but not really, lol. It was until 9th grade that I was like...... I'm gay! Lol. Well..... I kind of new what would happen. My mother studies with the Jehovah's Witnesses and my father was another form of Christian. My mother went nuts and had an anxiety attack... I couldn't sleep that night at all, no matter how I tried... I got over that, but our relationship just completely deteriorated after that. I stopped talking to her and I developed a grudge towards her. She ended up getting drunk and verbally abusing me on two occasions. She threatened she'd commit suicide. So... I was pretty depressed for a while, lol. I finally got over it. It was around the time I got into Wicca. I feel great now! I know that my mother will never accept me, but at least my dad is okay with it. :) I'm moving out with my boyfriend this week, so its all good. Lol. :D
Greymalkin
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Post by Greymalkin »

Being gay AND wiccan.

Wow! You really know how to please a Jehhovah's Witness mother don't you? LOL!

Good for you. Do your own thing.

:D
Godsmack
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:43 am

Post by Godsmack »

Lmao. I know, right? Yeah, its just crazy with her, lol. Thank you. :)

Love and Light,

Blessed Be.
Sallydreams
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Post by Sallydreams »

I've been engaged to two different males in my life. Most girls plan for their one engagement since prepuberty years.

Me... I had guys whenever I wanted. (Not to sound cocky... I live in a small town... it's not like there are tons of choices. lol!) But they never mattered to me. At all.

I always convinced myself that I liked them. Both of the men I was engaged to, I felt like we got engaged because it was "about that time" in the relationship.

Either way... when it got right down to the "Let's plan this thing" I realized I had no love for them at all.

I felt completely distraught. It felt like I was incapable of loving.

Near the end of my last engagement I had a dream, that I had moved back home and was working at a hardware store and dating a female. That's all I had gathered from the dream. I woke up very confused and told my fiance at the time. He laughed and said he'd always thought I was a lesbian.....

I moved home and had two substantal relationships with males, but they both fizzled out at the peak of their love for me and me realizing that I just didn't love them the way they loved me and it wasn't fair.

This is when the dream comes into play. I get laid off from both the jobs I had (I had two jobs at once) within a month. I applied everywhere in town... and a hardware store hired me.... it was the ONLY job that called me back out of the dozen I applied for. I get hired, go through the hiring process... my first day "on the floor" I saw her... I was starstruck.

That second I knew I had to come out. I faught with it for a month or two but looking back on my youth... I've always been gay. I just live in a very christian, SMALL, redneck community.

It was bad enough that I'm a yoga attending wiccan that trained her voice to get rid of any hint of an accent... but gay? No, my parents couldn't handle gay.

After I had been involved with the girl from the hardware store, my coworker, for a couple of months... I decided it was time. This was something major. I am in love with this girl, she's wonderful, smart, funny, and I want her to meet my family... but I still wasn't ready to come out.

My sister actually snooped me on myspace and called me really angry one day because she had figured it out.

Livid. She was livid.

I meet up with my sister and she basically emotionally backhands me and says, "Either you tell mom, or I will. Do it tonight."

So... I drive up to my mom's house at 8pm to tell her I'm gay.

She tells me I'm dead to her, I've commited suicide... being gay is such a hard life, how dare I CHOOSE to be gay. Just... horrible things.

Needless to say I don't talk to my family anymore... and they don't talk to me.
WolfWitch
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Post by WolfWitch »

I loved your story. It would seem that fate and the Gods/Goddesses Shined a fairly bright light on the path for you so you wouldn't get lost.

I will pray for your family to see that light too.

I hope you and your lovely lady have many years together in quiet peace.

I hope I can be there oneday myself.
The greatest advice I was ever given: It matters not what you believe. Only that you believe it wholeheartedly.
Godsmack
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:43 am

Post by Godsmack »

Wow... that was a really interesting story. It was great.... except for the family thing. :( If only people were more open and accepting... Sounds like you're a bit of a clairvoyant, to me. I'm guessing that dream was a vision. I wish you the best; I hope things turn out great for you. :)

Love and Light,

Blessed Be.
Rosewitch

Re: How was it for you?

Post by Rosewitch »

Well people have always kinda known with me im a bi girl and my parents atill dont know just because they have never asked i know they are very shure i am though and just feel awkward about asking
EyeOfIsis

Re: How was it for you?

Post by EyeOfIsis »

I came out when I was in the 7th grade as "bi". I had just moved to this small town from the city because my mom's husband wanted to be closer to his family. Hick does not even begin to describe it. I mean stereotypical Iowa farm town. Needless to say, I hated it there. I told my two "friends" that i was bisexual. It had not even been 30 minutes and the entire school knew. For the rest of that year my life was pretty much torture. I got called names, pushed down stairs, beaten up etc and all the faculty just turned a blind eye. It cultimated when a kid on my bus went home and asked his mom what "gay" meant. She flew into a rage and called my principal. My principal pulled me into my office and FORCED me to call my mom and tell her. I was terrified. Luckily, I have the greatest mom in the entire world. She told me it was okay and asked to speak with the principal. I couldn't make out any words, but I heard a lot of screaming coming from the phone and my principal looking scared shitless :) After 7th grade ended, my mom divorced her husband and we moved back to the city (yes we have very metropolitan areas in Iowa). Ever since then, I've had relatively little problems. I think it's mainly because I have a large amount of confidence in the fact that my sexuality is not wrong or sinful, and that I deserve the same rights as everyone else :)
Victoria Mnemosyne
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Re: How was it for you?

Post by Victoria Mnemosyne »

I haven't come out as bi officially. I never told my family.
I always had crushes on girls just as much as men.. I've always felt a little more masculine in attitude than many girls. Actually, I had this incredibly painful on and off relationship with a boy i was desperately in love with. I was 17 and he was 16... suffice to say it was a disaster. But one night we snuck out of our houses to walk around together (2, 3am?) I forget what we were talking about and he just said to me like it was the easiest thing in the world, "I think you're definitely bi. Not just because you've hooked up with girls, but because you don't do it to show off for guys like other girls do. I think you just like them."

And I was like.. "Yeah. Yeah I guess I am."

A year later I just sorta put on my facebook, Interested in women and men.

So that's it :wink:
Ember Nightwolf
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Re: How was it for you?

Post by Ember Nightwolf »

That's awful, Isis! (well the middle bit is). I've told a couple of close friends, and i was about to come out to everyone when I told my mum. Basically, she thinks I'm "going through a phase" (which i know im not), and she keeps trying to "cure" me. She made me swear not to tell anyone, because she reccons i'll be "ostricised from society" etc etc etc. She doesnt get it that saying things like homosexuality is unnatural and wrong and all that is hurtful, even though ive tried telling her. I think my schools pretty okay with gays,lesbians and bi's, but nobody in my year is out (yet). i think i want to comeout anyway, but i'm really scared.
There are three sides to a coin.
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