Grey wolf and Black wolf

Discussion about spirit guides, angels, guardian spirits, and the like.
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Absinthe
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Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by Absinthe »

I need some help figuring out a dream I had about 4 days ago.
I dreamed I was sitting cross legged on the ground, two wolf cubs approached me. One grey and one black.
I felt connected to both the wolfs, more so the black one. I picked up the black one first and then the grey wolf.

Later in the dream, my step mother(who hates me) appeared with two chicken legs on a plate for the wolfs.
I knew she was trying to trick them and kill them, that there was poison on the meat.
I fought her off again(she attacked me last year december, she's always hated me for being who I am, because I never gave in and became a brain washed fool like everyone else)
I was left with cuts and bruises, she attacked me and my father stood by watching, never saying a word. I was betrayed by the man who helped create me who was supposed to protect me, I told him that, he said I am not anything to him. She called me a lesbian witch as they left and told me I'm going to rot in hell.
All because I stopped taking their their rubbish and stood up for myself, also I came out as pagan and that I'm bi. Two things out the closet almost at the same time.

Its a long messed up story and not one to tell right now in detail, so in brief, long story short, she's the wicked step mother always has been. She tried to destroy everything about me. She is heavy christian, used to beat me with a whip for not going to church etc.
She has everyone blinded and wrapped around her finger. And hates me.

Since she attacked me I've had many dreams re living the event and every time we fight and again I win but I lose my father and brother, they wouldn't even give me the chance to talk to them and tell them my side. I'm dead to them. And it feels like they died too in a sense.
Also I'm trying to get my mind to forget everything even that they exist(unfortunately, I still think about it and it still hurts, it hurts so bad that I don't want to think about it so I push it into the depths of my mind)
Its like my whole life from the day I was born to the day I ran away was a lie, and then they re entered my life to cause chaos because they hated that I was happy, that I have my fiance and beautiful baby girl.
Because despite what they said, I turned out good, I grew up and got out of that place.
I remember counting the years till I turned 17, I was waiting all that time to escape.
And I did it, with just the clothes on my back and a red suitcase filled with stuff that made no sense in my hurry to pack myself up and run.


So okay, back to the dream, this time there were the two wolfs and she wanted to destroy them.

Are they my spirit guides? I feel like they are that and more. Like they are also me? They are my yin and yang?
Like they represent that she was trying to destroy everything I am.

Why cubs though?

Again in the dream I tried to tell my father what she had done but I was told I am nothing, not his daughter(he told me that after she beat me and after I revealed the truth about her knowing about her son molesting me from the age of 12 to 17, I ran away from home because of the things they did to me.
I didn't exist, only as a scape goat and to be the black sheep.
My father, his wife and my real mother were all abusive towards me and my siblings. 4 of us there were.
3 ran away from home.
It wasn't just physical, it was verbal and mental to.

I had been pushed so low that I believed them when they said I was nothing, that I was stupid and would fail everything, that I was a drop out and that I was slow and couldn't do anything, I wasn't good at anything.

Well turns out they lied and I'm not lazy stupid or bad at everything.

I've found out I'm even good at working on cars and was told I should get an apprenticeship fixing cars.
I'm good at art and music can sing. I'm even good at shooting a gun and hitting the target every time and I've never shot a gun in my life, I'm even good at driving and racing. I learn things really fast.

And turns out I'm a good mother too.
And a good friend and fiance.

So now I hold the family I created close and I've left the family I came from behind forever. I stopped believing the lies and all I want is the truth, to be around good friends and family and just live my life my way.
Cause we all got to die someday and I'd rather go knowing I did it my way, believed in what I felt to be true and loved who I chose to love.

Right now I feel like the wolf is a perfect match for this stage in my life. But why two wolfs and not one? Why cubs? Why grey and one black? What does this mean?

And to whomever reads my ramblings thank you for taking the time, it is very long.

Blessed be.
“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, If you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”― Rumi
Vesca
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Re: Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by Vesca »

I’m going to start out with the wolf’s symbolism before getting into the dream aspects, so bear with me.

Wolves are associated with a variety of symbolism, but a few make more sense to me in this situation than others. So I’ll emphasize on those.

Wolves are often associated with the moon and the night (in Celtic lore, the great wolf hunts and devours the sun at dusk to make way for the power of the moon); that is the subconscious and what internal ghosts it may hold, as well as personal instincts. Which makes sense in your description; that they’re coming to you at a time when your subconscious is bringing hurtful memories to your mind. Wolves also sometimes make themselves known when you are feeling vulnerable or threatened; sometimes by current events or sometimes by things associated with past events, particular events that carry some sort of “predatory” or “hunted” feel to it. They can be a reminder to take stock of your social surroundings and to pull back from unhealthy situations, or to create and/or strengthen your personal boundaries when it comes to other people who have a negative influence on you.

It seems that the wolves are telling you to trust in your own instincts to get through this, and that it’s time to start healing from your past. Easier said than done, I know all too well the chronic trauma that familial abuse can bring. I doubt they’re saying “time to fix all of this right now,” but I do think they’re making you aware that you can begin to start allowing yourself to toe around the topic and start to take back that part of your Self. Wolves are very smart, very loyal, and they represent the strength to live freely, to be yourself and thrive.

As for the colors: Black is often associated with the subconscious, the mystery, and the infinite (think the void in the universal space). Grey I associate with the stillness of the “in between” (between light and dark). It is consistency, elegance, stability, calm, relief, and balancing both within and without but altogether occupying its own space and purpose. Combined, perhaps they offer the stability to begin the work with your subconscious.

Why cubs? Perhaps you are at the beginning of this journey, and they will grow as you grow.


It might be of great benefit to you to begin working with these totems to begin your healing.


Disclaimer: While this is what I’m getting from your description, I am by no means a licensed therapist when it comes to psychological treatment. I would really recommend seeking out someone professional to talk to on top of working with your totems if you are really interested in beginning this kind of healing (if indeed that’s what the dream seems to be indicating to you too). Having a professional to help you recover in these situations is important, and you’re worth the dedication of time and energy to heal both your mind and your spirit.
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Re: Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by essenceofbodhi »

OM AH HUM VAJRA GURU PADMA SIDDHI HUM

"If this mantra is recited a hundred times a day, merely a hundred times a day without interruption, one will become attractive to others and will effortlessly come by food and wealth and the necessities of life.

If one recites it a thousand or ten thousand times on a daily basis, one is able to literally overwhelm others with one's brilliance, in the sense of becoming very charismatic and influential in exerting a positive influence over others, and one will gain unhindered force of blessings and spiritual power.

If one repeats it a hundred thousand or a million times on a regular basis one will become capable of effecting an immeasurably great benefit for beings, exactly as one would wish to.

If one recites the mantra three or seven million times, one is never separate from the buddhas of the three times and one becomes inseparable from me. All the gods and demons of existence will attend to one and offer their praises.

In the most excellent cases, individuals will attain the rainbow body, and the final level of attainment in this lifetime. On a more middling level, at the moment of death, the mother and child aspects of radiant luminosity will meet. At the very least, individuals will behold my face in the bardo state and all the appearances of the bardo state will be free in their own ground such that these individuals will be reborn on the continent of Ngayab and from that vantage point, be able to accomplish an immeasurable amount of
benefit to beings." Thus the Guru replied to Yeshe Tsogyal.
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Re: Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by Firebird »

dear essenceofbodhi...I'm sorry but I fail to see how this post pertains to the OP's question. We would love to hear more, perhaps an introduction and a new thread on the subject? Thanks
Firebird
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Re: Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by SnowCat »

I think the cubs may be spirit guides somewhat along the lines of Clarence in It's A Wonderful Life. You seem to have actually gotten to a decent place in your life. That took courage, wisdom and growth. It's possible that you and the cubs are spirit guides for each other. You may need to look within yourself for the significance of the colors.

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Absinthe
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Re: Grey wolf and Black wolf

Post by Absinthe »

Sorry its been so long since I replied!!
Update on the wolfs, the black one appeared in a strange morbid dark dream I had a little while back but fully grown into a beautiful monstrous giant wolf that leaped over me. I was fighting some creature in the dream and the wolf was in front of me and leaped over, like I was being protected from something I couldn't see. I won against the creature in the dream.
Since then I see the black wolf often in my dreams, no longer a cub. I wonder where the grey wolf is and when it will return. I feel that the wolfs are my spirit guides at this point in my life.

Thank you again to everyone who's taken the time to reply to the original post! Its much appreciated!
“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, If you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”― Rumi
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