Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

If you'd like to have your own blog here, start yourself a thread. Use your member name somewhere in the title so people will know who you are. The blogs here should be mostly about your spiritual path and beliefs.
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Nova13
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:58 am
Gender: Female
Location: in the mountains

Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by Nova13 »

NOVA GOES BOOM
Nova13 BLOG

Oh, where to start.
I grew up in a "christian" home. My mother is a Catholic and wonderful and my dad was nothing and sucked. He used church as a way to climb the corporate ladder. He sent us to whatever church his boss went to, I was sent to whatever school his boss's kids went to. He also wouldn't let my mom take us to a Catholic church or teach us Catholicism in general. My mom did her best to teach us her religion but my dad was too controlling so she taught us basic theology instead. Her family is from Greece so we did a lot of projects and crafts and story time with Greek Mythology. Even today the Greek stories and Gods make me feel at home, before everything got incredibly crappy.

My dad was bad. He wasn't often physically abusive but the emotional terrorism was extreme. When I was 13 I started studying witchcraft with great caution. I had some natural born gifts, I saw things. I've grown out of it now. My mom said that's what happens in our family, to her and her mother. I think it has something to do with hormones. But I knew that this was something to be careful with.

My parents were getting a divorce (thank gods) when I was "coming out of the broom closet" for me it was stress on top of stress. I was also dating a very abusive boy. You know how they say a girl ends up with a man just like her daddy. Yeah. I had recently joined a women-only-teaching coven. I don't see or even speak to them anymore but by all gods, they were/all wonderful women and that was a wondrous experience. The coven faded as some of the older members, the leaders began to move into different parts of their lives. It was a sad thing to see a coven split like that. They still meet up a few times a year, but it's not the same.

Well, fast forward to 21. I was in a bad way, that abusive guy had dumped me (HE DUMPED ME?! whatever-) and I had nowhere to go. Somehow my best friend from high school found me, moved me into his place and took care of me. He got me off some hard drugs and paid for me to go to therapy, he's pretty wonderful. :) Here's where it gets weird. We started dating and his parents and family, who I'd known since before I could drive, were so nice and inclusive. They involved me in every family event in outing. I became very close to the youngest daughter. She was playing in my room and for some reason got into the closet. I had stacks of books with witchy titles. Well that was the end of that. She told her mother and from then on I wasn't allowed to be alone with any of the younger siblings. They started wanting to talk to me about god and how I need jesus.

Then we got married. Oh, that was a thing. We just went downtown, no little chapel, no big dress. His family was so upset. My mom couldn't have been happier. Oh, did I mention that his father was a pastor and his mother was a Sunday school teacher? Oh yeah. It's like a movie or a cheesy day time soap. Eventually his father told him he should leave me and if he didn't the family would preform an exorcism on him.

After that we didn't have much to do with them other than my husband working in the family business. Last year we found out we were pregnant. We'd been trying for so long. We're the kind of people who like to prepare, so we tried to use the pregnancy as a way to smooth things over with his family. A new life, a new start. We moved in with his parents to save money for the, now babies and to heal things. We miscarried, and here we are, in the present. You're all caught up. We're stilling living with his family to pay off all that medical debt as fast as possible. We're trying to get pregnant again. We're moving on.
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SnowCat
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Re: Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by SnowCat »

You've been through the wringer for sure. Stay true to yourself.

Snow
Daughter of Sekhmet
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Becks
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Location: Vancouver Island

Re: Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by Becks »

I'm glad you have each other. I hope you take good care.
Nova13
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:58 am
Gender: Female
Location: in the mountains

Re: Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by Nova13 »

Thank you both.

I'm very into finding my own path right now. I've been doing a lot writing. :)
Nova13
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:58 am
Gender: Female
Location: in the mountains

Re: Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by Nova13 »

Oh my goodness! I have been so sick! Apparently this year's new flu is the "60 Day Flu" and I think that's ridicules. Got a few weeks left. Blegh.
Nova13
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:58 am
Gender: Female
Location: in the mountains

Re: Nova Goes Boom {BLOG}

Post by Nova13 »

(I think I'm going to use this personal blog for prayer/vent/processing - is that ok?)

Oh my goodness. (VENTING- BEWARE)
I had my mom over for lunch today, she was telling me about my brother's baby mama. They all live together, including her first kid, who is not my brother's. She's still very young, just 20 I think so I try to give her a little slack but ... :x

She spends ALL of her time smoking pot and posting stupid stuff on facebook, like "NO OTHER B**** WILL TOUCH MY MAN!" and things about how hard it is to take care of her two boys but she loves them so much.

The really sad thing is, she doesn't. She doesn't take care of those boys, my mom and brother do. We don't have anyone in our family (other than my dad who no one talks to- except this girl: WEIRD!) that's like that. A person who says they do this but doesn't. Someone who cries and cries about how hard things are and does nothing to try to make it better, someone who lies about family things. My whole family, or should I say what's left of my family, we don't know how to deal with that.

The way she complains about her kids, kills me. Since I just had a miscarriage.... I mean, I would happily give up sleep or personal time for a child. And she complains to me, to everyone about them.

I hate getting so pulled into someone else's problems. I am not a bystander. I can't care about something and let it hurt and do nothing. This situation has been very complicated and difficult from the beginning.

Lord and Lady, stable God and nurturing Goddess, bring me balance and compassion. Compassion for others and compassion for myself. Lord, give me strength to stand on my own feet, independent from this problem. Lady of love, fill me with your goodness so that I might be kind and useful. Gods let me known the difference.

Blessed Be
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