Holda 's notes

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Holdasown
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Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

So I am posting an update on one of things I was going to focus on: my animal fetch. I had seen a cat before in mediation but it was confirmed Thursday. It's not just a cat but an Ocelot. Not sure why but it was specific. Got a name for her even. So hopefully I will be working with her to improve my mediation and maybe get moving on another plane. Want to say it's the first time I have ever made a compass and used it. It was energy intense and I went into mediation almost immediately. So I will be perfecting that as well. I can't set up a permanent one right now but will figure that out as summer moves on I think. Great full moon this month, even with my stupid kidney stone.
Holdasown
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

The second time I called out for my guide it was much easier. Some interesting symbolical things going on. Going to have to work some stuff out to move to the next level but at least I am getting somewhere.
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

Ok so I have a question I hope someone here can help with. I have had something come up twice now when meditating on my ancestors. I keep seeing a Native American girl in what I could call a communion dress. I think she was from an affair my great grandmother's father had when they lived in Kansas. Does anyone know where to start when trying to find a child who was Native being in an orphanage? I hate to ask family anything since one I might be wrong and two it would have been secret.
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Xiao Rong
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Xiao Rong »

Huh! Maybe you should try getting a reading from someone? I'd be happy to draw a few cards for you if you like over PM.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

I sent you a pm. Thanks
Holdasown
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

It's been a long Summer/Fall. I have has some really cool things go on. I have been working pretty well with my animal fetch and I have finally had the third eye open. My mediations when I get to them are productive. When stuck I just call on my fetch and she is very helpful. But my daily practice has stopped and I am super stressed. I have avoided being online as a way of helping but it hasn't. Lots of really stressful things at home in my marriage and with our son who is autistic. He is making strides but has been a handful. I am hoping it's due to a coming breakthrough but it's hard while working through it. I have no time for self or any type of craft work and when I do it's so late at night I fall asleep. My ancestor and gods altars are not used and not holding energy anymore. I have to get back into something soon or I am afraid I will just stop and not do anything. Going to retool the altars . Move the ancestor altar and redesign my god altar. I worry so much about missing a god or not honoring someone I have too many on there and the ones I work with the most get a bit neglected. I have narrowed it down to Odin, Holda, Ullr and Thor. I have been trying to figure out how to incorporate more of the Vanir into the altar but it's too hard to everything gets muddled. I am going to work on doing a separate altar for the Vanir people some time near Yule or after when I get more relaxed. I am going to do a live tree this year and get some less Christmasy/Christian decorations and get some spiritual juices flowing.
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Xiao Rong
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hey Holda! Glad to hear from you again; we missed you! Sorry things have been stressful for you, though.
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Firebird »

Hi Holda! Good to see you...sorry things have been rough, I hope there is a breakthrough comming soon it must be such a challenge. I wonder, does the child like to go for walks? Perhaps the two of you can go on nature walkabouts, then you get some time in the natural world and maybe the child will be able to glean soof the special energy there....just my rambling thoughts.
The live tree sounds like a good idea for sparking some spiritual energy.
As far as feeling like you have been neglecting certain deities, I think they will understand, because as we travel through the spectrum of their light, there are times when we need certain things more and others less, and they are there to accomadate you through, not judge that you have not been attentive to all.
many blessings to you!
Firebird
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
― Jim Morrison
“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― RWEmerson
:mrgreen:
Holdasown
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

firebirdflys wrote:Hi Holda! Good to see you...sorry things have been rough, I hope there is a breakthrough comming soon it must be such a challenge. I wonder, does the child like to go for walks? Perhaps the two of you can go on nature walkabouts, then you get some time in the natural world and maybe the child will be able to glean soof the special energy there....just my rambling thoughts.
The live tree sounds like a good idea for sparking some spiritual energy.
As far as feeling like you have been neglecting certain deities, I think they will understand, because as we travel through the spectrum of their light, there are times when we need certain things more and others less, and they are there to accomadate you through, not judge that you have not been attentive to all.
many blessings to you!
Firebird
Thanks and yes he loves the outdoors. We have been camping, hiking, swimming and we do the indoor pool in winter. Very busy. The problem is when it rains or he is inside he gets into repetitive behaviors and it's stuff he gets in trouble for. My husband has no patience and with other things I have been considering a separation but at this point it hasn't happened due to money and honestly wanting to work something out. I am afraid it might not be fixable. So lots of stress and wanting to get through the holidays.
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

Xiao Rong wrote:Hey Holda! Glad to hear from you again; we missed you! Sorry things have been stressful for you, though.
Thanks.
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Re: Holda 's notes

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Holdasown wrote:Ok so I have a question I hope someone here can help with. I have had something come up twice now when meditating on my ancestors. I keep seeing a Native American girl in what I could call a communion dress. I think she was from an affair my great grandmother's father had when they lived in Kansas. Does anyone know where to start when trying to find a child who was Native being in an orphanage? I hate to ask family anything since one I might be wrong and two it would have been secret.
Finding Native American genealogy in general, seems to be difficult. You might have some luck looking first for orphanages that fit the time and area, then start trying to narrow things down to a person. If it was a Catholic facility, there may be some church records. I've been trying, for years, to track down my daughter's Cherokee ancestry. It's a headache and then some.

I hope your home situation improves. It's tough when you feel like you're being pounded from all sides.

Snow
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

SnowCat wrote:
Holdasown wrote:Ok so I have a question I hope someone here can help with. I have had something come up twice now when meditating on my ancestors. I keep seeing a Native American girl in what I could call a communion dress. I think she was from an affair my great grandmother's father had when they lived in Kansas. Does anyone know where to start when trying to find a child who was Native being in an orphanage? I hate to ask family anything since one I might be wrong and two it would have been secret.
Finding Native American genealogy in general, seems to be difficult. You might have some luck looking first for orphanages that fit the time and area, then start trying to narrow things down to a person. If it was a Catholic facility, there may be some church records. I've been trying, for years, to track down my daughter's Cherokee ancestry. It's a headache and then some.

I hope your home situation improves. It's tough when you feel like you're being pounded from all sides.

Snow
Yeah I have been combing the internet. It's pretty frustrating. Thanks for you kind words it should work itself out soon.
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Kassandra »

.

Good to see your posts, Holda. Have missed you.



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Holdasown
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

Kassandra wrote:.

Good to see your posts, Holda. Have missed you.



.
Thanks. :)
Holdasown
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Re: Holda 's notes

Post by Holdasown »

I took the week off to clean the house. Ceiling to floor. Got it all done but the bed and bathrooms. Doing those today. Getting a live tree tomorrow, haven't done that since 1990. Going to get some of those fill yourself bulbs from the craft store and do some of my own. Holle, luck, money drawing. Wodan and Ullr. I also got my wood for the Ullr hex sign to make his altar. I just need to mount some antlers with it once it's up to hold the gun. Hunting season for deer picks up again next weeks so I want to get it up and working at it. I am hoping for a nice deer hide to hang with the sign. We are cooking some of last years deer and a special meal with an offering once it's up. I will post picks when I am done. I was worried I would be too down for the holidays but we got a pass to the YMCA here and I have been swimming every day with the boy. A lot less stress for all of us. Turns out the hot tub relaxes him. A lot he is mellow for two hours after we get home. Which puts us at bed time. Been able to read to him and do some coloring and stuff since he will sit and work. Been doing better at school too. Might end up loosing some weight.
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