Dealing with difficult people

[dreadedpsychopomp]

Hey, everyone. I usually don't do this but I'm coming to my wit's end. Here is the situation I would like some help and guidance in dealing with.

I've had to move in with my dad and stepmother due to various reasons. At first, I was glad but over time there are issues coming up, as is pretty inevitable.

My stepmother bitches about my dad to me, then says she's protective of him. It's always something. If she'd known going into the relationship, she would have walked the other way. Blah, blah, blah. So I listen and I sympathize, even though it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want to be a therapist for whatever relationship problems they have, and my dad uses me the same way.

My dad is an alcoholic who just started working again. He talks about how he's such a patient man who doesn't want to control anyone but he is, in fact, a control freak. So there's always something wrong, and he blames everyone else. Everyone else has an attitude when he's being confrontational out of the blue. If we don't go along with whatever he thinks this time, we're talking badly to him. Point out that he's the one throwing around "attitude" and he's an innocent lamb who doesn't do anything at all. Everyone else has a problem. Earlier today, I was just on my phone, minding my own business, and he decided that I had an attitude. When I said nothing was wrong, how about him, he started whining and bitching. I was the bad guy.

This happens more often than I'd like, with both of them. They get in moods and I'm doing my own thing, so I am told to knock off the attitude. I don't have a bad attitude and say so but OH NO. THEY say I do, therefore no other possibility exists. Any defense of myself is greeted with being told to knock off the attitude and that I don't need to be defensive because no one is doing anything to me. According to them, I need counseling and perhaps they're right because I am done dealing with this crap. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

So... can anyone recommend any course of action, particularly spellwork, that I can take to deal with this? I've tried shielding and frankly, I'm starting to wonder if that's where everyone thinks this so called attitude is coming from.

[Lillady]

I am very sorry for your situation and have been in similar but as the spouse not the child/stepchild. Outside of spell work I highly recommend AlaTeen, AlAnon, etc. If you are not sure if they are in your area, you may pm me and I can find out for you. Parents who have their own problems tend to lash out at their children a lot. It is a sad deal but is true in a lot of cases. My thoughts and prayers and blessings are with you in that situation.

As far as actual spell work I would recommend a house cleansing spell for the negativity that seems to linger and be upon each person. A great one is here on the site here is the link to it: http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/s ... g_home.htm

Remember even if you are positive with everything else going on in your home it can be easy for the negative happenings of their feelings and relationship to have an effect on you. That is just typical to happen. I wish you all the luck my dear. Be sure to keep us updated if things tend to change. I am hoping for a positive outcome for you, your dad and stepmom. Blessed Be.

[dreadedpsychopomp]

Thanks, Lillady. I talked with my stepmother about it and we communicated some things out so I think we're OK. Good idea about the house cleansing. There have been a lot of intense emotions going on due to the nature of how we all arrived at this point so that's hopefully going to help. My mom was (I say was because she is no longer part of my life by her own choice) severely mentally ill so I should be used to it, I feel! I will look into AlAnon.

[Firebird]

Hi dreaded I would like to second what Lillady said. The group experience in a recovery program helps us to see we are not the only ones in this boat. Healing happens kinda by osmosis, I read an article some where about when an individual shares about what plagues him/her in a group setting, release happens, others can relate, the burden in their mind is lifted, and the healing begins. Some would caution about Al-anon as cult like, I say take it with a grain of salt, if you find you begin to feel better, then it may be working. Ways to set healthy boundaries are explored there, and slowly it becomes evident that one is unable to push the river, ....you either go down stream, or you get out.
I wish you well, step families are a challenge even under the best circumstances.
Blessings, Firebird