Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Talk, spells, rituals, and questions about the four elements.
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Xiao Rong
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Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Xiao Rong »

I often hear folks asking, "What is my element?" I think that's a great question ... to start with. It's a very easy question, and usually the answer comes to mind quite readily. Maybe you've always been drawn to the flickering flame of a candle, so you're Fire, or you were born a Cancer sign so you're water.

While it is indeed quite natural to feel more comfortable with one element than others, what’s never been quite clear to me is what kind of relationship is implied by the phrase “my element”. Is this the one that you “identify” with, or draw power from? Or does this mean that this particular element has “claimed” you, that you have loyalty to this one above others (which I suspect comes from how we talk about deities, a lot of the time)? Each element has its benevolent qualities and its destructive, monstrous qualities - does that mean you embrace both parts of “your” element? More importantly, what does this say about your relationships with the other elements?

As they say, "Earth my body, Water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my spirit." We are each comprised of each of the four elements; we could not live if we were missing any one of them. Every element has many valuable lessons to teach us, as well as dangers if we are too dependent on any one of them. It is true that most of us likely connect to one element more easily than others, but we all have the qualities of all the elements in varying degrees. My main concern is that asking the question “What is my element?” prevents us from asking about or developing our connection with all of the elements; the question limits us, rather than expands us.

We are far, far stronger if we can recognize the qualities of all of the elements within ourselves and use them consciously to affect the world around us. This means identifying our relationships with the different elements, which can sometimes can be just as complex as our relationships with different people. One element might fit your temperament quite well, but you might aspire to embody another element. Maybe one element disgusts you, and it’s worth exploring why. Maybe another element is one that you admire in other people, but don't necessarily care to develop in yourself. Maybe you were raised to be quite adept in one element, but are actually more expressive and talented in using another. Maybe one element came to you easily as a child, but as you age you find that another one really speaks to you. It is really important to find out what your relationships are with all of the elements, because once you do, you can know yourself fully. If you know yourself, then you can change yourself and the world around you.

So to that end, I encourage anyone who's interested to start talking about their relationships with all of the elements, and to share their stories on this thread.

I’ll go first. Here’s my personal story - I feel like I’ve always been a very emotional and sensitive person, so in this sense I have always felt watery. When I need to I don’t have too much trouble drawing inspiration from fire, even if it’s not my most natural state. However, my parents taught me to do well in school, which in my mind was about being airy. Being bookish and scholarly have been useful tools, but there are a couple of downsides to air. One, when you put too much value into things you can’t see (for me, this was academics), you sometimes miss the things that are real and right in front of you, like water - I was often encouraged to suppress my watery temperament, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve been opening myself up to really explore my feelings and the memories that are really lurking way deep in the ocean, and honing my intuition. Two, air is free and it floats, but sometimes you need to be strong in the way that a tree is strong, with deep roots and the groundedness that comes with being in connection with other living things. My parents always told me that I needed to sacrifice my relationships with other people in order to succeed (yep, tiger cub here), and so my connection to earth hasn’t always been the easiest thing, but it’s what I yearn for the most.


Special thanks to Heartsong and Kassandra for helping me edit this post!
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Altairtigris »

I'm really pleased you started this thread. I'm confused when it comes to elements. I'm a Capricorn and so my element there is earth, which I feel very attached to. However when there's water nearby ( mainly rivers and streams rather than seas ) I feel very attached to that. The same with air and fire. I'm learning a lot about myself recently, so maybe eventually I'll work out my element when I know myself better. Until then I can't wait to see everyone else take on this and how they discovered their element.
Are light and dark elements too? If so then darkness is mine. I feel so much more alive at night and if I'm doing anything that makes me feel vulnerable like sleeping or meditating i prefer absolute darkness. It's like being wrapped in a protective blanket.

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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Heartsong »

We are far, far stronger if we can recognize the qualities of all of the elements within ourselves and use them consciously to affect the world around us. This means identifying our relationships with the different elements, which can sometimes can be just as complex as our relationships with different people. One element might fit your temperament quite well, but you might aspire to embody another element. Maybe one element disgusts you, and it’s worth exploring why.
I absolutely agree and since you're kindly giving us just such an opportunity for exploration...well, don't mind if I do. :)

I confess to a fascination with the elements and elemental magic. It's a topic that's always drawn me and I love reading and discussing them. Even when I discard concept such as "birth elements" and "personality elements", I still am the most connected to Earth. I can't count how many days I've walked outside, barefoot, and just stood there, feeling the ground pulse under me with energy. To me, when I close my eyes and focus my awareness down at my feet, I experience what seems to me like thousands of roots whisking out from me and attaching to trees, grass, stones, flowers, crops...it's the most incredible sensation! It's a spiritual moment for me when my hands plunge into black dirt, lying down in it and feeling its cold mass almost fold in around me. I breathe it in and I am one with it.

Both Water and Air are elements that I can connect with fairly easily, although not in the same way. I don't have a sense of merging or becoming them like I do with Earth.

Fire, on the other hand...Well, Fire scares me. I could have a lot to do with the fact that my dad is a retired firefighter. I remember watching his training videos with him when I was little and the constant warnings he gave me and my siblings about its consumptive nature, how quickly it can turn against you. I've never been able to get past that instilled trepidation. Fire is chaos and baleful in my mind and I have a great deal of difficulty reconciling with the more beneficent aspects of it. Warmth comes across as unbearable heat, light as painfully blinding.

Even so, I'm not really sure that I can claim having also connected with Earth's more destructive side. I have mild panic attacks when I think long and hard enough about being buried beneath the ground when I die. Of course, I think anyone who considers the potential any of the elements have to overwhelm us, it's naturally frightening. The elements represent death as much as they represent life. I think that is an aspect of them that we really need to address in order to further our understanding of them, because they are far more complex than I think many people initially realize.

To me, viewing them in balance is exactly as Xiao is saying. In order to claim that you really know them, you have to accept all parts of them, much as you would of someone that you love, or in the other extreme, someone you hate. How can you be justified in your feelings without a deep understanding of the nature of the person? Establishing an emotional and spiritual connection with not only all of the elements, but also coming to grips with the duality of their natures (as with people), leads to the same type of growth, in my opinion. I know that I have to learn to be more comfortable both sides of Fire, for example, before I can really start to understand it. It has the potential to help as much as harm. Intellectually, I know this. Emotionally, you put me in front of a roaring fireplace and I'm going to start biting my lip in trepidation. However, having this understanding of myself and my fears is what is going to help me move past it.
It is really important to find out what your relationships are with all of the elements, because once you do, you can know yourself fully. If you know yourself, then you can change yourself and the world around you.
I can't think of a better way to put it. :)

Now, here's my ponderance, and I'm just musing out loud, so to speak. Why not work with your relationship with one or two of the elements to improve the relationships with the other(s)? For instance, working with Earth to ground myself, and use Water's cool fluidity in such a way that I could begin to approach Fire with more of an open mind and heart? Why not also learn to harness the raw, destructive power of the elements to supplement your Craft? I don't mean that you use them for destructive magic, per se, but more as a boost. The reach and scope of an earthquake ripples farther and more powerfully than a stone thrown in a pond. What kinds of spellwork could use that kind of power? Would that be too dangerous, in some minds? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Thank you, Xiao, for putting this up, it's a marvelous topic! halfsm
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Xiao Rong »

Until then I can't wait to see everyone else take on this and how they discovered their element.

Altair, I actually wrote this post mostly to talk about how I want to do more than just "discover my element". It's good that you can feel a physical connection to all the elements, and that you are open to exploring each. If you've got a balance going, I would be extremely careful trying to identify one element that you claim as your own, because often in doing so we privilege one and devalue our attachments to the other 3 elements. Kassandra and I have been talking about this over PM, and she said something really beautiful that perfectly encapsulates what I'm trying to say here: "The lesson of the elements is balance." It's just as important to explore what elements make you uncomfortable as it is to explore what elements make you comfortable.
Are light and dark elements too? If so then darkness is mine. I feel so much more alive at night and if I'm doing anything that makes me feel vulnerable like sleeping or meditating i prefer absolute darkness. It's like being wrapped in a protective blanket.
I don't know if I count light and dark as elements too. I'd be interested to hear what other people think!

[edited to add: Cannot for the life of me understand what on earth is wrong with the "quote" system. Apologies for the weird tiered post!]
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Xiao Rong »

Heartsong wrote:I confess to a fascination with the elements and elemental magic.
Me too! I think it's such a fascinating model to view the world by.
Fire is chaos and baleful in my mind and I have a great deal of difficulty reconciling with the more beneficent aspects of it. Warmth comes across as unbearable heat, light as painfully blinding.
So the other thing that inspired me to write this post is Shadow work (based off of Jung's conception of the Shadow as the part of the self that is really, deeply repressed and disowned, and how one needs to reclaim the Shadow in order to become whole). So, ignoring the two competing visual metaphors, I would say that the element that you're most afraid of represents your Shadow, and you need to do work to reclaim it. You know what your strengths are, but you also have to understand your weakness.

Here's an exercise that I would suggest (based on The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford): Take a sheet of paper, divide it down the middle. In one column, come up with everything you fear and hate about fire (it's chaotic, blinding). In the second column, come up with everything you admire or respect about fire (it provides warmth in winter, etc.) Then look at the negative column and think to yourself about every time you've done something like one of the items of the list. (e.g. Chaos - there was this one time I ....), and do the same thing with the positive column (e.g. Warmth - I comforted my friend the other day ...) Don't be afraid to let yourself feel all the emotions that accompany it (shame, fear, confidence, etc.) and let yourself work through it. Hopefully by the end, you'll see how you have all the best and worst parts of fire in you, and that it's a strength that you can draw from and consciously control.
Even so, I'm not really sure that I can claim having also connected with Earth's more destructive side. I have mild panic attacks when I think long and hard enough about being buried beneath the ground when I die. Of course, I think anyone who considers the potential any of the elements have to overwhelm us, it's naturally frightening. The elements represent death as much as they represent life. I think that is an aspect of them that we really need to address in order to further our understanding of them, because they are far more complex than I think many people initially realize.
Yes, this! I've written a bit previously about the "monstrous" aspect of each element before. I like water generally, but one of my worst nightmares is to drown. I think you're right in saying that we have to accept that they both have the potential for life and death in them. I also think that the monstrous aspect of the elements holds incredible power, and that it's a part of the Shadow that we also need to own. Too often we look for the comforting parts of the elements (the candle, the babbling brook, the light breeze, the crystals). But sometimes, what we NEED to draw from is the wildfire or the hurricane (if you haven't noticed, I'm all about reclaiming anger too!) If I'm facing injustice, you bet that I want to have the tsunami on my side!
Now, here's my ponderance, and I'm just musing out loud, so to speak. Why not work with your relationship with one or two of the elements to improve the relationships with the other(s)? For instance, working with Earth to ground myself, and use Water's cool fluidity in such a way that I could begin to approach Fire with more of an open mind and heart? Why not also learn to harness the raw, destructive power of the elements to supplement your Craft? I don't mean that you use them for destructive magic, per se, but more as a boost. The reach and scope of an earthquake ripples farther and more powerfully than a stone thrown in a pond. What kinds of spellwork could use that kind of power? Would that be too dangerous, in some minds? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
I think what you talked about (using the other elements to approach the last element - grounding from Earth, cool fluidity from Water) is a really great idea! I'm not sure about a spell, but I often think of the elements as "ways of knowing" (earth - connection to others, water - emotions and intuition, air - rationality and intellect, fire - by doing and experimentation). Maybe you can use the elemental ways of knowing to approach Fire? I know that when I was trying to develop my relationship with Earth (which is still a work in progress), rationalizing and thinking things through (Air) actually helped me a lot.

Also, as a general note, I don't know if you're a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but I think it's a really interesting and insightful take on the elements. I know it's a kids cartoon show, but it uses the 4 classical Greek elements with a lot of Eastern philosophy. In the series (an Asian-inspired world where people can control elements, but only one person, the Avatar, can control all four), the Fire Nation is trying to take over the world, and so they're set up to be the villains. The main character (Avatar Aang) has to learn balance in order to stop them, including mastery over fire, which he initially believes to be destructive and chaotic before learning that it is also a source of life and energy that can be really positive (the Fire Nation was just choosing to use fire in a destructive, evil way). As an airbender, he has a hard time with learning earthbending because he preferred peaceful, non-violent methods to fighting, but he eventually learned the value of not backing down and standing strong from an earthbender, etc. I HIGHLY recommend it to everyone - it's a great show that's really intelligent despite being a children's cartoon.
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Garnetsun »

Merry meet and thank you for starting this very interesting thread.

I believe that while elemental magic is one of the most intriguing, the relation between us and the elements is the most nebulous. Astrology tells us that if we are a particular sign, this element is associated. But sometimes, It doesn't fit what we think our element is, if we trust our feelings; also, Chinese Astrology may tell us that we have a different element.
Shalle we belive them, or trust our instincts ?
Some may say to work with only one element, to insure its... benevolence? Support? But what of the other elements, won't they react differently towards this "favoritism"?

For example, the Pisces side for me tell that Water is my sign, Chinese astrology say i'm a Fire rat; but nowadays, I feel better on Earth than anything -especially since I've read about druduism-, I even see a forest while meditating, but sometimes also an ocean; but the flame of a candle is southing too. What should I follow? Why not work on all the elements? It would benefit us to work on all of them, not only spiritually, but also for our magick.

I've read on a website different manners to work on each elements. Dedicate one week to each, trying to immerse oneself in them until you understand them and feel a link. It cann be creative, or simple, but it will improve many things

As everyone said the elements, while helping us, are also quite dangerous. Burning, drowning or tsunamis, asphyxing, or earthquakes. Those are terryfing sides of the elements, but when we think about it, the Lord and Goddess have a nurturing side, but also a destroying, negative side. Why not the elements ? We can still work on them, maybe even work also with they terrifying sides, it may be really difficult, but it can be good, since in the Craft and Wicca, we think about both sides, in a unique balance.
Nothing shall be an exception, since it forms life. Wansn't thanks to the earth that came from molten lava and bit of asteroids and stars that our planet was created? Thanks to the air and the atmosphere, we have liquid water necessary to life.
And then, we both have this side too, and its difficult. I had an immense fear of water, not drowning -even if I almost drowned a few years ago, but to be in water until i spent hours in it. Now, i feel much better. But I felt horribly.

I don't have a spell to work with the energy caused by the immense powers of earthquakes, tsunamis, fires and hurricanes, but it can be created or found. Maybe to help victims of such events by working with those powers of nature ?

I feel like I just said again what you've already said. Sorry if its the case.
Thank you a lot for beginning this thread, it is immensely satisfying to read about this and participating.

Blessed be all !
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Heartsong »

So the other thing that inspired me to write this post is Shadow work (based off of Jung's conception of the Shadow as the part of the self that is really, deeply repressed and disowned, and how one needs to reclaim the Shadow in order to become whole). So, ignoring the two competing visual metaphors, I would say that the element that you're most afraid of represents your Shadow, and you need to do work to reclaim it. You know what your strengths are, but you also have to understand your weakness
Oh, where were you, Xiao, when I still in grad school? My thesis director was all about Jung! (Sorry about the metaphors, the creative writer in me pops out and takes the keyboard out of my hands sometimes :P)

Still, I would agree that Fire in many ways represents what I fear, and dislike, about myself, I can see the similarities. It's very likely that when I meditate over the next week or so, both making a connection with Fire, and confronting my Shadow are going to be uppermost in my mind. I really like the exercise you've recommended, I think I'll keep track of what I write down, doing so before every meditation. I would be good to have a visual record of what progress I'm making, if any. I'm sure through focusing and some honest soul-searching, a lot of baggage is going to be left behind.
I also think that the monstrous aspect of the elements holds incredible power, and that it's a part of the Shadow that we also need to own. Too often we look for the comforting parts of the elements (the candle, the babbling brook, the light breeze, the crystals). But sometimes, what we NEED to draw from is the wildfire or the hurricane (if you haven't noticed, I'm all about reclaiming anger too!) If I'm facing injustice, you bet that I want to have the tsunami on my side!
We do need to reclaim our anger! I have so much bitterness towards two people in particular, my mom's father and my dad's mother, over the absolutely rotten way they were treated growing up and in their adult lives. My grandmother died the most bitter, hateful woman and I want so very much to avoid becoming like her. At times, though, I get reminded by someone else that I'm acting like her or speaking like her and I have to make a conscious effort to alter my reactions. I haven't given it much thought before, but learning to accept Fire, even embrace it, could give me a lot of strength in dealing with the emotional and psychological scars. I could even learn to use it, a kind of burning away of the negative, a cleansing, if you will. I rather like that idea. Even though the monstrous aspect of Fire frightens me to death, once again, I realize that I have a need for it, in order to achieve personal and spiritual growth.

Using the other elements to accomplish this is likely going to be how I manage the approach. I like the idea of meditating, think of being wrapped in a cocoon of earth or water as I try to get to know Fire. Be honest about my feelings with it and try to understand it.
Also, as a general note, I don't know if you're a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender,
Absolutely! I love that show! It's a marvelous interpretation of the elements and how closely they exist with us and within us. And it really speaks to what you've been saying, Xiao, when you look at how powerful the Avatar becomes when in connection with all four elements. How strong and balanced we could all be if we can learn and make an effort to have that kind of spiritual, supportive relationship with them as well.
I've read on a website different manners to work on each elements. Dedicate one week to each, trying to immerse oneself in them until you understand them and feel a link. It can be creative, or simple, but it will improve many things
Garnetsun, could you post a link to the site? I would love to see their recommendations! And don't feel like you're being repetitive, love, you aren't. :) I agree, you can see the duality of the elements in the gods. In us, too. Realizing that is a huge step in growing as a person, I think.
Nothing shall be an exception, since it forms life. Wasn't thanks to the earth that came from molten lava and bit of asteroids and stars that our planet was created? Thanks to the air and the atmosphere, we have liquid water necessary to life.
Yes, beautifully said! We need all of them, not only to survive, but also to know what life is! They are interconnected and, to me, really inseparable from each other. They have so many lessons to impart to us, and yet how easily we can get disconnected from them. I think that, the disconnect, plays a big part in how the element we feel the most distant from can represent our Shadow. However, by ignoring one element for another, or even three out of the four for a single element, we are limiting ourselves. We are disowning a part of ourselves, because one of the greatest links we have to the elements is our ability to relate to each of them in turn. There is something about each one that we can see as a part of our personality or of someone else's. We see them as we see ourselves in many ways. It's not about owning the elements, for lack of a better term, but about learning to interact with each of them.

Personally, I'm curious about others' thoughts on how the elements can teach us beyond their physical manifestations and how our relationships with them can lead to further knowledge, of ourselves and of the world beyond us. For example, Earth is easily related to the body and to traits of steadfastness, fertility, and being grounded. But what else? What could this knowledge of Earth teach you about the other three elements? (I really feel like one of my English professors giving out an essay prompt, haha, but I am genuinely curious.)
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Garnetsun »

Heartsong wrote:
Also, as a general note, I don't know if you're a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender,
Absolutely! I love that show! It's a marvelous interpretation of the elements and how closely they exist with us and within us. And it really speaks to what you've been saying, Xiao, when you look at how powerful the Avatar becomes when in connection with all four elements. How strong and balanced we could all be if we can learn and make an effort to have that kind of spiritual, supportive relationship with them as well.

I totally agree with you on Avatar! Especially in The Last Airbender, it really represents the closeness of each element, and while having one "favorite" (The Nations), being close to the four makes us more powerful, and better too.

Garnetsun, could you post a link to the site? I would love to see their recommendations! And don't feel like you're being repetitive, love, you aren't. :) I agree, you can see the duality of the elements in the gods. In us, too. Realizing that is a huge step in growing as a person, I think.
Oh sure ! I find it really good, and it really helped me with the nebulous relation I had with Water. Spending that much time with each element can do wonders I believe. (here : http://www.rose-ariadne.com/witchcrafthistory/71 -ths website is really interesting, if you don't know it already.)
And I hope it will help you with Fire !
Personally, I'm curious about others' thoughts on how the elements can teach us beyond their physical manifestations and how our relationships with them can lead to further knowledge, of ourselves and of the world beyond us. For example, Earth is easily related to the body and to traits of steadfastness, fertility, and being grounded. But what else? What could this knowledge of Earth teach you about the other three elements? (I really feel like one of my English professors giving out an essay prompt, haha, but I am genuinely curious.)

Personally, I think that Earth is the link between all elements, but also need them all. Watering the flowers for them to grow, air to produce clorophyllis (I must check on that word), and fire to begin all again, by destorying.
But you can also stop this destroyin, or sometimes purificating fire by water, or amplifiying it by air. So I would see Earth as knowledge, beyond its correspondances to fertility and grounding. While alone it is good, by complementing it, it will be better. By its role of "center" but also its needing the other three to grow, it can teach us a lot about the other elements by their link.
Maybe that's why it is linked to the body. We need other elements(water, air, energies -for fire) to work, but alone, its marvelous in its system. The connection between plants are nearly (or more powerful) like the brain's.
But then, the brain can be linked to all elements too -emotions, psychic ability, creativity, vision etc..., but its based on Earth.

Blessed be , and I hope it's nice ah !
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Jonjonsalinas_ »

Ohh I love all the posts on here :) personally, I have a very strong pull to Earth - I always have for as long as I could remember (I even want to major in plant science/botany in college!). However, I do extremely agree that in order to understand one's own element, you must understand ALL of them.

What I do is I constantly study and practice different magicks with each element. So I always start with Earth and try to hone in on a new skill or magick that Earth has to teach me. Once I have 'mastered/perfected' it, I move on to Air. Then so on with Fire and Water - and I start all over with new skills! :) this constantly keeps me on my feet and helps me always learn how the elements are apart of our everyday lives. Hope this helps someone :p
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Heartsong »

Garnetsun wrote: Personally, I think that Earth is the link between all elements, but also need them all. Watering the flowers for them to grow, air to produce clorophyllis (I must check on that word), and fire to begin all again, by destorying.
But you can also stop this destroyin, or sometimes purificating fire by water, or amplifiying it by air. So I would see Earth as knowledge, beyond its correspondances to fertility and grounding. While alone it is good, by complementing it, it will be better. By its role of "center" but also its needing the other three to grow, it can teach us a lot about the other elements by their link.
Maybe that's why it is linked to the body. We need other elements(water, air, energies -for fire) to work, but alone, its marvelous in its system. The connection between plants are nearly (or more powerful) like the brain's.
But then, the brain can be linked to all elements too -emotions, psychic ability, creativity, vision etc..., but its based on Earth.
I like how you've put this, Garnetsun, especially your analogy of the elements to the human body. :)
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Heartsong »

Just an update on developing my relationship with the elements, this video and song was really awesome in helping me connect with Fire. Thought I'd share. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9RV-Wgottw&feature=player_detailpage
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Firebird »

That was great Heartsong! Being the Firebird I especially appreciated it :D :D thanks for posting and I'm glad you are finding your connection to Fire.
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

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firebirdflys wrote:That was great Heartsong! Being the Firebird I especially appreciated it :D :D thanks for posting and I'm glad you are finding your connection to Fire.
Blessings, Firebird
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Firebird! :D The song really makes me feel more open to the warmth of Fire, instead of being afraid of it. Not to mention it has a great beat!
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Firebird »

Heartsong,...do you have somewhere to build a fire? I find the actual making of Fire to be a Great way to connect with the Flame...
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“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
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“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
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Heartsong
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Re: Developing Relationships with All the Elements

Post by Heartsong »

I do, actually. I live on a fairly good-sized farm (about ten acres) and with lots of open field and woodland, I have plenty of room. :) Now that you mention it, I'm thinking of making a bonfire when it gets nice and cold again down here. Thank you for the idea!
Dance like the Maiden
Laugh like the Mother
Think like the Crone
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