Is this ethical?

[Blazewind]

I'm soemhow finding myself questionign whether this is right or wrong. i should know the answer, but I don't. I'm so fustrated with myself right now. The short form of the story that led up to this state of confussion is like this... I have a friend who I used to date several years ago. He broke up with me after six months and we ended up staying really close friends. The poor man has a few emotional issues now related to his growing confussion about whether he is still in love with me after these last few years. I know I don't love him at all anymore. It was never meant to be, and I realize and know that. Lately though he has been acting all obsessive and sad because of his feelings, which I beleive stem mostly from the fact that his sister is engaged and pregnant, and his best friend has just become a father. All this is seemingly making him realize that his life could be passing him by and he's not found a woman to settle down with. I certainly don't feel comfortable with being a conveince girlfriend, someone to be with because he can't take the time to find the one he is meant to be with. I am going crazy hoping he will give up and forget me, but he won't. Everytime I think I've gotten out of his cycle of craziness, he once again calls me and says he loves me. We've talked and he's sgreed a few times that it won't work, but he always has second thoughts and wants to try it again.
I have been very seriously thinking of writing a spell to break his attraction to me, but I'm confussed over whether that's a good idea or not. I'm not ever sure if this could somehow harm him. I obviously fallow the harm none way of thinking, and therefore would never do anything I knew could backfire like that.

[thatguy]

Hi Blazewind,

I think it *is* possible that you could unintentionally hurt your friend using
a spell to break his attraction for you. I think it's really your friend's job
to tear himself away from his obsession with you.

I hope you've been very clear to him that you're not in the least in love
with him anymore. I'm not sure it will do to simply tell him 'it wouldn't
work out'. If he's a dear friend, he deserves your honesty.

We all need each other's compassion and support but how can your friend
lead a happy healthy life focussing his attention on you the way he is? It
also seems obvious to me that your friend's attention towards you is
causing *you* distress, and you're important too. I say tell him bluntly
why this is distressing to you, and that his continued attention is making
you less than happy. If he really is your friend, and he really cares about
you, he'll do the right thing on his own.

Whatever his reaction is, maybe you two need some time apart, at least
long enough for the reality of the situation to become clear to him.

My intuition tells me that your best course is to confront him directly, nice
and solid, and lay down *exactly* how you feel about this; no punches
pulled.

I hope it works out for the best for both of you in the long run.

cheers,

T. Guy

[Addicus]

short: don't do it..

Long(not really): Magic doesn't solve everything. Just work on your own inner peace, and take his attraction as a compliment. Explain to him that you have no interest, and that he needs to leave you alone. Worst case, take legal action. I think a spell that effects someone elses will or energies is not neseceralliy(misspelled, i know) good... but girl, do what you need to.


Blessings
-Wynter

[Fallen.]

I don't suggest a spell to break his love for you but you can right one for him to move on , moving on is different from breaking his love because he'll still love you but he won't be as obsessed and he'll find love with someone else.Even though like everyone else said the easiest way is to tell him,but remaining close friends can still hurt for him because he has to see you often and he wants you but can have you lol.I've been through that so i just suggest a move on spell not break love spell.

[[WitchMomma]]

Hi Blazewind.

I had a wonderful friend that I dates for 4 years, after we split we stayed friends. I was the one that was always wondering if we we're meant to be and questioning that, usually when I was alone or frustrated in a relationship I was in. I'd go back to him and start pulling him back in and it wasn't fair to him.

Sounds like I was similar to your guy friend is being right now. I realized that this person of mine is just a strong connected person I will carrying with me my whole life but not a romantic partner. I had to travel across the country to see him to realize that.

It took no spells, I had to let him go. In your case you might be the one that has to be straight forward with him and tell him your feelings directly and that there in nothing there other than a strong friendship.

I hope maybe this helps a little and I haven't confused you with my story.

[[Obsidian]]

I don't think a spell is necessary here. I would just cut any ties with him. This might be the only thing that will let him drop his obsession.

Harry

[Blazewind]

Thanks everyone for relpying to this topic. I shall fallow your advice and not do it. I shall keep on trying to to make him see reason. i know that if he gave up on me, he could begin to look at the possiblity of meeting someone else. The guy is really in a sad state though in a couple other ways, and there is nothing I can do about that. He almost never leaves his house anymore, and when I saw him today, he seems really confused about a couple of pratical things. I hope he'll be alright. I realize that him being who he is, would make it a very bad idea to tell him blunty that it'll never work. I think the best thing to do in this case would be to just cut ties with him.

[watershield]

Just as a point
You asked if it was ethical. To ask suggests you already knew it wasn't

[[WitchMomma]]

Good Luck Blazewind. Hope everything works out and your friend is okay. You too!