Tips for the anxious witch?

[Bruhdelaire]

Hello everyone!

As it is my first "real" post here, I thought I would get a bit personal and get the stage fright straight off! And I hope it is in the right place.

A lot of you have quite a few years of experience and knowledge in the different paths available, which is a boon to everyone in the community. Obviously, a lot of pagan and witchcraft rituals/spells are focused around the elements of grounding, visualisation and meditation. The different personal BoS are also mostly written down, which anchors our traditions all the more - and this is again a very good thing.

However - as someone dealing with quite the sizeable anxiety disorder, I am having issues actually centring myself or having my thoughts gathered long enough to actually finish a spell, or to get the energy flowing correctly to perform anything. Thankfully, it has not affected my worship of the Gods and Goddesses I follow but I fear (ah!) that it does make me a lesser Wiccan.

I have found that going digital with my resources has helped me centre somewhat (my BoS is growing and I find that researching like I used to for my studies does bring me closer to my ideal path) but I have yet to encounter any practice that actually help me focus long enough.

The lack of physical elements does make me anxious about my worth - and isn't that the root of all issues!

I was wondering if anybody here has struggled with such "imposter syndrome" towards your personal craft, or if you have any tips regarding alternative methods for spells and rituals, or even daily rituals that would not require too much brain focus at first. Unfortunately, brain juice is divided between all the daily overthinking and has little to no room for other things!

PS: I do realise that daily meditation is the number one tip - but it is somewhat of a luxury that I am allocating for mental health purposes, a medication rather than a spiritual tool. I have yet to come across an alternative, and the one practice I have that brings related peace is my houseplant collection - growing to 60+ different plants overall, not counting duplicates, if you can imagine the rain forest. It does help towards my green/kitchen wicca path I visioned for myself but I am sure you guys have many more ideas or tips that I would not have thought about!

Thank you for reading all of this already x

[SnowCat]

I rarely work with tools, and my BOS is in my head. I keep just a low level grounding/protection spell running at all times.

[SpiritTalker]

I've plodded the anxiety tread-mill & have always had the attention span of a gnat. It helps me to break things into smaller time chunks. So Instead of slogging thru a spell from start to finish in one sitting, you might try doing prep-work ahead of time; there's nothing that says we have to dress & charge a candle at the same setting, for example. Do altar set-up ahead of starting a ritual (if used). You can come back to it when ready. I get distracted so i like old-time, repetitive spells that don't use much in the way of materials at all. Then I'm free to concentrate without worrying what comes next.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=36682

Re: meditating - Try doing 2 five-minute meditations or one 10-minute daily. Experiment. Play with it. Make it interesting - what can you do differently today from yesterday? Our minds need a reason to meditate. Give the conscious mind something to do. Chants & repetitious "beads" are good for occupying the front-mind so the the back-mind can work. Try meditating with various plant's (since you love 'em) & see what they tell you. For fun make a rhyme of your plant's names & chant it . For centering just doing some belly breathing to be calm is enough to start with.

As to feelings of being a lesser witch ... Well yea, you aren't Gandalf. There's only one of him & he's it. You do know that's the anxiety talking, right? So don't listen. Start a better dialog based on what you can do with what you've got on hand. You exist & are therefore stamped "approved" by the Universe.

[Bruhdelaire]

Hi guys!

Thanks for the answers, it has given me much for thought!

I am trying to memorise daily prayers/spells that I use regularly - I much prefer to reserve heavy ceremony for special occasions so I will try a bit harder to find ways to shorten the texts and steps so I don't have to force focus onto actually focusing and keep the energy and intent into the spell/offering. Keeping you BoS in your head see;s like quite the feat Snowcat, it is quite amazing to realise that you know and remember all this information on the go!

Thank you as well SpiritTalker, the link you provided were quite enlightening. If you wouldn't mind, I might try out your knotting spell idea, I think physical grounding might help even more than meditation - almost like prayer beads, and a spell all in one! I do like the physicality of the idea, and I actually worked with ropes and knots for my first Beltaine ritual (my fiancee gave me a welsh love spoon and I used it as a centrepiece with 7 knots all tied in by wishes during the celebration)

It did soothe a few of my anxieties (although I still wished I was as cool as Gandalf lol) and that actually starting something might be better than doing nothing. It is probably what all my patrons have been screaming at me lately
I guess our path is one of perpetual self evaluation and self actualisation, and one shouldn't let herself be stuck for too long.

[SpiritTalker]

Feel free to use & adapt for your personal use anything on EUTM forum. I can't speak for anyone's path but my own & it's been a mix of self-discovery & adventure. I find that a little self-focus goes a long ways. There's much to discover in the inter-connected relationships of Nature that shapes, guides & nurtures development. Every now & then a new piece of the puzzle fits & makes sense of the rest. It's on-going or perpetual like you've said.

I think Snow's onto something with the BOS being in her head. It just flows intuitively as you go along. You absorb info thru experience & file it in the mind. It's a natural part of yourself.

Thinking about the doldrums of ceremonial ritual (anything done repetitively is a ritual), we can do a circle variation for the energy benefits. Grounding/centering to start, followed by shuffle-walking in a circle without breaking contact with the ground will make an energy circle. Obvioisly Air surrounds us & if we set a burning-bowl, some water & a stone in the middle to represent fire, water & earth then we've informally introduced the Elements & balanced the circle. Walking through it disperses it.

[RoderickM]

It's that easily dispersed? Is that a good or a bad thing?

[SpiritTalker]

The energy circle without charging, quarter calls, Invocations or offerings has nothing erected to hold it in place. You make it strong enough to keep out static interference & contain your own energy until you want to let it go. That's all it's needed for.

One of the bonuses of learning to cast a full ceremonial ritual circle is it teaches us grounding, centering, shielding & 'projection skills. These in turn give us more self confidence without pushing us to do things we aren't comfortable doing.