Do you ever feel self-conscious about your beliefs?

[Stitchwitch]

Do you ever feel silly for practicing witchcraft, or fear that others, even those who are supportive, will judge you for your beliefs?

I'm new to this. I began learning and practicing witchcraft in earnest just three weeks ago. Before that, I had always been drawn to it as a topic of history, pop culture, sociology, etc., but I never gave it any credence. The closest was a brief dabbling in tarot during college.

Now, having learned a bit more about what magic is and looking at it logically and philosophically, I feel it makes perfect sense. I feel a sense of purpose I haven't felt in a long time and it's helping me a lot with self care.

While I know the effect in my life is positive, I have trouble trusting my thoughts sometimes. I have depression and generalized anxiety, so I get afraid that I'm latching onto something as a coping mechanism. If it helps, that's not necessarily bad, but the truth does matter to me and I fear that I will feel even more lost if the bubble bursts.

It doesn't help that my family would generally be unsupportive. My side would laugh and mock me forever. I don't know exactly what my husband's family would do. They are conservative Christians and I think some might cut off contact. Others would, with the best of intentions, feel a responsibility to "save" me. They believe that things like this will invite demons into your life. I honestly don't know if I would still be welcomed at family gatherings.

My husband has been very supportive (he's probably best described as agnostic), but due to all of the above, I still worry if I talk about it too much he might start to judge. That's probably me projecting all of the above more than anything.

Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? Do people in your life know about your beliefs or do you keep them private?

[L.J.Hex]

I have few friends who know something. I'm not telling them any details. Then there's one who is "in the know" so to him I can speak of anything. My family knows nothing and I tend to keep it that way, they wouldn't understand and I'm not willing explain in length which wouldn't probably take the point across anyway.

I'm not really afraid about people finding out about it, but I try not to be too open. Getting a reputation of a witch in this town might get quite interesting and some times bit difficult. I used to scare off unwanted company with it in a way, but its better just stay put. IF somebody asks about my necklace, I will tell them what it is about. But no pearls for pigs. Those who have zero understanding for this stuff don't deserve to know about it.

I want to keep this away from my family. It would be huge trouble with some of them if they know about it. Them knowing that I'm not a member of the church is enough.

Oh and I don't feel silly doing this stuff at all. I've seen enough weird things that witchcraft is as normal as it gets and I know it works. It would feel silly to do it in front of people who aren't into it. For their eyes it would probably look like some nut job woo-woo thing or they would get scared.

[SpiritTalker]

Eh-yup, sure enough. People'll judge anything. Usually when people judge others it's to justify themselves so don't buy into their ponzie scheme. I'm retired now but former coworkers simply assumed I was a conforming X'n because our place of employment was Catholic. My family isn't interested in my beliefs & friend's don't have a say one way or the other as my beliefs are my own. I don't feel silly since I'm not performing for anyone. Personal belief is private & unobtrusive, not a display. Nobody notices. There's no Witchy dress code - how could there be when you consider the moonlight sky clad?

Yule blessings

[barker]

When the demon in you is afraid, the talent in you is great. Just takes getting used to.

[RosieMoonflower]

I really relate to your post![quote][/quote] I was reading and like “did I write this?!”. Anyways, I am all about my tarot cards and my husband knows this but I never use them in front of him. Even though he has never judged me ever for anything, I’m still self conscious about excusing myself to go spend time with my cards. I get up for work before he does so I make my morning tarot time.

My workplace would not be an accepting environment to express my spiritually. But, that’s more out of self preservation than embarrassment. Being an empath (and a type B) I’m often a target for bullying in the workplace, I’m not giving anyone any ammo.

However, I did start wearing this crystal necklace sometimes. It’s has colored gems laid into it to represent the chakras. It’s somewhat dainty and yoga is so mainstream now, no one has asked me about it yet. But, I have owned this for years and never had the worn it before to avoid someone trying to use it against me. However I think it’s worth mentioning that when I decided to wear it to work for the first time, it came from this place of frustration from not feeling I’m able to be myself enough. And, how much of that is self preservation and how much of that is allowing other people’s views of me keep me from being myself, and ultimately living my best life? It started to wear on my self esteem, like it’s seems like no one likes me here and I’m not even being myself. I’m trying to hide my true self to please them and they still don’t like me. What kind of life is this!?

So I don’t suggest hiding everything. Find the small things you can take pride in and you don’t have to flaunt, but remind yourself that you don’t have to hide. I recently met a pagan friend and she was so comfortable with herself she came right out and mentioned it after only knowing each other about an hour. If she hadn’t, I probably would have hidden it from her and we never would have realized we both read tarot and have so much in common. We’re very good friends now so I’m glad she is braver than me.

Rosie


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[barker]

Phases of passion:

- not dead yet
- vulnerability
- not the problem
- heaven sent

The above is what it's like to come out of your shell, in steps. Brene Brown has a fascinating video on YouTube about vulnerability as a positive choice. Happy hunting!

[tourennatrix]

I'm struggling with this a bit myself. As a "new pagan" I don't have the words to explain my beliefs, so I shy away from anything that outs me as "other" enough to elicit questions.

This is especially taxing on me as I am trying to figure out where I will be renting a room in the spring. My 2 options are with *very* Christian friends who I have known for ages and love very much, or more "new agey" newer acquaintances who I don't know as well but don't really fear judgement from. I'm sure my friends won't make as much of a fuss about it as I imagine, but the anxiety is real!

[LC]

I know there will be trouble when my family finds out but I feel at peace with myself in practicing.
My best friend knows and is supportive, she also is a Christian like my family but liberal about it

[onetwothree]

Very much so! Especially because I sometimes have second thoughts, wondering if I am just sitting here looking stupid with things all over my table! But even if it ended up being 100% bogus, I feel peace when I do it, which is healthy all in its own!
But I have so many times things went how I casted that I feel I cannot doubt it or second guess it any longer.
But for me personally I don't care for anyone to know. Not because I am ashamed or anything, but because I do not care fo any negativity to be brought in. This is something I like to do on my own and keep for myself. Untainted.

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

I used to. Most of those people never respected me. I cut them out. They were lambs to the slaughter and socially conformist. I learned to trust my judgement and self rather than them. They also worsened my mental illness and didn't help me when I asked.

[barker]

I'm struggling with this a bit myself. As a "new pagan" I don't have the words to explain my beliefs, so I shy away from anything that outs me as "other" enough to elicit questions.

This is especially taxing on me as I am trying to figure out where I will be renting a room in the spring. My 2 options are with *very* Christian friends who I have known for ages and love very much, or more "new agey" newer acquaintances who I don't know as well but don't really fear judgement from. I'm sure my friends won't make as much of a fuss about it as I imagine, but the anxiety is real!

Live with whoever is going to be objective. The 'subjective' people you live with just piss each other off. Families are like this too. Friends are not always ideal, it has to work constantly and for an extended time. It's not about being close or having much in common, it's about fundamental respect. That's my own experience...

[EveningWithAstaroth]

Hi.

As far as being self conscious with friends, I don't tend to offer information about my beliefs unless asked, my group of friends are pretty open minded in general.

As for my family, whether or not they accept my beliefs, my mother seems very accepting as witchcraft sort of runs on her side of the family, one of her cousin's is very much a practitioner. My father seems to let me believe what I want.

I am staying with my parents and my brother in a small motel room currently and earlier had consecrated a new stone bead necklace with incense smoke, and no reaction. My family hardly noticed. I still write sigils and place them in my small cage altar. No one comments.

As for society at large I doubt very much if anyone can tell by looking at me that I practice witchcraft. I don't wear pentacles. I imagine people may think I am eccentric though as I tend to dress in a punk rock like look. Not too much but noticeable enough to appear eccentric.

As for advice there isn't much I can offer other than to try and hold off if you can on explaining your beliefs to every member of the family. Is it pertinent they need to know?

[barker]

> As for advice there isn't much I can offer other than to try and hold off if you can on explaining your beliefs to every member of the family. Is it pertinent they need to know?

Yes. Every family believes in truth NOT opinion. Outright.

[Stitchwitch]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences! I'm glad this question resonated with a few people. It always helps to know you're not alone. My husband asked me to put a spell on his tea the other day while he was sick with the flu. I doubt he knows it, but the request helped so much with the doubt I'd been feeling

[Astro Logical 1]

I never question my observations in a self depreciating way. But I do question EVERYTHING in an effort to understand it. The life of an alchemist is dependant on that in order for growth.

I know that people think my stuff is weird, but I really don't care. I think they're weird too.