What Was Your Early WC Practice like?

[SpiritTalker]

I thought it might help those who are starting out to read some of the stories about other's early-witch days; what we found to be the easiest or toughest things to learn, what first made you feel connected to your path, what your first altars were like, how your first attempts at ritual went, what your early practices were compared to what you might do X-number of years later, or whatever you feel could help newBs know they aren't being silly, dumb or alone in the newness of their path. What helped you? Would you care to share some of your firsts?

[T'a Nuk]

For a very long time I couldn't 'feel' the results of my ritual work. I did not really know how to meditate, and I felt that when I listened to the experiences of others, I was very much behind the curve. Because I was a solitary, not really wanting to be part of a coven, I always had the nagging thought that what I did 'didn't count' because a human of a 'higher rank' did not confer any sort of recognition. I slavishly followed the rituals and spells that I read from many sources, with the fair portion of being sort of led astray. If I was seeking change of any kind,I would try to find a spell or ritual in a book rather than trust myself. I tried to memorize every tree, Sabbat, Esbat, crystal, herb, god, goddess etc. thinking that filling my mind with random facts would somehow get me down the path. I would emulate others in every aspect with the hope that I would wake up one day with the wisdom of the ages. Frustration was common, as were self-ridicule, discouragement and the idea that there must be something wrong with me. It was actually a Salish healer who pointed out the fact the the universe is filled with stars, planets, comets etc, and that no 2 are alike but must contribute that which is solely their own. Well duh. I began applying my own 'brand' of practice and quickly found that all that was required was a grateful heart, an open mind, sincere intention and the deepest respect for nature. Intuition became my greatest teacher, a few simple breaths and observation of what was around me soon led to the discovery of all that I was missing. Trees DO talk, the Earth DOES feel, water DOES cleanse and so on. 30 years later I walk with the power of the Universe at my fingertips and the song of the Earth in my heart. A knowing of connection with all life permeates every aspect of my day. The irony is that we are all born with this knowledge, and in the end we must turn to ourselves to find it. Nobody else can tell you who you are, but when you find out, only then can you know what your gifts and contributions are. Whatever your spiritual path, continue the quest to know yourself.

[SpiritTalker]

I came to the Craft in mid-30’s and thought witches were fairytales.

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[Tornadofire-Sylva]

I started out at 12 with a couple of Scott Cunningham PDF's I'd found online. My mother hated it, so I didn't tell her. I desperately was searching for a sense of community. I wanted to belong to somewhere. My altar was a couple candles I'd "borrowed" from my mom, some rocks, salt, and a goodwill bowl, all set on a square of scrap quilting fabric. I'm going to be honest here, I was veeery isolated. I ended up doing an angel wishing spell because, at 13, I had begun turning into a woman. My mother had refused to give me a proper talk,. I thought I was dying. That spell obviously didn't work because nobody's organs have a pause button. None of my other spells worked, except for a couple of finding spells I did for expensive textbooks that were missing and due.
I had an old blue binder as my grimoire, my wand was a grapevine twig I'd carved with a kitchen knife, and I'd made a little broom out of branches I'd taken from the pines out front. My work with Wicca was very awkward, because I didn't feel connected. I realize now that I was afraid of doing it wrong. I stopped for my last two years of high school, instead focusing on studying various religions. I did a lot of yoga and meditation. In college, I spent time in nature and doing consciousness work. Now, I'm out on my own, so I'm combining all the correspondences and herbs I'd memorized, with my studies and my personal work to make a practice that I love because it's all my own.
My takeaway would be to not be afraid to ask questions. You're the master of your own fate and the maker of your own decisions. You don't need anything except belief in yourself. Take everything you read and hear with a grain of salt. This isn't a quest, it's a journey. Find your own balance between the tangible and the intangible.