One HUGE mistake and its consequences

[Sad^girl]

Hello everyone!
This is my first post and I’ve gone back and forth about posting it or not but I’ve decided to go ahead for two reasons: first of all, and most importantly, it’s a cautionary tale about why not to play with things that interfere with others’ free will, and second I’m hoping for some advice or opinions on this matter and whether or not there is something left to do to remedy the situation. I hope I won’t be getting much hate after what I’ve done as I am truely, deeply regretting my actions. I was naïve and careless.
Without further ado, here’s the story:
I was in a relationship that spanned over 3 years, with numerous break ups, I’ve been cheated on various times. However, in January of 2016, after a break up of 4 months and my life back on track after deciding not to go back to him anymore, I’ve found myself crying without an actual reason and phoning him, accepting to get back together. Everything was fine, until the end of february when he got a job offer over seas, which he accepted. We kept going with the relationship, with him telling me to move there with him a few months later and so on. I didn’t want to because I had landed a great job, I was making mad money and my life was basically great. Only thing that was missing was him.
In march, I started being concerned that he would forget me while being there or leave me if I didn’t move overseas.
I had been interested in the occult since I was 12 (now I’m 28) but I mostly did documentation and smaller spells. However, I decided I had to do something. I was desperate. I had been crushed so many times by this relationship and this person that I felt I couldn’t emotionally afford to loose him again.
This is how I ended up repetitively doing (at least once every week) 2 spells: love spell (I now understand that these types of spells bring NOTHING good - but at that time, I had no idea) and another spell using his picture, invoking a number of entities -which some say are good but some say are very very bad, for him to give up that job and return home. I did this all the way from april to the begining of july.
He did in fact leave that job and return home. Things were good for like 3 or 4 months. Then things started going downhill. We weren’t actually fighting or anything but he started having regrets about leaving his job overseas, he also couldn’t go back due to the way he had terminated his contract (he just left with no resignation, no explanation, nothing), he felt unsatisfied in our relationship and his parents were (again) pressuring him to leave me as they’ve never liked me. Also, I’d have to mention that his mom is an experienced witch and has previously done curses or other retaliation spells. She didn’t know I had anything to do with the occult.
Now, as things started going south, he told me he would like us to break up amicably. Which we did. He lived with me for another couple of months until he found a place to rent and we went out separate ways in a friendly manner.
A few days before he moved out, I had met a guy to whom I started talking.
Somehow, he found out and went crazy! Tried to spread lies about me to him, tried to convince me he isn’t any good, told me he loved me and that he wanted to get back and so on.
This was december 2016 and I was already sick of letting him back into my life. I tried doing everything possible to make it work, including compromising my ethical integrity and my principles by trying to bend someones will through magick.
By the end of December I started a relationship with this new guy. The relationship was and is great. I had finally found a guy that treats me right, doesn’t lie or cheat and wants a future together. Issue is, since we decided to move in together and got engaged(March 2017), we’ve been experiencing a chain o awful events: all the money we gets seems to be slipping between our fingers, I lost my job due to the company closing, nobody would hire me, if I do freelance work - I get no clients no matter how hard I struggle to promote, he has been working far more than usual but everything we try to build goes to dust, he’s had legal troubles (was wrongfully arrested and lost a lot of money and opportunities until they found that he hadn’t any involvment whatsoever) and many many many more like health problems, exposure of rather humiliating things from the past which ruinsd both our reputations and so on...
2017 was like a teaser of the chain of awful events, in 2018 things got to a whole new level with his arrest, me loosing my job, us loosing 30k€, being in debt, getting exposed and so on...
I fear what will come next. I fear for my life, for his, for the life we want together. I utterly regret the spells I had cast on my ex (whom met someone and got married at the begining of the year and is living a great life). I am also scared weather or not my ex’s mother had did something like a curse or maybe just a return to sender spell.
I would like to know your opinions on the matter and if possible, some advice about what I could do in order to reverse what I’ve done or for our lives to get back to normal. I am genuinely scared.
P.S.: Had I made grammar mistakes, I am so sorry. I am French and am still learning English.

[SnowCat]

First, you have recognized and taken responsibility for your actions. That's very important. What you're experiencing could be the karmic effect of what you did. It's also quite possible that his mother cast some sort of retaliation spell that's affecting you. It's probably a mix of both. You may want to do a clarity spell for yourself, as well as a negativity banishing spell.

[Sad^girl]

SnowCat, thank you very much for you advice and reply! Yes, I am incredibly sorry for what I’ve done. I’ve made a mistake, a very big one, too. Weather his mother has done something or not, it doesn’t excuse my actions in any way. I will look into clarity spells and negativty banishing spells. I’m ashamed of my decisions and actions. I hope my story will serve as a cautionary tale to others that might think to “play” with other people’s free will.

[missbelladonna]

We've all done things we're not proud of. I don't think you'll be suffering forever because you've realized what you did wrong, and you probably won't do it again. I also know what it feels like to be in that kind of relationship, and boy oh boy do people do crazy things when they're in love. It's going to be okay. Keep your head up, and don't stop trying.

[Sad^girl]

Missbelladonna thank you for your reply and good thoughts! Oh, yes, indeed, it was as if something had taken away my mental sanity. I should’ve thought that I wouldn’t have liked someone else to have done the same thing to me but I was blinded. I thought we would be together forever ... how stupid was I! I was young and dumb and I have no excuses. I admit that I had it coming and that I deserve the consequences of my actions. If I could turn back time, I would undo what I’ve done because I am aware of how much he regrets loosing that job and that opportunity and I sometimes feel that I’ve destroyed someone’s path in life, maybe he would’ve had a different or more fullfilling life, at least profesionally. And for what? In the end, for nothing. The past two years have been havoc in not only my life but it has also directly affecfed all my loved ones (my fiancee and my parents). I feel responsible for the suffering and all I want is for everything to stop and get back to normal... it’s been exhausting both physically and spiritually.
By the way, do you have any suggestions about some effective clarity and negativity banishing spells? I must add that my resources are scarce unfortunately. I am also concerned about the entities I chose to work with when I cast those spells...

[SpiritTalker]

These are just some random thoughts I'd had as I read your post in consideration of getting to the roots of an issue. It's offered from the comfort of an arm chair observer & shouldn't be taken as unsympathetic to the grip of emotional challenges of the situations you've described. Just sayin'. I think by taking responsibility that you've made your amends. That's a big thing.

Your heading refers to "one big mistake" but my Nit-picky Virgoan brain sees in terms of a series of interconnected decisions, each leading to the next, & which at any point could have been re-routed by having made different choices motivated to bring healing rather than motivated from fear of loss. Each unfortunate choice fed the fear and contributed to the materialization of the loss. Such a situation will play itself out when you no longer feed the fear. You move to a New Normal rather than returning to how it was.

SnowCat gave good suggestions. Some clarity helps to see the cord that ties things together, and negativity removal stops feeding the fear. I think it helps to get a grip on underlying energy of our intents that's at work in long ranging situations.

As for spells ... I only use the simplest, most direct means so as not to distract my somewhat whimpy focus from the intention. I've got the attention-span of a gnat so have to work around it. I'd written a post in the "spells" section called "Simple Spells" & it's all I have to offer. It's nothing fancy, no costly ingredients or any full long ritual, just olde time ideas you can adapt however you feel guided.

Brightest blessings.

[Sad^girl]

SpuritTalker thank you for you reply and advice! Yes, you are right, it has indeed been a series of unfortunate choices. I could have stopped at any given point. I guess I have titled my post wrong but, please bear with me as I’m not a native English speaker and even though I’m trying to do my best in writting as grammatically correct as I can and trying to translate my thoughts as well as I know, I sometimes am not able to do that great of a job
I have taken notes from various spells I’ve wrote or copied from different source throughout time and will continue to do so. SnowCat’s suggestion has helped me greately, your as well and I will be now looking into the Simple spells post and missbelladonna’s good thoughts have been comforting.
I’m very glad that I’ve found this forum and you wonderful people! Wish I would’ve done this earlier maybe before I did what I did but I guess with the naïvite and the mind set I had back then, fear and desperation would’ve taken over, regardless...
there is, however a moral to this story, for me. I did learn that whatever makes me happy won’t necessarily make someone else happy. I’ve learned that free will is something that should not be toyed with under any corcumstances. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t try to change the general order of things in someone’s life, that you should not interfere and most of all, that you cannot make someone love you or stay with you. Yes, a lovespell will make them infatuated, maybe even borderline obsessed. But as it is not something that came naturally, it will either wear off or take a twisted turn. Yes, you ca bring someone back to you with a spell and they will come back blindly but once the veil is lifted, they will regret their decision and leave once again and it’s gonna be even worse if they’d lost something in the process...

[SnowCat]

Even though it was a series of events, the outcome ended up being one huge mistake, so I don't think your post title is wrong. And we have all done foolish things, and paid a price.

[Sad^girl]

Thank you SnowCat. If I could take back the actions that brought damage onto others, I would. Unfortunately, that is impossible. Instead, I thought maybe, admiting to my wrongs and sharing my story will help others that might find themselves in the same situation at one point or the other.
However, I don’t know if I’ll ever be casting another love spell, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never be casting a spell to bring someone back. If they’re gone, they’re gone for a reason. And when it comes to love spells, I guess I’ve still to figure out where to draw the line between a will bending one and a morally/ethically acceptable one.

[Tylluan]

Well I think we've all been here or done something similar to some extent.

You can do a breaking of the link spell. You get a piece of string and tie one knot at an end to represent him, then you tie one knot the other end to represent you.

Over a candle burn the string in the middle to sever it. I never follow the wording of spells as its someone elses words and doesn't mean the same to me. So I'd talk to the string and tell it that you want a fresh break and to cut the ties relinquishing the hold you wanted over him and stopping their contact with you. Ask that the fire breaks their (her) spell too.

I once had a boyfriend who was a hairdresser. He was really horrible to me and cheated on me often. I had enough and tipped an entire bottle of hair conditioner over his motorbike in the height of the summer. He apparently came back to lots and lots of insects that had climbed all over the bike to get at the sweet smelling solution. It was just a message to say 'don't mess with me'. Childish I know but I was in my teens and it felt pretty good.

I wouldn't be so hard on you. He wasn't actually good to you. Sometimes I think we are the Karma that people say comes around.

[Juniper]

I just read your post and it's a very personal story. Like the others have said, I think that realizing the mistakes and being sorry for them are a huge step. Now stop feeding the monster. Don't spend any more energy on it, it will drain you. Forget about him,his mother, and all the issues involved. Your young but the stress and worry will make you old fast! Start sending positive energy out and it will come back just like the negative does. Wake up in the morning and say this is going to be a great day! Focus on the positives in your life and put your energy into them. Slow down and enjoy life. It's all about perspective. As far as the money thing, figure out your needs versus the desires and adapt accordingly. Watching a sunset or sunrise doesn't cost anything, or a walk in the woods. Meditate or just play a game of chess. Pay off your debts as you go and stay positive and in a few years everything will straighten out, you'll probably be way better off than you were. Time is the most important thing, and one day you'll run out of it. Enjoy it while your here!! Just my opinion,. Hoping for the best for you!

[barker]

Everything is worth it that is learned from.

[CleverlyDisguised]

Here is a spell I wrote and have used on several occasions to great advantage


get a partner for this one. Cast a circle, light Black pillar candles at the corners. black is associated with grounding, earth, and domination in black magicks and we intend to blend all those things together by grounding out any old bindings, strengthening your own self with a reassertion of your own domination of yourself.. reasserting your Dominion. You also need so soft but strong rope and a chair. So you cleanse the chair and rope, sweep the space to clear it of negativity or even just random energy build up. Cast the circle and light the candles. Sit down in the chair and have your partner bind you to the chair with the rope, symbolizing the bindings placed upon you, starting at your feet and going to just below shoulder level (it's a looong rope), make sure it's tight enough you can't escape but not so tight as to be painful. Tie it semi regularly (9 knots are minimum I recommend). Partner must visualize the symbolism to "synchronize" the rope and the spells. Once done have the partner cut you loose with a knife consecrated to your deity or element or whatever you use, saying "I release you from your bonds", "your bonds are broken and gone", stuff along that line using only positive, affirmative statements. When you are completely free, release the circle, burn the rope and scatter the ashes in a river or in the wind off a cliff or mountain or on a particularly windy day so it is released to the universe.


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[SnowCat]

Make sure you have a partner you trust and are comfortable with for the spell Clleverly Disguised posted. If that isn't possible, I would not use that particular one. Other than that, I think it's a good spell.

[CleverlyDisguised]

Make sure you have a partner you trust and are comfortable with for the spell Clleverly Disguised posted. If that isn't possible, I would not use that particular one. Other than that, I think it's a good spell.

I figured ideally, assuming he’s open to it, her current partner would be ideal... it seems like as she fails her ex flourishes... almost like she bound herself to him with her castings... just a though/observation


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