Husband emotionally abusive

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Mirrorah
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Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

Hello everyone,

My husband is emotionally abusive. Mostly he's passive-aggressive but he used to be worse. The only reason he stopped was because I began to see through it and didn't participate anymore. But I can't do anything about the passive aggressive part. And it's small things, but they add up. It's really been getting to me lately. I have bipolar disorder and my moods are becoming unstable and I often feel like I"m about to lose it and unfortunately, I can become violent when I'm like this, the violence always directed towards myself.

I have a doctor's appointment monday and I'm afraid that if I told the doctor what I really feel like, he might put me in the hospital for 72 hour observation and I do not want to be in a mental institution. I can't leave because I couldn't afford to, I have kids. I have to take anti anxiety medicine just to cope with him. I'm beginning to hate him. I can feel it like poison inside of me. I'm very new to spells. I know hexing and cursing is bad. I know you're supposed to do binding spells for something like this but how do you do a binding spell against someone you live with?

The spell I have in mind is what I am calling a mirror spell, along the lines of, 'Take a good look at yourself." I haven't thought out the details yet. All I know is that it's going to involve his picture put up against a mirror and making him see himself for who he really is. Is there anything wrong with doing something like this that you know? Is there something better? I'm about to lose my mind. It's so bad that sometimes I find myself wishing he was dead or wishing I was dead. I have to do something. I can't take it anymore.

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barker
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by barker »

1st, Put him in an imaginary silver shell in your mind.
2nd, Know that passive aggressive is about allowance. You are allowed your work on and understand your thought and feelings.

You probably have something in common which makes you both a bit competitive. That's healthy as long as your own thoughts and feelings are being allowed, by you. If he stops calling you decent occasionally, that's his, make that known to him.

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SpiritTalker
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by SpiritTalker »

Re: mirror spell - putting his photo inside a compac or taped to a mirror so his image faces the glass is a fairly useful "see yourself" spell. Creative variations are up to the Crafter's inventiveness. ... Something like adding your dominant-hands' saliva-dampened thumbprint dipped in salt to the photo to symbolize your own ability to over come (he's under your spit-on thumb) & to cleanse the act from unintended residual ill-wishing, which also protects you.

Mirrorah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

Barker-There was a lot of emotional abuse in the house I grew up in and I'm with him because when I met him, I was still coning out of that and didn't know anything different. He really has a rotten personality, I"m sorry to say. It runs in his family. His sister is even worse. They like to control people emotionally, they like to hurt people. It makes them feel powerful. That's what I think. He's very difficult to live with, and it's getting old. Our front steps are falling apart and he won't fix them, only because I want him to, anything I want him to do, he won't do, just out of spite. He started building a deck in our backyard and never finished it and our yard looks horrible now and it's embarrassing. I can't ask him for anything, no matter what it is, and he'll refuse to do it. He's an asshole to be quite blunt. I don't know how I contribute to it anymore because I think we always get enmeshed with our partners, but his hatefulness is on him as far as I'm concerned. But yes, I like your advice. It's always good to look at ourselves and see how we contribute to something. But honestly, I can't talk to him about anything, no matter how small it is, he'll be petty about it.

Spirit Talker-Thank you. It's good to know I'm on the right path. I like the idea about the thumbprint. I've also got the idea of putting some rose quartz in there with him in the bag and then putting that bag into something else full of salt. The Rose Quartz is to improve his mood and the salt is to bind him and purify him. But I haven't completely decided. I also bought myself some obsidian today and I'm going to start carrying it with me. I bought a sage smudge stick too. I wonder what he would do if I smudged him. lol

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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by planewalker »

In my considered opinion, you MUST speak frankly with your Doctor. If you are at the point you are contemplating violence upon yourself or another. it is time to trust your healthcare professional. A Doctor can not act against your wishes. Let her or him know. You should never make a permanent decision to a temporary problem. Discuss this with your Doctor. Please for, and from, someone who has been there, take your time, go slow. Think carefully, about yourself and, about your wonderful children. Remember them, you, always absent from them

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barker
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by barker »

Mirrorah wrote:Barker-There was a lot of emotional abuse in the house I grew up in and I'm with him because when I met him, I was still coning out of that and didn't know anything different. He really has a rotten personality, I"m sorry to say. It runs in his family. His sister is even worse. They like to control people emotionally, they like to hurt people. It makes them feel powerful. That's what I think. He's very difficult to live with, and it's getting old. Our front steps are falling apart and he won't fix them, only because I want him to, anything I want him to do, he won't do, just out of spite. He started building a deck in our backyard and never finished it and our yard looks horrible now and it's embarrassing. I can't ask him for anything, no matter what it is, and he'll refuse to do it. He's an asshole to be quite blunt. I don't know how I contribute to it anymore because I think we always get enmeshed with our partners, but his hatefulness is on him as far as I'm concerned. But yes, I like your advice. It's always good to look at ourselves and see how we contribute to something. But honestly, I can't talk to him about anything, no matter how small it is, he'll be petty about it.
Still I say, write down if you want, thoughts of anger and resentment, feelings of disgust and worry, and if you can't let him know in person, do it indirectly by talking to somebody else first. I only venture to say this because that is the situation already, you are thinking feeling and letting him know these things. It is just a question of how consciously you want the process to be! good luck

Mirrorah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

Planewalker-Thank you. My feelings have been overwhelming lately but I think I can hang in there until my doctor's appointment Monday. I have anti anxiety medicine, which helps a lot, and I plan to be out of the house a lot until after my appointment. Again, thank you.

Mirrorah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

I don't know how to reply directly to the person that posted, is there anyway to do that? I don't mean PM. I just mean, so that they can see I responded to them.

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Shekinah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Shekinah »

I agree with Planewalker. Your situation is potentially dangerous and needs professional intervention,
Truth and Reality are highly guarded secrets. Nothing is as it appears. "The ONENESS sleeps in the stone, breathes in the plant, dreams in the animal and awakens in man" (Indian proverb)

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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by firebirdflys »

Mirrorah, I sent you a PM with some resources. I hope you can get help before you become addicted to anxiety meds, but by all means, do take them as needed, you are in a a rough patch right now.

As for replying to a post, after you have hit reply and your text box shows up, go to the post you wish to reply to and highlight the words you want to speak about. Then in the top right corner of the post you are replying to hit "quote". Now the message you are responding to should be in your text box.
An alternative is just to hit "quote' on the post you are replying to and this will cause a text box to pop open with the WHOLE text of that post. You can edit it down to the sentence you are referring to in your response.

Please be careful, many blessings, Firebird
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by planewalker »

I will remember you in my daily devotions. DON'T FORGET 911. You are not bothering anyone!!! THAT IS WHAT PROFESSIONALS ARE THERE FOR. It would be silly to train them, buy them great looking equipment and then not use them.

Mirrorah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

I wanted to add, he's not physically abusive. I'm in no physical danger. The danger I am in is that I could have an episode.

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firebirdflys
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by firebirdflys »

These types are unpredictable, you never know what might trigger them to become violent. Keep 911 at the ready.
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planewalker
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by planewalker »

I hope your Doctors appointment goes well. I think it will really help. Planewalkers Medicine Wheel - Contact thread in Shamanism under types of Witchcraft is always a safe vent zone. Sometimes just getting it out of your system can help. As I get to know you better I'll see if I can come up with a spell set or ritual that might help.

Mirrorah
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Re: Husband emotionally abusive

Post by Mirrorah »

Thank you. Sorry I didn't check back before this. Unfortunately, I was mixed up. It was my therapist appointment that was yesterday, my doctor's appointment isn't until the 20th. I think I'll be okay. If not, I call them and tell them I need to get in sooner. Thanks. It did really help to talk about it.

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