Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

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Firebird
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Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Firebird »

I didn't even know where to put this question....
BUT...
There is this woman in one of the groups I regularly attend who has made her mission to save me.
She speaks constantly how Jesus has saved her and how her faith in her Lord and Christ is the only thing that propels her forward it's really getting old and nauseating and I don't exactly have a different group I can attend and I never know when she will be there. The other women have asked her to tone it down a bit yet she protests because she says this is who she is... she exclaims constantly how she prays to God to fix this and that in her life and he has come through every single time, and that's great...for her. But she goes on to ket everyone else know that they are going to have problems unless they find Christ.
Aaaaand she will pray for us.
I was assaulted with her Jesus speak on my way out of the room today. Her message was basically unless you get Jesus in your life you will suffer. And that she will pray for me...and today I said, "if that makes you happy."
I told her I have faith in a higher power I didn't tell her it was the Goddess because she wouldn't understand. These types just don't comprehend we all have different methods of realizing spirit. They can't hear you. It's seems almost sociopathic.
Can I just add that Jesus does not help her with her weight. I really hate to say this, and more ashamed to even think it, but if he has done all for her that she claims... then why not take off or 200 or so pounds? Dang, Bite my witch tongue...now I've said it. I would never say this to her face.
Does anyone have some words of wit.?
Usually I can hold my own with an evangelical, but she is grating on my last witch nerve. :vampire:
Bird of Fire
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by SnowCat »

Next time she says she's going to pray for you, just say "Thank you." If you're doomed without Jesus, just tell her you're doomed. I told Mormon missionaries about Loki a while back. I haven't had any more missionaries at my door. The next batch gets to hear about Anubis. If that makes me a stinker, then I'm a stinker.

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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Firebird »

I thought I might tell her about Cerridwen, but I fear it would be more fuel for her fire, and will have to see her again. :annoyed:
So, I would really like to practice some interfaith conversation, however one can nary get a word in edgewise.

The Witnesses at the door or on my stoop are a different matter, I'm not concerned I'll ever see them again, and I gennerally do not...they must have the word out within the cult not to talk to my house :lol:

BB, ff
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
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“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Kassandra »

.



"Reverse Psychology" Approach

I'm basing this suggestion on Star Witch's story she posted somewhere on this website where every time Christian proselytizers would approach her door, she'd draw a pentagram on a piece of paper and quickly tape it to the front door before they got there. These types often scare easily, so they'd see the pentagram and quickly leave the property (lest "Satan get them!" lol). I thought that was freakin' hilarious.

In your case, reverse the proselytizing. Turn the tables. Kill her with witchy kindness and pagan magnanimity, hehe. Approach her first after meetings. Annoyingly invite her to every single sabat and esbat that comes up on the Wheel, absolutely insist that she come (tell her you'll even come by and pick her up!). Tell her that after the next group, you will bring her some delicious cakes and ale from the last sabat for her to sample. You're pretty crafty --make nice pentagram necklaces and attempt to give them to her as gifts. Or get a colorful pentagram poster and say you were thinking of her when you were in a spiritual store when you saw the poster, and figured she'd "really like it."

This approach will require great acting skills, and a high tolerance for rejection (initially), but it may also be quite empowering in the long run. And I think the other ladies in the group would get a silent naughty chuckle out of it, since they are already acquainted with her overbearing religiosity and probably wish they'd been the ones to think of a way to finally shut her up. Most importantly though, I think that it won't be long before Jesus Lady will be hightailing it outta' there after the meetings, for fear that "that crazy witch is going to try to convert me again" ...and like magic, you'll be left in peace.



Magical Approach

For a magical approach to solving this problem, you might consider doing a glamor spell of invisibility on yourself. These work. What will happen is she just "won't see you" in her consciousness anymore. For instance, instead of talking to you she will suddenly look at the time and remember she needs to be somewhere at a certain time, and leave. Or she will try to approach you, but just at that moment someone will walk up and start talking to her and distract her, at which time you'll slip away.

Or something in her mind will convince her not proselytize to you anymore, etc. Invisibility spells are cool and really work. I put one on my car once until I could update my registration. Police cars would pull up behind or beside me, and not stop my car at all, seeming to not notice it. I never got a ticket! (Kids, don't try this at home; do as I say not as I do, haha, you didn't just read that).

You might also consider doing a skull candle spell at, like, 3am or so, when she's probably asleep. On a petition paper cross her name 9 times with a brief command like, "Firebirdflys has disappeared to you." Talk to the skull (representing her mind, her consciousness), praise her wonderful ability to draw people to Jesus and how proud Jesus must surely be of her work. But, her great proselytizing skills are surely wasted on you, so Jesus undoubtedly wants her to find someone else to convert. Focus on what you want her to do, not on what you don't want her to do. Keep it positive, flatter her ego, but redirect the focus of her religious activities off of you.

Christians are very reward-oriented as a behavioral motivation, so mention things like paradise, heavenly rewards, Jesus's approval, etc. That's the language that motivates them (their locus of control is other-based). So, don't fight her mentality; understand it, use it to your advantage, and work with it. Load the candle with your petition along with confusion-causing herbs, like poppy seeds. Dress the candle with an influencing oil (there are pre-made formulations for this, just look online) to add oomph to your work.

You could couple these workings with foot track magic by sprinkling something on the ground where she will be walking, so that she tracks your spell into her home. It will be even more effective that way. She will begin to think about things differently, and soon your intention will become a self-replicating thoughtform in her mind.


For best results, combine both of the above approaches. :fairy:

Even if you do none of the above, I sure did have fun writing this post, haha.

Good luck with Jesus Lady! :wink:





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Pallando
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Pallando »

1) ask her where she goes to church
2) go there during office hours
3) tell the **EMPLOYEES** of her church that you will file a cease and desist lawsuit and sue the **INSTITUTION** for damages due to harassment and duress if she does not stop.

Someone in that office isnt crazy, I promise. They will straighten her out.

Peace
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by JaceGem »

As someone who lives with a woman who has drank the Christian Kool-aid and doesn't realize just how annoying and harsh she is with her religion, I can sympathize greatly. My suggestion would be to either flee like the second the meetings are over or if you wanna give her a taste of her own medicine, troll her a little bit. When she tells you about Jesus, tell her about the gods/goddesses you worship. Don't let her get a word in edgeways. Evangelists are SUPER stubborn sometimes but they'll leave you alone eventually.
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Kassandra »

Pallando wrote:1) ask her where she goes to church
2) go there during office hours
3) tell the **EMPLOYEES** of her church that you will file a cease and desist lawsuit and sue the **INSTITUTION** for damages due to harassment and duress if she does not stop.
Someone in that office isnt crazy, I promise. They will straighten her out.
Hmmm, the only issue I could perceive with that approach is Christians generally believe they have a mandate from heaven to proselytize (http://biblehub.com/mark/16-15.htm). If anything, if ff complained to the Jesus Lady's church, the Jesus Lady might get an attaboy slap on the back from her church leaders and peers for doing good job preaching the gospel (harassing) firebirdflys, maybe even a standing ovation during the Sunday sermon, lol.

And like other Abrahamic religions, they also value martyrdom, as many of their role models were actually martyred, so they might view any action against them as proof they are good spiritual warriors fighting the good fight for Christ.

Still, it's worth a shot, ff. Wouldn't hurt to try. I think I did or was going to do this once when some church person did something, can't remember the details now. At the time I knew that if I reported this person's behavior to his church elders he'd get counseled sternly, and/or altogether excommunicated from his congregation. It was much more egregious than what this lady is doing, though.

But yes, it is legitimate to say to her church elders or pastor that the purpose of the group you both attend is a different subject matter than religion, and what she's doing is off-topic, distracting, and unwelcomed.

If you don't have the nerve to do this in-person, then write a very pointed letter and address it to the pastor of her church. In fact leaving a paper trail might be the best idea, because then if you know a lawyer, you could indicate you are copying him or her on the letter (and if you really don't intend to pursue legal action, just let the lawyer know ahead of time you are just name-dropping to scare the crazy Jesus Lady off, that's all).


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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Pallando »

I used to be on the Board of Directors of a protestant church. Trust me.... at its heart, it's a business. Threaten the $$$ and watch the power people behind the scenes protect the flock from the actions of the crazy ones.
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Firebird »

Ok you all, well thank you for the interesting feedbacks.
The glamors are a good one thanks Kass, sometimes in the midst of stuff we forget the easy fix.
Since I will likely have to deal with this woman for another few months, until she has fulfiled her court mandated 6 months, I would rather not make real big waves, or threatening sounds.
She has already invited me to her church, no way...
But I may have a conversation about the grail and it's symbolism.
Bb, Firebird
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.”
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“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by planewalker »

Ask her if she believes in the 10 commandments. Do it loud enough that others there can hear. Ask if she believes in "Thou shall not kill". She'll agree with that one. Tell her it's"Thou shall not murder." in the Torah which are also 1st 5 books of the old testament. It went Hebrew to Aramaic to Greek to Latin to French to English. Ask her to find a Bible that has the proper translation. You should let everyone there know there are 538 commandments and you'll have nothing to do with a religion that has commandments about how to treat your slaves anyway, but she can do as she pleases. A Bible thumper can take most anything but having the truth told out loud in front of a crowd.
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by SnowCat »

Court mandated 6 months? That's a red flag. She has some sort of behavior issue that is supposed to be addressed by the meetings. It might be better to address the problem with whatever agency is hosting the group.

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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Kassandra »

SnowCat wrote:Court mandated 6 months? That's a red flag. She has some sort of behavior issue that is supposed to be addressed by the meetings. It might be better to address the problem with whatever agency is hosting the group.
True. I think her Bible thumping is really a way to get (what she perceives as) power over someone else by cornering that person and demanding an "It's my way or the highway" ultimatum, a no-win situation. Really sick, when you think about it. Energethically-speaking, it's almost like a kind of rape, really, rape of another person's spirit. Bleh, I will never understand how some people reason in their heads that acting like a classless parasite is actually going to make other people want to join their religion! I just don't get it, lol.


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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Newbiewitch94 »

Id personally troll her but then again i have no time for bible thumpers
In fact i like to use this quote when they try and gay shame me its said by one of my favorite AHS characters
"You know, I've never understood you Bible-thumpers and your hypocrisy towards sex. I know, behind closed doors, you are the biggest perverts of all"
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by Shadee »

My, this is really a situation I can't imagine to see here in my country ^^ Christianity has become a hobby for old people here in France. They are to busy fighting women, LGBT+ people, Muslims and metal festivals to pay attention to pagans...

I wouldn't know how to react either. When I was still with my girlfriend, we were frequently visited by Jehovah's witness. She was Hindu, and they kept insisting it was not an acceptable faith. She kept receiving them for some reason, and they argued at the door for an hour every Sunday. We both moved shortly after we broke up, so we never saw them again, but I suppose they would still be there if we had stayed.

Some people are not here to discuss, they are here to win their ticket to heaven, and that means converting as much people as possible to their faith ^^ There is no use reasoning with them... I think I'd just hide.
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Re: Help! I'm being stalked by an evanglist!

Post by corvidus »

When this happens to me (being Witnessed by Christians) I like to turn the conversation towards the philosophy behind the Scriptures. How the Holy Spirit manifests and creates all things is one of my favorites. Christians have a terrible understanding of the basic theory of Nature. And if you're more interested in Goddess, ask her questions in regard to Mother Mary as coded words for Goddess. You never know what enlightening things she'll say.

If anything, it will make the conversation more interesting and less one-sided.
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