How do you respond to negative/ignorant people?

[Granite]

Sorry to start a thread on a negative topic I'm not sure if this is the right subforum for this please let me know if there is a better place.
Have any of you run into the "paganism is devil worship/evil" type of people before? I am afraid to answer people who ask about religion for this reason and I'm afraid of losing friends over it. Though i suppose those people aren't good company anyways I don't want to start conflict and just say I dont like discussing it.
How do you personally answer these questions and what do you say if someone reacts badly?

[moonraingirl]

I think the answer will depend on the kind of person you are talking to.

Are they fundamentalist christian?
Average Christian?
Or don't care?
What's their opinion about other controversial topics such as gay rights?

Are they close family/friend/coworker/neighbour?- How much do you have to reveal?
It would be nice if you were more specific. Are you worried about your closest family who is super Christian? You see, for each kind of relationship the answer will be different.

In most cases it is best to say something like "I have a relationship with the divine/I'm interested in spirituality/I like to meditate/I work with herbs/I enjoy being in nature because it relieves stress.

When you say something like the above, you will appear that you do have some spirituality but it won't be evident exactly what kind. And you won't lie because it is true. I would say similar answer will be enough for most people. Truthful with low probability of conflict.

Anyway, I don't know about the culture where you live, but I only get this question very rarely, as most people around me simply don't care and/or it is inapropriate to ask such questions in most cases.
My rule would be if you are not asked, don't start the topic yourself. You have absolutely no obligation to inform other people about changes in your religion.

Now if you are asking about your spouse or your parents, it would be good if you described the situation in more detail so we can give you a better advice.

[Granite]

My family are very open so I have no concerns about that but the area I live in is very christian. My coworkers talk about religion as small talk and its one of the first questions people ask getting to know one another here. Except the question isnt even phrased like "what's your religion" but what denomination of christianity do you follow
I never bring it up but it's hard to avoid from others.
I dont have a specific person that i need advice on because i never directly answer those questions but I'm curious about others experiences

[moonraingirl]

That's great that your family is open! It's important to have support at home.

Theoretically, your coworkers shouldn't ask questions about that. However, I understand that it's difficult not to respond since you spend a lot of time with them.

I'm sure someone from your area will help you, because I'm not very familiar with culture of Bible belt. I know it's specific and it's difficult for me to answer. It's very different from what I'm used to.

[Newbiewitch94]

I just generally tell the truth I honestly don't care if they don't like it

[Ashrend]

The question I ask myself when I think about my path and telling others about it, is do I need to tell them? What benefit is it to me or them to know about my path. More often than not I find I don't need nor want to tell others about it in my daily life.

[SpiritTalker]

My boss's wife Once said those same words from the opening OP to me about a small crystal pendant I was wearing. I just said playfully "gee, that's 14th century thinking" and changed the subject . Oye ve. Why would I want to share my personal life with anyone not open to it?

The woman has many wonderful qualities and there are bazillions other topics we did connect on.

People do not have a right to ask personal questions. And we are under no obligation to satisfy their rudeness. Ask them " why do you ask?" and let them explain themselves. Ask "why do you believe what you said?" or even "where do you come from?" and if you get your tone juuust right, it'll suggest they dropped in from Uranus. Depends on how provocative you want to be.

[sungod]

I'm not public with my spirituality, though I am gay and it can be tough. I mostly get stares, haven't had anyone say something to me directly thank goodness. Though I have gotten into arguments about religion, God, same sex marriage abortion and such. But sometimes, it's just best to let it be. I distance myself from any possible disagreement and pray/do a spell/silent chant if I get into one. Tell myself on the inside that nobody NOBODY can fully judge who I am without knowing my insides, my mind, and soul. Their negativity and dark ways are not my weight to pull. My job is to love and spread kindness (my souls mantra anyway). I try not to wish ill on others because it can backfire. Their opinions on any topic is irrelevant. YOU know who you are, you know what I worship and stand for, it's your journey and as long as it's beautiful and makes you happy, do it. It doesn't hurt anyone, only hurts you if you don't follow your heart. I always hid and regressed out of fear that I love witchcraft and paganism. But everyone has different ways of connecting, and interests. Ours is no different. The people who are like you will understand and support you, hopefully your family does, and others... but if not, there is always love and light out there. This goes for anything you may struggle or disagree with others. I tell myself, I am happy worthy of love and do not need shit. If it doesn't make me better and affects my moods negatively, it's not worth my time. Most people are very open minded, though I said most. I live in the Bible Belt US and it's awful there I hate it. But you just gotta do you, it's in your veins. You won't lose your true friends, regardless of the circumstance. If you do, they don't deserve you. It's a form of destiny, let it flow... people come and go, time moves, but worrying hinders the process and lowers your vibration. I'm a hypocrite but it's hard to avoid it, though you can do anything. Especially for your own peace. If someone asks my religion, I just say spiritual. Since I find truth in almost all religions... the teachings come down to the same core. Practices can be chosen. If they act hostile or unreasonable, explain that you both have differences, yours is no different than theirs, and to please respect you as you do them. If they can't do that, just walk away. Being civil shows a lot about a person. Good luck & I hope everything goes smooth. Life's tough but you're tougher. Message me if needed or anyone else of the matter. Blessings ~


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[Newbiewitch94]

I'll be honest a lot of the hate I have received hasn't come from the religious community but from the gay community. It could just be the kind of men that seem to be attracted to me as I seem to either attract the really ignorant or the really stupid. By stupid I mean ones who ask questions like "I just googled Wicca why is a lot of stuff to do with witch craft coming up". Its mainly due to this that I've actually took a step back from dating and in some ways I actually prefer it. The thing is anyone I date has got to accept that my practice of the craft and religion comes first. So as I said I don't let it bother me anymore

[Shekinah]

This is why most of us engaged in the work force hide our true colors in the broom closet. Working as a PAC in an outpatient clinic in my post retirement years was enlightening to hear from many patients comments like "we should still be burning Witches". Most Bible thumpers know nothing about Wicca or Witchcraft nor are they willing to research and learn. Like a cult zombie they are hard wired by church, parent, school, peer and government from infancy to adulthood to believe Witches are evil servants of the devil. Today I no longer work nor give a damn what the world of Christendom thinks so I do unabashedly display my colors in competition with those who dangle their stupid cross in my face. I do on occasion hear muffled remarks like "ugh! look what he has around his neck and on his finger". "God is going to get him", etc. We can only feel sorry for the ignorance of so many infected by Christianity who apparently are not interested enough in their Spiritual welfare to consider that perhaps they might be wrong and that there is so much more beyond the confines of church and dogma to explore. We walk ever in the presence of Spirit in the cathedral of the heavens.

[jaybirdblue]

The area I live in is very christian. Not in the bible thumping kind of way, but more of a "We all expect everyone to be christian and if you're not you might as well have two heads" kind of vibe. Low key antisemitism, islamophobia, racism, and homophobia are the rule, not the exception around here. Its that insidious kind of intolerance where they'll smile in your face and tell you how open minded they are, and then fire you a week later because of it and laugh at you behind your back the whole time. Now, I am also saying this as a gay person, so I trust them even less, but it goes for any kind of minority in my experience.
A witch shop I frequent had a man actually walked right in and tried to start a fight with the owner because of the store even existing. He was screaming at her "If you're really a witch, make me drop dead!" It didnt get violent, but damn if it wasn't freaky.
As to how to deal with it? That is REALLY situational. If you are never going to see this person again, I say be as blunt as possible because, heck, youre never going to see them again. But If its in the workplace and you think people will discriminate against you? Maybe keep it low key, or dont bring it up at all. Safety is also a big issue.
I say when dealing with any disclosure of your hidden minority status, you need to consider two things.

1. Will it hurt you if you tell this person? (Aka: will you be safe if you do?)
2. Will it hurt you more if you DONT tell this person

Safety should always be your number one priority. But if its your family or friend though, number 2 might be more important. So its hard to tell in every situation.

As for how I deal with it...well, I'm kind of a know it all ahole, so I like to act polite and dumb and then confuse the hell out of people with all of the stuff I know. One time I was in a bookstore with my friend, and this man saw me reading the satanic bible (I'm not a satanist but I find Satanism interesting) and he starting ranting about how the devil was trying to trick me. Aaaaand then went on to say how this one town in the area is the witch capital in the world and how evil it was. So, I smile at him and tell him "Oh yes, neo-pagan religions and communities are extremely interesting and diverse. A lot of them incorporate a lot of eastern based practices into their belief systems and blah blah blah" you get the idea.
And this guy looks at me and kind of panics because he didnt actually expect me to KNOW about this stuff. I assume he just thought I was a dumb kid who picked up a book for laughs (which I did), not someone who knew what they were talking about.
So he just kind of goes "Ok well, don't read that book" and walks off. Me and my friend laughed our asses off as soon as he was out of earshot.
Anyway, like I said, it is really situational and personal. Be cautious but also know that youre not alone in it, and even if they degrade you, your religion is STILL important and you are still worthy of their respect.

[Blusnayl]

This is why most of us engaged in the work force hide our true colors in the broom closet. Working as a PAC in an outpatient clinic in my post retirement years was enlightening to hear from many patients comments like "we should still be burning Witches". Most Bible thumpers know nothing about Wicca or Witchcraft nor are they willing to research and learn. Like a cult zombie they are hard wired by church, parent, school, peer and government from infancy to adulthood to believe Witches are evil servants of the devil. Today I no longer work nor give a damn what the world of Christendom thinks so I do unabashedly display my colors in competition with those who dangle their stupid cross in my face. I do on occasion hear muffled remarks like "ugh! look what he has around his neck and on his finger". "God is going to get him", etc. We can only feel sorry for the ignorance of so many infected by Christianity who apparently are not interested enough in their Spiritual welfare to consider that perhaps they might be wrong and that there is so much more beyond the confines of church and dogma to explore. We walk ever in the presence of Spirit in the cathedral of the heavens.

Amen.

[RyukaAscendant]

I live in Kansas. Most people don't really care here and when someone pops up that does the thing that usually shuts them down is complete transparency and pride. If I show I'm not ashamed or afraid and that I'm proud of it most people will become sheepish about it. Only the most staunch Christians will pursue trying to convert me. But honestly the KC Metro area has a lot of us and the number is fairly high even as far west as Topeka.

[Wolf]

I tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine, only in a less polite way. We are our deeds. I let the way I live my life reflects my faith and its merits. If they can't be bothered to see it I can't be bothered with them.

[Firedrake]

After many years of struggling with the question, I finally stopped giving a rip. The vast majority of the time, when I feel compelled to reveal my spirituality, even the most obnoxious Bible-belter hasn't actually planned out how they would respond to such an unlikely event, and usually just freezes. Often, there's the faint sound of a paradigm shifting without a clutch.

Them: "What church do you go to?"

Me: "Actually, I'm a new-age crystal waver."

Them: "....uh..."

When ignorance does occur, I again don't have the energy to give a rip. Usually I just agree and amplify.

Them: "Don't you want to go to heaven?"

Me: "Can't smoke, can't drink, can't toke, can't have lots of sex, can't listen to cool music, have to learn the harp? Naa, I'll pass."

Them: "You should worry about eternal damnation!"

Me: "Really? Ok. ....[concerned look]... There, I worried about it."

The advantage I have which allows this is I'm not a small man, and I don't work in an environment where my bosses care about anything other than how fast I can stack boxes. YMMV.