Relationship with your beliefs.

[Garnetsun]

Merry meet everyone !

I have seen a lot of threads about relationships with the Elements, Deities and Divinity, psychic powers and supernatural beings. And also about relationships between two differents religions or beliefs, and how they can or could fit alongside each other.

But what about your personal relationship with your faith or belief ? While I realize it may be indiscreet to ask such a thing of you, i'm also quite curious about how we could perceive our own faith. Curiosity and the cat, so to speak. and well, it is apparently the Coming Out of the Witch's closet day -ah pun-.

For the personal input, I deeply realized how difficult my relationship to my faith is. While being absolutely sure of the rightness of the Pagan path for me, crossing the path from observant to practicioner is well, not easy at all. While being in this community really helped, and still does! Being lost, and found, and lost again to be found once more is quite the happening for me. Self-discovery is essential to me, and it reflected in my path, and the tests towards those beliefs I hold. And well, I truly sense it has only began!
But going through times when my faith is challenged really has an impact. while it strenghtens it at the end, the path from the doubt to the "revelation" is hurtful. "Is it the good choice ? Am I doing it right ? Why am I doing it ? How will other perceive this ? Why me ?" are questions that come often, and seldom have the same answers.

It is a good thing, I believe. For paganism is and individual view, and usually a journey we do alone, with helpful companions that come and go; but well, it is using. It may be a test of some sort, to see who can "truly" go on this journey and fulfill it at its best, but it is also quite different to each other.

So, to me, this relationship is totally bittersweet. it hurts, it soothes, it comes right but also full of doubts. it is the road not taken yet, but which we thrive to go by.

If you accept, what about you ?

[IrishStrong]

I agree with you It is bittersweet, and my relationship with the faith is extremely complicated.

It doesn't help that I'm new to all of this, but it also doesn't help that I come from a completely Christian background. One day I found some pentacle necklaces in the store and I was looking at them very closely, and my boyfriend slapped my hand and told me not to pay any mind to "those devil worshiper symbols." Being the bullheaded woman that I am, I defended the pentacle, and told him that he was ignorant and wrong, and went on to explain that as a Wiccan, I do not believe in the Devil, or Hell. It took him a few days to even talk to me after that, but he eventually came around.

It's really difficult for me to be out about it as well. I hide it most of the time. For example, I do not yet wear a pentacle, and I only left my religious views up on Facebook for about a day before just making it my business alone. I guess you could say that for me, the biggest struggle in the relationship with my new-found faith is my want to please everyone else as well.

However, I find this faith to be so good for me. It's made me a stronger, more independent, and pleasant person. I have no regrets. My problem is mostly just the social aspect.

[IrishStrong]

Update: I just bought my first pentacle necklace today in light of the full moon tonight

And yeah, it's hard with relationships, but my boyfriend hasn't given me any more lip over it. He mostly just overlooks anything I say when it comes to religion, period. Therefore, it's more of a moot point between us now. I wish you luck on finding a good girl though she's out there somewhere!

[Rainbowkiss]

I want to have a heartfelt personal relationship with the goddess but I wonder how.

[Echo_of_shadows]

I've felt that being a Witch was right for me from the very beginning, but in a way I'm still in the broom closet. I guess you can say that I hide in there behind the coats, but I left the door open. I know that this is the path I want to be on and though I have thought about other paths, I don't think this is something I can give up. It feels too natural to me.
My difficulty lies with other people. Although I have worked with others in the past, I'm not quite comfortable with others knowing what I am doing. A lot of time I wait until I'm positive that no one will disturb me before I do any spells or rituals. I've been fortunate enough to have significant others that have had no problems with my beliefs, but I've always waited for them to be gone or asleep to do anything. My current boyfriend is probably the most accepting of those I've been with, but honestly, I'm nervous about asking him for time to myself to do rituals. I know that I could ask him and he'd be ok with it, but my fear is one of those of the irrational variety.
Is my relationship with my beliefs bittersweet? Yes. Totally worth it though? Absolutely.

[Obsidian]

I've only started exploring spirituality in the last month so my relationship with my beliefs may change. I am not ready to label myself or 'come out of the broom closet' - I am still exploring my spiritual options.

At the moment I have not told anyone about my current exploration of wicca. I am even a little bit concerned about having a picture of myself as my avatar (obviously not that concerned if I still haven't removed it). This is for two reasons; firstly, my spirituality is my business. I am more of a reserved person so I don't talk about personal things like my spirituality, personal philosophies or emotions. Secondly, I am a little worried that most people I know have misconceptions of witches and pagan religions and I do not think anything I say or do will change that. I might change their opinion of me (for the worse) but I don't think it will change their mind.

This second point makes me feel a little bit guilty as I feel that I am not pulling my weight. If every practitioner of paganism, witchcraft etc. were to stay silent, than nothing would be done to combat these misconceptions I am concerned about. Witch hunts may even still be carried out. This is the only part of my relationship with my beliefs that I wrestle with. Otherwise, I am leaning towards being eclectic. That way, I can only follow beliefs and rituals that make sense to me and I can practice my spirituality with 100% sincerity and integrity and this makes me feel content.

[Klia]

LOVE that you made a thread like this. I love hearing people's paths on this way of life.

When I first started researching and understanding what this religion was, I --for sure-- thought I would never convert to it. I deeply enjoyed making my own BOS without actually being Wiccan/Pagan. Eventually I decided that for some reason, this faith always came back up in my life. And every time it did, it felt right. It felt like there was a reason why Wicca drew me in. I eventually went with it and will hopefully never look back! Besides, Christianity just never suited me. I doubted it too much.

I am not Wiccan, however. I am Pagan. All the branches of Paganism (eclectic) are interesting. I have always believed religion and spirituality should be private and told to whom will appreciate it and care. I do not believe in going to church, singing songs, reading the bible back and forth would make me more religious or a better person. I love being solitary. I love doing my own thing whenever I want, however I want. But that is also when doubt comes into play... Of course like anyone else, I do doubt myself, whether I'm doing things right, if I'm the one for this path, if I'll ever change my mind, etc. But we live in the now and this is the path I want to explore and live on. I love this path.

I do not tell anyone I'm Pagan because it shouldn't matter to them. I do not wear a pentacle at all, have no witchy tattoos, not even a sign in my home that I am pagan. There are little signs but not as big as an altar - just my witchy books and Ganesh pictures. My altar is hidden because I do not have enough room for a permanent one. Plus, it's personal and people don't need to bother me with questions when they come over.

Echo_of_Shadows, your mention of whether or not your relationship with your beliefs being bittersweet is the perfect way of putting it. Everyone goes through the ups and downs, the whys and hows, but if you're committed then it'll work itself out and be more than you imagined.

And Obsidian, I agree. If all Pagans kept hush-hush, we may not have converted at all. This is the perfect place to get everything out and learn more.

[Klia]

Thanks Valmont. Yes, we shouldn't doubt ourselves. Maybe we're just trying to be the best we can be. It's not all the time I doubt, just when I'm down. But I always get over it and learn more. I want to be spiritual. There are some that say if you're not practicing the religion exactly how it was intended, then you're defacing the religion. But I know I'm not doing that. Just want to make everything perfect...

You a MM fan? I like your signature.

[IrishStrong]

I guess you can say that I hide in there behind the coats, but I left the door open.

This is the most perfect quote I've ever seen. I am totally 100% related to that.

I wear a pentacle now, I have an altar, I don't lie if people ask me, but I'm still not...out there.

But really maybe we don't have to be. It's our business, after all. It's not like other religions (except maybe one...but I'm not naming names) go around stomping about society stuffing their beliefs down everybody's throats. My point is that maybe there is no broom closet. Just a path that we may occasionally pass others on.

But then again, I'm new. So don't quote me on that.

[Lillady]

I have considered myself Pagan for about 20 years now. In my early years it was defintely a roller coaster ride. As back then most didn't understand as they do now (many still don't understand). After I lost my dad at 12 I began talking with spirits and practicing spells. I researched as much as I could, I had the support from my mom. All was great until she passed away when I was 15. My aunt took custody of me and I had to uproot myself. This was pure hell for me, not only was I now a teen with both parents deceased, but I was not allowed in any shape, form or fashion allowed to study or practice my faith. My aunt was an over religious Christian who told me I would burn in hell for the things I was studying. Man did we have our fall outs. I do not know how many times I yelled at her telling her I do not believe in the devil, or hell how the world would I burn in eternity. Of course she didnt listen. I was made to repent for my sins, get saved, baptized again (I was christened Catholic at birth). When I met my first husband he didn't agree with my beliefs either so for a good 10 year gap I was faking my beliefs. Those were the worst years ever. I always felt complete when I was able to practice, meditate etc. Now here I am in my 2nd marriage, my husband understands and supports me and I have been able to fully embrace my faith for the past going on 7 years now. I love being complete in my faith. I hope that others who have struggled like me will be able to find that happiness and fullness in their faith as well.