Why am I getting so angry!?

[Mandie Moonstone]

I want to begin this by saying this is not a slam against Christianity. Everyone can choose their own way of believing and I know that if i want anyone to accept mine I must in turn accept theirs.

That being said I have noticed lately that when watching TV or hearing family members talk or even strangers for that matter about Halloween or even more so Christmas from the Christian point of view I have to hold my tongue. I live in a very rural southern town and if you aren't Christian then you're the Devil around here. I am still "in the broom closet" so when these things come up I tend to just keep quiet. The media and a lot of the public just seem to feed the lies and misconceptions surrounding such holidays and their true origins and even when they do "try" to add them in they do so in a negative light or totally get it wrong. I've spent the past 8 months researching and reading on Paganism and Wicca and the traditions and origins of such, I'm guessing that's a big reason as to why I am more aware of these things now when I hear them.

What bothers me is the amount of anger I feel now regarding this. Before I could just ignore it now I just want to grab them and shake them while screaming "You are all a bunch of sheep who blindly follow with no real understanding of what you believe!!". I don't of course, but it is very tempting....grrrrr. I know I should just let it go, you can't change the world's view on something, but it is very bothersome.

Does anyone have a good meditation I could use to help me to deal with this. I have always been a passive person so my reaction to this lately is disturbing to me.

[Vesca]

I think this is something a lot of people go through at some point or another during their "pagan path."

Personally, because I can see the underlying ideals behind holidays (similar symbols, mentalities, practices, etc...) and having a decent idea of how they evolved from the seasonal turnkeys to what they are today, I don't really notice many of the differences anymore. They're so similar in practice it's not even worth the grief. When it comes to those people who swear up and down that those who practice the pagan variants of those festivities are demon spawn... I just find them cute.

It may do you some good to dig into the similarities between holidays in the long-term. In the short run, anything that helps you to keep your own perspective in the moment is helpful. If meditation works for you, go for it. But it can include things like exercising before a family get-together, yoga, singing out loud in the car, cooking, reading, or otherwise indulging in your creative, spiritual side. Personally, I do all those things and sometimes it just comes down to physically distancing myself (going out for a walk if things get weird).

If you're anything like me, digging into the roots of the holidays will do wonders though.

[SnowCat]

This really resonates with me right now. At work, we are having the nurses Christmas party in December 17, complete with gift exchange. I've been feeling "Grinchy," asking myself how to manage the situation. Blindly participating wiuld be anathema to my faith. Not participating would be misunderstood. My remedy is to purchase a nice gift that honors my faith without shoving it down someone's throat. I'm not sure what it will be, but it will have pagan overtones. Sometimes gentle disagreement and education is the best path.

Frosty

[Klia]

I understand where you are coming from. Some Christians think or assume that everyone is Christian, and if they're not, they need to be. Even the bible claims that god's word is to teach his ways and basically convert people. I have a cousin who is doing missionary work in Asia for her church right now. Though I love her because she is family, I completely disagree with the fact that she and many others are converting 'non-believers' into their beliefs. How would you like it if a bunch of people came to your door and told you "this is the path you should follow, not that one, we will save you! don't worry it's not too late!". It's like when people campaigning for the president come by and try to tell you who to vote for. I hate it. Soooo many people are close minded in this world. I had a professor say - in class - that Halloween was a sacrilegious holiday and basically a devil worshipping holiday. I wanted to tell him off, but he's the one who gives me my grades to pass that class!

Anyhoo, before I start getting angry again ha. The only thing I can say to to give those people love and light in your meditations. Understand that they sound ignorant or that they have no idea what they are talking about. But pray or hope that one day they realize this and have an epiphany and think "oh man, I've got this all wrong, I've really offended people, maybe not everyone wants to be like me and do the things I do." With this religion, you really have to put yourself in other people's shoes. You can't hate, you can't be mean or rude, you just have to look into their spirit or personality and find something good about them. Know that we are all equal and should feel equal. We are the minority, unfortunately, but when someone says something that you want to jump their throat over, close your eyes and count to 5. Know your beliefs are different from theirs, that this is YOUR way or YOUR path and theirs is theirs.

Anger is just the human way of not showing our sad emotions.

[Xiao Rong]

Anger is just the human way of not showing our sad emotions.

I'd like to respectfully disagree : )

I think getting angry, even getting furious, is an absolutely natural and logical response to this experience, which is Christian privilege. The fact that a dominant faith can not only ignore the beliefs and practices of other communities, but actively marginalize and demonize other faiths, amounts to oppression. I am not suggesting that we are in imminent danger of witch hunts (although in other countries, some pagans really are), and Paganism isn't the only community that experiences this. But I think that anger is an totally justifiable and understandable reaction.

And I think that anger is a great thing, used properly. I think it's good that we react with anger to things that should anger us, because that dissatisfaction with the way the world is currently is what drives change. I don't think that we should be seeking to to downplay these feelings or dismiss them as improper or unseemly.

Now, I do entirely understand if expressing that anger at your professors or coworkers and yelling at them in public is a bad idea. And the purpose of this anger should be to create positive change, not to just lash out. That's why witches not only know, will, and dare, but also know when to keep silent. Pick your battles wisely - it's also true that some people's opinions won't change. But I've found that disclosing your faith to the people who will listen and take it to heart, and who can in turn change the minds of others, can have this awesome ripple effect to produce greater understanding and tolerance of diversity. And participating in a Pagan community (like this one), public Pagan events, contributing to the public online presence of Pagans, donating to Pagan causes - these are all great ways to put that anger to good use. Isn't that what magic is? Raising energy and then directing it towards a purpose to make intentional change.

[valerian moon]

I really only meditate one way, by sitting on a pillow on my floor naked (for comfort, I live in Florida) with the lights off and nature sounds playing. It only works for a bit though.... A few minutes after I feel angry again. But its a nice quick fix.

[Mandie Moonstone]

I think getting angry, even getting furious, is an absolutely natural and logical response to this experience, which is Christian privilege. The fact that a dominant faith can not only ignore the beliefs and practices of other communities, but actively marginalize and demonize other faiths, amounts to oppression.

This completely sums it up for me I think. Comments and remarks made about Paganism in any form, if said about Christianity, would be headline news and bring utter outrage to the majority. I guess this is part of belonging to a minority.

[Mandie Moonstone]

I understand where you are coming from. Some Christians think or assume that everyone is Christian, and if they're not, they need to be. Even the bible claims that god's word is to teach his ways and basically convert people.

Klia, that too is a big part of it. Believe what you want but why try to push it down the throats of anyone who doesn't feel your way? I'm all for discussion and learning of others ways of believing and more importantly WHY they personally believe it but it's that almost elitist attitude that really gets my fur up! I think I will just focus on handling this feeling from the perspective that they are just too close minded to know any better and wish them like you said, love and light.

[Mandie Moonstone]

This really resonates with me right now. At work, we are having the nurses Christmas party in December 17, complete with gift exchange. I've been feeling "Grinchy," asking myself how to manage the situation. Blindly participating wiuld be anathema to my faith. Not participating would be misunderstood. My remedy is to purchase a nice gift that honors my faith without shoving it down someone's throat. I'm not sure what it will be, but it will have pagan overtones. Sometimes gentle disagreement and education is the best path.

Frosty

Snowcat, that sounds like the perfect way to deal with that. My mind is stirring at the many options for that gift. I have at times made comments in conversation when these things come up, such as to inform my hubby that the Pentacle is actually a symbol used for protection not devil worship, but I've done so more in the tone of "Oh by the way did you know" rather than "My Pagan brothers and sisters use this as..". Slowly educating him so that when I decide to let him in on my chosen path he may be more open to hearing my reasons instead of jumping to wild conclusions based on misconception.

[Klia]

Thanks Mandie. It might be hard especially if it's just 'one of those days'. But you can learn a lot from those types of people. Like a how-not-to-act-towards people ha.

And Xiao, I agree with you. I guess I meant more if the emotion hits you emotionally and spiritually, some bottle the sadness or anger up because they feel they are being judged or made fun of. At least I do!

[Xiao Rong]

Klia, you are totally right when you say that some people bottle it up and that can be unhealthy. My main concern is that sometimes we try so hard to be love and light Pagans and counter the negative stereotype of witches that we forget that anger (especially justifiable, righteous anger) can be a really powerful tool that can help us. I know I'm speaking in broad generalizations, but ....

[Klia]

That makes sense. Sometimes anger is the only thing people understand. It's like you can't get your point across unless you stand up and stand your ground. But not to just come at a person all angry is what I was trying to get at. That doesn't necessarily help sometimes either.

[__Oracle__]

People fear what they do not understand. Despite all the negativity, it is best to keep positive. I feel being around negative people is very draining. Whenever I feel angry, I usually take a cleansing bath it helps to take my mind off of it.

[Heartsong]

I know where you're coming from, Mandie.

I also live in a very rural, ultra Christian area. Other than my immediate family and my best friend, no one around here knows that I am not a follower of the Christian faith. I don't lie about it, but I just kind of smile and divert the conversation when the question of religion pops up. People are extremely intolerant here, and it's very dangerous for someone to not follow the norm. I knew one boy who was gay in my class when I was in high school. To "cure" him, several members of the football team cornered him late one afternoon and threatened to rape him. Due to the fact that it was a small town, a private school, and many of those boy's father ran/run this town, it was hushed up and members of the police force were paid off when the boy's mother reported the incident. And the really, really sickening part to me is that these guys not only claimed to be Christian, their fathers approved of their actions and they are still deacons in the local churches! Blessedly, the young man and his family moved, although not by choice, they were run out of town, but at least they were able to get out without any harm coming to him. I still keep in touch with him and I'm happy to report that he's in a very stable and happy relationship, with the full and loving support of his family.

I simply can't fathom how this kind of behavior can be rewarded as it was in this extreme case, but it was and is. These guys went on to graduate and a couple of them received scholarships for football. If this happened in a large city or somewhere that wasn't as isolated, it would have made national headlines. The only reason I stay in the area is for some of my elderly relatives. I honestly fear being found out and what could happen to my own family if it was made public that I was a Wiccan. It makes me angry, too, and scared.

Here's the conundrum for me. I taught Sunday school for years before I found my path and I know the scriptures backwards and forwards. According to most modern Christians that I have grown up around, the most important parts of the bible are the ten commandments and the words of Christ. When I was teaching, I always reminded my kids that the only commandment Jesus ever gave was, "Go forth and sin no more." He never argued, he never reacted in intolerance or anger to those with different beliefs, and he certainly didn't shove his own down other people's throats. He encouraged his disciples and his followers to ask questions and to study. He encouraged peace and meekness. He didn't set out to spread his belief or the Word of God by the sword or by the hurtful spears of words. What he most often spoke of, in fact, was forgiveness, patience and love. It is these three concepts that are the most sorely lacking among many Christians today.

And what keeps people from understanding them is ignorance. Ignorance of history and the blood shed in the name of religion. Ignorance of where we've come from and how humanity has carved its past in the flesh of those conquered and erased. Ignorance of the price we have paid and that our children will pay for our disrespect, our harshness, and our apathy to the state of our world and our Earth.

It isn't only their eyes that need opening, but ours as well. Everyone can give an example of people who are a poor example of what they preach. I think that's why Wicca isn't just a religion. It's a lifestyle, as Christianity should be, as all religions should be. It's faith of a different kind, a faith that what we believe can not only affect our present, but also our future. I'm not saying that we're the specially enlightened ones, or that other beliefs are completely oblivious to the spiritual needs of the world. Rather, I put forth that by encouraging people, by stimulating their minds and challenging their opinions, we can help break the cycle that humanity has been locked in for so many centuries. The past is a testament to what fear, shallowness, and malice have accomplished.

I don't hate Christians. I struggle with feeling animosity, something we all do, I think, but I don't hate them. In fact, I have a great deal of respect for the teachings of Jesus as recorded in the bible, as I do for all the great scholars and philosophers that have tried to light a beckon in the darkness. In my opinion, he was one of the greatest practitioners of magic that was ever born. He tried to change the world with purpose, vision, and love, and to a certain extent he succeeded. His words and his teachings reached far and wide, across oceans and time. Don't we try to do the same, to our own little worlds at least? And yet this commonality is ignored, along with the celebrations once shared in the far reaches of our past. Follow the branches far enough with your fingertips and eventually you find the root shared by all. We should all look at history with hearts and eyes wide, even as the tears gather.

We, humanity, have so much potential for mercy, grace, and kindness. To me, knowledge is the path to tolerance. It isn't much of a leap from tolerance to acceptance and from acceptance to love. To accomplish that, in every corner of the world, would be the greatest act of magic fathomable.

[Firebird]

Hi Mandie, I can completely relate to what you are going through, I think we all have experienced some form of what you are sensing. Vesca mentioned grief, and I feel that is what is really going on...this experience may fall in the realm of grief. What we are experiencing is a loss as mentioned in Xiao's link to the Christian privilege...not even just Christian any more, other religions are becoming more main stream, yet Wicca is still poo-pooed. One of the first stages of grief is anger, anger stems from fear or hurt, and perhaps many of us are both, we get slammed all the time for being devil worshipers and you never know when some hard core crazy person is going to do something to you because they don't understand what it is to be a witch. That scares me all the time. Also being misunderstood and thought of as strange hurts too.Then if ever some unscrupulous pagan ends up on the national news, we all get labeled. So, I think you are right on track with normal feelings.
Miss Snow Cat finds her coping in secretly putting her symbolism into the gift she gives, empowering her faith while still participating in the majority party ( I like candles Snow , return of the light!).
I too have anger for being misunderstood, but that is only taking my energy from me. Ya, it is good to stand up for our rights, it is one of the reasons I belong to a church that is recognized by the state, it is how I have channeled my anger into my stand of strength. Yet I remain largely "not in your face" about it, if someone asks me, Ill talk. That's how we get understood.
So I understand your need to keep yourself safe and that is frustrating. I feel any Christian that is truly walking the path of Jesus teachings will understand that we are human first.

We, humanity, have so much potential for mercy, grace, and kindness. To me, knowledge is the path to tolerance. It isn't much of a leap from tolerance to acceptance and from acceptance to love. To accomplish that, in every corner of the world, would be the greatest act of magic of all.

There is a possibility of Jesus being brought to ancient England by Joesph of Arimathea and learning his lessons as a young man from the Druids of Brittany. This ELP song reminds me of the spread of Christianity. This was first a poem written by William Blake who too was a Druid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4bzRI0BUv0

I posted this version because of the commentary along with the lyrics.
Blessings Mandie, from Firebird