How to answer questions about "good/bad" witches...

[Truthseeker]

Hello all-
The other day my fiance' saw me reading 'Wicca- A Guide For The Solitary Practitioner', and he asked me-'so, you're going to become wiccan? Start practicing it, witchcraft?" To which I replied-"I already am." His answer-"No you're not." (by which he meant 'You aren't really a witch-witch.' Mind you I had already, after much agonizing, told him I am a witch. He was ok with it, but he doesn't REALLY understand what that means. I went on to try to explain to him that I have always believed the way I do, but that I never realized it was defined and really was/is an existing 'belief system'. He was thinking of people who do dark magick and I attempted to explain to him that 'real' witches do NOT do harmful things to people. To which he replied-"Yes, some DO. Just like there are Baptists and Pentecostals and different kinds of christians, there are different kinds of witches."
I COULD NOT ARGUE WITH HIM. Because I do know that this is so.
SSSOOO~~~ how do you explain this to people? We SAY that our #1 rule is "Harm none" and that true witches never try to cause harm -BUT- where do the other ones come in? What are they? They are witches, too are they not, even though they are 'bad witches'?
I can go into the whole thing about WICCANS do no harm but that is just a fraction of those who call themselves witch and who use witchcraft for whatever purpose, and so that does not answer the issue.
I just read on another site that "true witches never seek to harm" and I know that is commonly held to be true- but what to say to his (and others') observation that SOME witches DO use witchcraft for evil (don't crucify me, LOL- if you have a better descriptive wording, feel free)???

[MoonlitOrchid]

There will never be a group of people who are all good or bad. Trying to defend an entire group would be counter productive to your cause- especially since he doesn't fully understand the concept you're trying to convey in the first place. Most people get their 'facts' from tv and movies. I would suggest keeping it simple for him and everyone else. Say you are Wiccan and practice Witchcraft and that you uphold the Rede - use yourself as the example and speak about your experiences. Live the magickal life in front of him and he'll begin to understand and see what a Witch is.
There are also non-Wiccan Witches who do not have the Rede written into their tradition and still believe in not harming anyone. Each Witch regardless of Tradition or path is accountable to themselves for their conduct whether it's in writing or not. It all comes down to the character of the person themselves- regardless of what title they give themselves. That's why it's impossible to defend everyone. There will always be some nut job who is in the minority that will draw criticism.
I wouldn't worry about it or try to argue. After all, he does love you and trust you. He'll realize that you didn't change just because of his realization that your Wiccan. I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Blessings : )

[sanoyikamama]

While Wiccans stick to the idea of harm none, there are those of us who us, such as myself, who live by a code of ethics, part of which is if you harm me be prepared to face the consequences. It basically falls into, what are you going to do to protect yourself and others. I have items in me home that are cursed, in the aspect of if one comes into my house with ill intent, than some nasty things are going to come upon them. The other aspect of things falls into what you believe. Witchcraft isn't religion, it's something we incorporate into ourselves, so if you're a religious person, it will combine with what you believe.

The basic way to answer this question of describing witches is actually simple; it's all up to the individual. If they are a bad person, they will do bad things. If they are a good person, they will do good things. Witchcraft isn't religion, it's something we incorporate into ourselves, so if you're a religious person, it will combine with what you believe.

[Truthseeker]

Thanks- he knows I really believe the Law of Three and its funny, he's not religious but he firmly believes it too. So , yeah, I like that- there are good and bad 'everythings', lol

[p3nathan]

The word 'warlock' means oath breaker and that has been linked to witches who use the craft for evil... but hardly anyone uses that term any more, firstly because it's hard enough convincing people that witches can be male never mind trying to convince them a warlock could possibly be female... secondly because we're more inclined to believe that things aren't so simple, the world has an awful lot of grey area in it whether we like it or not. It's all in the individual, labelling is pretty much unavoidable, but all that really matters is what you feel is true.

[Ula]

There are good and bad people in every faith. Being pagan or a witch doesn't make it more or less so.

[foreverchilde]

I think, that if you are following a Truth.. something that is just IN YOU.. as in every Spirituality.. it is a 'quietness' within you. If you are following the Wiccan Path.. the true Path.. . there will be no question of 'good' or 'bad' .. alot of people come into Wiccan with a particular mind-set.. A true Witch .. solitary.. or in a group.. that takes WORK.

The Rituals are no good if you don't understand the Path.

[Truthseeker]

Ula- that is pretty much what he said and I simply replied-"you just said a mouthful, hear what you just said"