Deep sea dream...

[Shadee]

All my recent talks on this forum made me think of one specific dream I made this year... It might have been a few months back.

As you may know already, I am dead scared of water. I like the sea, but only from a safe distance, or when it's low and we can walk on the foreshore. Just google "thalassophobia", I think it might just be that...

Well, here's my dream. I was near a small fishing village on the beach, but I couldn't see the ocean anywhere. It was just wet rocks, algae and barnacles as far as the eye could see. In France, we call it the "estran".
Strangely, I felt attracted. I just needed to catch a glimpse the water at the end. So I started walking. I walked for some time, and the farther I went from the coast, the more slippery it got. I fell several times in the algae, I felt like I was slowly sinking in the sludge. I was starting to be covered in kelp, so much so that I couldn't tell it from my own skin anymore. Finally, my head sunk.

When I opened my eyes again, the sea had come up. The surface was hundreds of meters above, yet I could breathe normally. All around me, the deep sea lived. There were fishes, shells, more kelp... It was dark, but I didn't feel threatened. In real life, I would have fainted right there, I know I would have. But there I was, a small living thing between gigantic, sunken monuments that kinda looked like pyramids. When I tried to swim, I realized I was not myself anymore. I was not even human-like, I was some sort of black, mossy squid, with a luminescent head. I just swam around for a while. There were a few others like me, but they were too far away to reach, and they didn't seem to acknowledge me.

But then, I saw some sort of pale light in the dark. Near a collapsed bridge was a beautiful woman, she was radiating with an attractive glow. She looked like she was wearing a large dress, but I realized it was all just part of her membranous body. She was like a mermaid, only her bottom was like the bell of a jellyfish. She smiled at me, and already I felt small.

There was something so motherly about her. She asked me how I got here, but she wasn't expecting an answer. Instead, she made me human again, and I felt even smaller. I tried to come to her, but she gently warned me about not touching her many slim tentacles, so I wouldn't get hurt. Then, I felt lifted like a baby, and she told me a few words I can't seem to remember. Something about birth, or "coming back"...

The last thing I saw was a modern city from the sky. Maybe my own. Then it all stopped. I woke up feeling confused.

Today, I get chills when I try to picture this place again. All this water around me, and the things lurking in it... but I know it felt alright when I was there. This lady... she helped me like she would've helped a lost child. I liked her, I felt like I wanted to be near her.

Could this be that I actually met someone in my sleep...?

[SpiritTalker]

I think you need to decide that for yourself.

[Shadee]

I tried to meditate last night... I wanted to see if I could reach her again. But I got stuck.

Once again I was walking on the deep sea floor, and again there was no water. It felt really empty and lonely. There were gigantic cracks around me, and I dared to peek down. It was way to deep. There was some sort of boiling sound at the bottom. Then I saw it. Water, tons of it. It was rising from the depths, and I started to scream. It raised way to fast, and I couldn't do anything. I hid in a small crack, and the water covered me. I could breathe normally, but I couldn't look outside.

I stayed like this for a while. I felt things brush against me, and I almost lost it. But something called out to me. I finally found the guts to look between my fingers...

She was there, far away, turned to face me. I think she had the same soft expression on her face. I felt like a child again. But I couldn't cross the path to meet her. It was like an abyssal rift, it was so large and deep, I could barely keep my meditation going. I just couldn't move. Each time I thought it might be okay, some gigantic sea creature would pass by and make me panic. That was too much to face.

I couldn't cross. After some time, everything went blurry and it all ended.

I'm not sure I can do it again. I'm just not ready for such a thing. I'll pass ^^"

[SpiritTalker]

I'm a bit unclear on what you wanted to accomplish. You've faced a fear. Bravo

[Shadee]

I don't know, I feel like it's important somehow. It felt like a gentle challenge or something. Like when a woman steps into the sea up to her knees, then calls to her child so they can to the same. Like, "See? It's okay, it's safe, you can do it too." Only it didn't feel safe at all to me... it was too big of a step.

I don't think I can overcome this just now. I don't want to go there again, I need more time. Maybe later.

[Firebird]

Hi, this my interpretation of your dream.
Water has almost always an emotional component. Something is so overwhelming to the point that you found yourself at the bottom of the ocean. Same with the slippery slimy stuff, something is making you feel like this is a slippery slope to be treading or something thats feel slimy and underhanded yet somehow whatever is filling you with this emotional burden you were able to power through and cope. The woman may be a radiant light of reason who is warning you that this burden will shock you or in some other way eat at you because it is not on the up and up.
Bb, Firebird

[Shadee]

Well, I know I'm an over sensible ball of emotions... but water, it only means fear to me. To dream of it in such a different way, it really shook me. I don't know what to think...

[SpiritTalker]

Then for heaven 's sake, don't do so. Give yourself credit. Move on. Nobody is making you but you yourself. Either do it or don't. Decide and follow thru.

[Shadee]

I know... it's just that I feel there's something important to it. It's like seeing a diamond at the bottom of a lake: I know I can't reach it, but I know it's there. It's hard to just go away, and it's hard to try and reach for it. This is almost ironic...