Goodbye dreams

[smogie_michele]

A few years ago, I had a weird dream about a man that I had only met a few times. I don’t know why, but it has been weighing on my mind heavily today and I feel like sharing the experience will help me to feel a little better. I’m not exactly looking for any feedback or suggestions, but thoughts on the experience are very welcome.

My mother and grandmother have told me that when I was younger, I would often wake up from naps and bedtime telling them about dreams I had. Some of them were fanciful, regular little kid dreams. Others were seemingly about family that have passed away that I have never met. I would tell them things about these people that I should have had no knowledge of. For example, my mom told me that I once woke up and told her about the “man in my room last night,” who sang me a song about a girl who was 16 and he played the guitar. He also read me a book and when he did he put on glasses, but I insisted that he hated his glasses and only wore them when he read. She was shocked and scared, its unsettling hearing your 4 year old tell you about a strange man in her room. She asked me him name, and I told her that I called him “Pee-Paw Steve.”
Her father passed away when she was very young. Every night, he would play his guitar and sing the song “Only 16,” to my mother instead of bed time stories… But if she insisted on him reading, he would grumble because he hated wearing his glasses. His name was Steve. After piecing together the information, she took me to my grandmother’s house and had me look through old photo albums, without any prompting I pointed to the picture of my biological grandfather (grandmother was remarried, and I was young, so as far as they were concerned, there was no need explaining that the man I knew as my grandfather was not related to me by blood), and said “that is my Pee-Paw Steve. He is my blood grandfather, Pawdaddy is my heart grandfather.”
I had dreams much like this about my family until I was about ten or so.


A few years ago, the day before Cody and I went to the Renaissance Festival, I had a dream about a man named Mr. Marshal who owned a kaleidoscope shop. Cody and I always loved going to visit him- he was the most amazing, strange, hyperactive and loving old man in the entire world and he always remembered me. He had been making kaleidoscopes for most of his career- so long in fact, Cody was gifted with one of his one of a kind pieces when he was only five. In my dream, he had welcomed me into his shop and was showing me all of his new pieces, told me about how me made certain things, and covered me in glitter (a yearly tradition). I was getting ready to walk out of his shop when he called me back in and said, “Listen, lass. I just wanted to tell you hello, and goodbye. This may be the last time I get to see you and I just want to tell you thank you for coming back all these years.”
The next morning, I told Cody about it on the way to the Ren Fest and told him I was scared that we wouldn’t see him. We made a Bee-line to his shop, but were disappointed to see that his assistant was the only one there. She explained that he was busy taking the weekend off so that he could be a grandfather. Relieved that he was well, we just promised that we would see him the following year.
Last year we showed up and made the same direct path to the kaleidoscope shoppe… which wasn’t there. The new tenants of his space had no idea who he was or what was even in their spot previously, so we left hoping to find that he was moved to a better location.
I looked for that man all day before I finally found someone who was able and willing to tell me what happened. Mister Marshal had passed away after the fair last year.
It was heartbreaking to me. I only saw the man once a year, but for some reason he had a huge impact on my life. Cody thinks that my dream about him was his way of saying goodbye, but I have no idea how or why I was the one who received the dream. I know it has happened before with my family when I was a child, but not with an acquaintance and definitely.

I don’t know why, but this dream has been on my mind all day… It’s been two years, but I think about it from time to time and get a weird feeling- like I should have taken away more of a lesson from this experience. I mourn him periodically, but we have only met a few times.

Rest in peace, Mister Marshal. You are a magical man.

[SnowCat]

For some reason the kaleidoscope seems important to me. As if, in making the kaleidoscopes, he had a window into elsewhere. I think he's on your mind for a reason, and that the wheel of the year will turn and reveal the reason, just as turning the kaleidoscope reveals a new picture.

Snow

[SpiritTalker]

I think Snow's on target. What's the significance of annually glitter dusting you, If i may ask? He sounds like a delightfully magical kind of man. You say you don't know why you're "the one to havevthe dream." Would Cody be as likely, given your dream history?

[smogie_michele]

He said the glitter was a "gift from the fairies," and he spoke as if her were a little kid who just saw a fairy himself. There was something so pure and childlike about him that made the moment feel special- like I was in the presence of Santa himself, and when he dusted me with glitter I felt pure and childlike as well.

I love the analogy of the wheel turning as well. My life is changing. I'm beginning a new job, I'm setting financial and creative goals for myself, I am striving to be a happier person. My wheel is starting to turn. Sometimes I think of him when I am painting or feeling creative in general- its just this breathtaking feeling that makes you so happy you could cry.
I'm thinking I might do a little ceremony to honor him... it will involve unfathomable amounts of glitter.

[SpiritTalker]

sounds of a happy dance

[smogie_michele]

I had a dream about him again last night. So crazy how people can impact you in such a strong way.

I like to think that he has been reincarnated into the fae... or some other magical earth spirit of the sort. Mischievous and playful and perfect. He is the essence of creativity and he makes me want to be a better person.

[SnowCat]

I think it's more likely that when you knew him, he was a fae who had chosen to experience a human lifetime. Now he has returned home. He's letting you know that things are okay, and that he's there if you need him.

Snow

[smogie_michele]

I wish I had a "like" button.
I love that old man.