A nightmare

[moonraingirl]

I don't know what is going on in my subconscious mind. As I told you, I did a relatively innocent pagan-ish prayer yesterday. I also read a bit about astral projection that was discussed on the forum and I googled about it a bit. But I didn't do anything. Just before I fell asleep I thought hey maybe I should give it a try. Suddenly I became afraid and didn't have the courage to do anything.

At night, I had another archetypal dream about evil. I've had such nightmares in the past, when I saw pure Evil in human form, usually an elderly man, once it looked like a little girl and once it was a Lizard.

So tonight the dream started pretty, I travelled by train in the mountains, maybe the Alps and I was with friendly people. Then I appeared in a forest with a child (don't remember its gender) and an old man came. The child wanted to come to him and the man was luring him by various means.

I was terrified of the man because I knew he was Evil. I tried to take the child and run away but it refused, it loved that man and decided to come to him.

Suddenly, his true character was revealed and I was attacked by a wild hissing cat who was violently scratching my face and the child was caught in a bear trap. You know the metal one with "teeth" that caught its leg and it couldn't run.

I woke up with racing heart and breathing fast. I was totally scared and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, ruminating negative thoughts.

[moonraingirl]

In the dream, I was very pretty, about my current age (29) with black curly hair, slim and wearing red dress. I don't look like that in reality at all.

[Bychan Wulf]

I'm sorry you had such bad dreams!
I see two oprions:
1) you fear in your subconscious that paganism is evil,because of the christian preaches you attended sonce you were a child. This is reflected through dreams and you can only work woth yourself and convince yourself that there is nothing evil about it and that you will not"go to hell" for that.

2)When you did your prayer,you opened yourself and remained unguarded and unshielded.
Maybe asking your spirit guides/animals for protection or creating an astral shueld would help.
(I don't have much knowledge about this,but I can recall reading something simmilar on a empath facebook group a while ago)

Personal experience: I have bee scared of the darkness since I have memories,but after asking my spirit animal for help and made the astral shield(instructions are here on the forum in a post made by Seraphim) the fear is not so big any more.

[Bychan Wulf]

In the dream, I was very pretty, about my current age (29) with black curly hair, slim and wearing red dress. I don't look like that in reality at all.

Maybe a past life you revealed itself in your dream?

[moonraingirl]

I don't think that I'm afraid for ideological reasons. I was raised in an Agnostic family and never went to church as a child.

I tried new age practices including meditation, chakra work, meeting my guides and reiki attunement in my late teens.
However I was soon attacked by something evil, I felt presence in my room and my depression and anxiety got much, much worse.

That's how I came to Christianity and these things went away, only the anxiety partly remained. At the time of my confirmation, however, me and my family encountered many "bad luck" and "accidental" events. The amount of them was suspicious. I also got into huge spiritual night, as described by some saints.

When I left Christianity and didn't pay attention to spirituality things have improved and I found relative peace.

Now I wanted to experiment only a little and you see, it's back again! It's like something doesn't want me to practice anything spiritual. It only goes away sometimes when I call Mary or Jesus for help, while other times it seems jealous and attacks me more when I tried to be a Christian.
And it ALWAYS attacks me when I try anything pagan...

[Bychan Wulf]

Oh yeah,now I remember your post which talked about this problem. >>headscratching<< It is a pretty complicated situation....maybe a guided meditation or long distance help from a more experienced practitioner would make it better.

[moonraingirl]

Yeah, I really don't know what to do and what's happening.
I maybe only found out that a part of my problem with prayer as a Christian was probably religious OCD, a psychiatric condition. But I don't think it was the whole answer

[CleverlyDisguised]

Well here is an article I posted with the basics of energy work, including (but not limited to) grounding, meditation and shielding

http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... 34365.html

[moonraingirl]

Thank you, cleverly disguised. I'll try that once I find motivation to do anything spiritual again.

[CleverlyDisguised]

De nada moon