Please help me understand!

[EmeraldMist]

I woke up from this dream with the need to cry.
My sister in real life is 7 years older than me, 10 years between one of my brother's and 15 between my oldest brother.
SO, in my dream I had another brother. Older than me. Younger than my sister. In my drea, I was around 7-8 years old again. This brother, Sam, was around the gae of 12-13. He was getting ready for a camping trip. I was upset. I didn't want him to go. We were close. He told me, "I'm going for a day or two. It's going to be fun. I'll be back." I spun around in his room and started walking toward the door. I turned back around to face him and said, "You better come back." He said, "I will. Love you, kid." He continued packing for his camping trip. He finished packing and came downstairs. He said bye to mum, and then said bye to me. I hugged him extra tight. His ride came at 9:15am. He left. 9:30am rolled around. We got a phone call saying that he died in the back seat of his teacher's car. They didn't leave the island. He didn't get his camping trip.
I woke up and cried. It felt like I had really lost some REALLY close to me. To the point, where I asked my mum if she has a miscarriage or something. She said no. I kpet asking her different questions and she started getting mad. "No! There is you and your real siblings. As it is, you weren't even thought of. You were a surprise baby. There were no other babies."

I don't know who Sam was or is. I don't know what this dream means. This isn't the first dream like this where I've lost someone close in my dream. The first one was a boy Alex who lived close to my house in my dream. We played together all the time in my dreams. One day, he didn't meet me where we always met. I went to his house and his mother was upset. "He was sick. He didn't want you to know." Turns out, Alex had cancer. I don't know who he was or is either.

Any advice or thoughts would be great!

[EmeraldMist]

Probably should have mentioned that I live on an island and have to take 2 ferries to get to the mainland..

[Binglian]

I'm not good at interpreting dreams that well. But here is what I think. Dream of someone you don't know but are very close to you probably means that you are very scared to loose someone you love. And those two people, although you don't know them in your real life, probably are a reflection of someone who is dear to you. Try to think if they show any characteristics to people you love in your real life.

Another meaning could be that you feel really lonely in those time, and dream of people leaving you would be a reflection of your loneliness. Because both of your dreams sound very depressing, if you are feeling depressed or lonely, I think it would be good for you to talk to more people, or talk about your problems with the others.

I hope this help!

[yukiteru25]

Here my thought.
It could be a fear to loose your family or close friends. Try to see if your actions are pushing away your friends or maybe you are being mean to you family. It is just a reasoning, i dont think you might be doing it intentionally, but maybe you are acting angry or something without noticing. I guess that some of your brother live in their own house so maybe is that you feel apart from them.

Hope it helps to understand a bit more. If you feel sad or anything dont be afraid to ask for help.
It would be a pleasure and an honor to help

[EmeraldMist]

Thank you both.
A lot has happened since this post. And I agree with both. I am scared to people I love.

Since this post, I have done a lot of thinking and a lot of self "help" so to speak. My situation during the Sam dream, wasn't good. Home life was rotten between myself, my child and their father. I was stressed beyond stressed. But I also saw it as a learning curve. Because without that situation, I wouldn't know the things I know now. Which emotions stir the soul (good and bad). And how to overcome them. During the Sam dream, I was quick to react to anger with anger. BAD IDEA!!! I've learned that the saying "think before you speak" is true. Very true. And I do that everyday now. With everything. I choose my words wisely. I choose my feelings. I choose which battles to fight. Some of course, can't be avoided. Because I've also learned, especially in the past few months, that everything is a choice and everyone can choose. Before I felt stuck. I was literally stuck in so many ways!! But not so much now. Well, the stuck feelign is still there but over a different matter completely!!

With everything being a choice, I also wrote up a little reminder about anger. So it was funny that Yukiteru mentioned anger and being mad. And Binglian, I was lonely. I was working all day. My son was at my parent's place (2 hours away) all the time. And my boyfriend was never around. He was always out playing videogames with his friends. Or out in the woods walking around all day and half the night. The past couple years, we've grown apart. It got bad for awhile. We stopped talking. We stopped everything and I mean everything. I left. And it was during those few months that I moved out that things got better for both of us. After we broke up, we talked more about how we felt about everything. To make a very LOOONNGG story short... we got back together.

I'm more self aware than I ever have been. Mind you, I've never been the depressing kind of person, ever! I've always put other people first. I was waitress and even though problems at home weren't for a couple years during that time, I'd get up at 6am, be to work for 7am, and always have a smile on my face. Because my problems didn't matter. Making guests happy, and making their visit more enjoyable was all that mattered. Having said that, I take a bit more time out of my day for myself. To just think. To unwind. To breathe. To do something myself, not others so much. But I'm not lonely.

But I will admit that during the Sam dream, I could feel myself getting sucked into this large balck hole with an uninvited feeling. I didn't like it. I hated it. And that's when my thinking and views on everything changed completely!! I learned patience. To be patient with others around me. And just because they did one thing wrong or messed up, don't hold it againgst them. Help them get through it, get past it.

In conclusion and I apologize for writing a book lol... Things are great
I've been trying so hard not to over think. And since doing that, the dreams are less. What dreams I do have, aren't so "blah," more like just regular dreams. Whatever regular dreams are

Brightest Blessings!

[yukiteru25]

You made me cry of happyness.
I am really glad i helped you in a way, even if i was useless and you did everything i feel like a bit of help.

I am glad things are better
You are awesome

[EmeraldMist]

You made me think some more. Which isn't a bad thing! Thanks!