Nightmares, Nightmares

[dissimulare]

I've been having nightmares about two boys whom I had crushes on last year. I say 'crush', because I take romance very lightly and I often get bored and move on easily.

The two previous nights' dreams, I can't remember (regrettably), but I can remember last night's. In the first dream, the boy (let's call him Boy A) was the Grim Reaper. Not dressed like the Grim Reaper, but the actual Grim Reaper. He wore a tattered black hooded cloak and a skull mask (which resembled the hollow masks in Bleach, if that helps). And, of course, he had a gigantic rusty scythe with him. The events take place in his house (I've never been to his house, but it was his house in the dream). Basically, I spend the first half of the dream running around the house with his sister and trying to avoid him. Eventually, I find out it's Boy A, but not before he reaps his sister. Then, with his mask slightly askew, revealing half of his face, he grabs me and we do stuff on the bed (if you know what I mean). From that point on, I lose my fear, while everyone around us is still scared. He treats me with care and affection, but everyone else with cruelty. That's where it ends.

The second dream involves Boy B. I don't remember how it starts, but the entire thing is basically one big date. Well, it seems like a simultaneous date/field trip, because some classmates are there. I cling to Boy B the entire time and we act like that lovey-dovey couple that every class seems to have.

I know the two dreams don't sound pretty pleasant, but I woke up feeling disturbed and disgusted. Don't get me wrong, part of me wanted the dreams to never end, but a bigger part of me was thinking, "Crap, this is gross. Get me out of here."

What do you think the dreams are trying to tell me?

[Traumwandlerin]

I think this split in your emotion is very important. One part wants this exact thing to happen and the other find it gross. One part wants a date, wants sex, wants a relationship and others don't. It seems related to you getting a crush easily but also end it easily. Some part in you is longing a relationship, another part think it's gross.

So think about it, why do you think it's gross? What do you fear?

Also those two boys doesn't have a special meaning, they just symbolizes potential mates in general.