I feel like I'm coming home,

[Pix]

In the past few months, I have been gradually reconnecting with my spirituality, slowly and surely. I would like to tell you a bit of my journey -

As a child and growing up, I spent a lot of time in nature. Playing in fields, climbing trees, catching butterflies, plaiting flowers into my hair, running around. I have a distinct and vivid memory of getting lost in some woods next to the village I grew up in; I was really quite young, too young to be out playing by myself had I lived in the town, I had lost my bearings and didn’t know from which direction I had entered the woods, lost. I remember that I was completely unafraid, I knew that I was safe in those woods, that I was protected, that I would find my way home. I used to go walking all the time, every day, for years, in the woods and the fields, I climbed trees and met deer and observed the moon.

I discovered witchcraft, paganism and wicca as a teenager, and although my understanding mostly came from the Internet, online writings and such, it all made an intuitive sense to me, and described things that were present in my life already. I observed nature and the passing of seasons, I lit candles to cleanse my space and to assist changing my frame of mind, I wrote to the moon, I engaged in symbolic activities to actualize my intention, such as writing a letter and then burning it. I never really ‘identified’ as a witch or sought out like-minded people, but I resounded with the basic principles on a deep level, and that was enough.

A couple of years later, I realized that I wanted to become a scientist. I became enamoured with the scientific process of distilling knowledge from the world, I loved the methodology and logic, security in the confidence I could hold my opinions if I had thought deeply and understood the question and how the answer is reached, the intellectual challenge and skills in critical thinking. I came to feel that all of my opinions, stances, and beliefs, should be backed up by knowledge that had been gleaned from the natural world through the prism of empirical science, things that I could be sure about, things that didn’t require any suspension of disbelief or discursive leaps of faith.

And so, my practice went dormant.

For the past 7 or so years, I have self-identified as an atheist. I am also reaching the end of my degree in Psychology, and I am beginning to feel comfortable self-identifying as an academic and a scientist as opposed to a student of science. For those past 7 years, I (wrongly) believed that being a scientist and an atheist went together – or rather, that being a scientist and anything other than an atheist was something of an oxymoron.

Without writing too much more as this is pretty long already (I find it impossible to write concisely!), I have this year reconnected with my practice. I genuinely celebrated Ostara for the first time! I celebrated it over 3 days with various things – I visited the ocean, burned a symbol with intention of new cycles, abundance and growth, made a wreath, fasted on the day of the equinox, cleaned my space and threw out old things, lit flowery incense, created art, and felt love with those closest to me. I can’t possibly describe to you how healing, how cathartic, how significant this felt for me, and how simply right.

I have since been reacquainting myself with my practice and integrating it back in to my life. So far I have set up various alters in my room – interestingly enough, I had already unknowingly set up several alter-type spaces on my windowsill and atop furniture and such, so the change was mostly perceptual. I’ve started integrating cooking in to my practice, and I am really loving that aspect of things as it’s not an aspect that I practiced when I was younger. The most heartwarming and fulfilling change is reawakening my endless and eternal love of nature, and trees, and the sky, and the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and grass, and flowers, ah. It just feels so correct.

Anyway – this is too long, and I feel that’s introduction enough. I don’t have many friends who are in to any of this, so I would love to speak with you about anything witchy. I am really super excited to dive back in to my craft and familiarize myself with everything now that I am much more grown and independent. Thank you for listening~!

Pix.

[Firebird]

How exciting for you! Heck, I'm excited for you. Witch scientists are the best! I had to chuckle at your comment about scientists needing to be atheistic, I think it's a common belief. I had a good friend (RIP) who had been a member of our circle for over 20 years who was one of the most magical people I knew and he had been a physics professor for nearly 30 years! So I'm glad you got over that hurdle!, and yes indeed, you are home Welcome home. We'll bee seeing you around, Merry Meet
Blessings, Firebird

[SpiritTalker]

Welcome and thanks for sharing a warm story of your victory.

[Pix]

How exciting for you! Heck, I'm excited for you. Witch scientists are the best! I had to chuckle at your comment about scientists needing to be atheistic, I think it's a common belief. I had a good friend (RIP) who had been a member of our circle for over 20 years who was one of the most magical people I knew and he had been a physics professor for nearly 30 years! So I'm glad you got over that hurdle!, and yes indeed, you are home Welcome home. We'll bee seeing you around, Merry Meet
Blessings, Firebird

Thank you Oh that makes me so happy! I have a small feeling that there may be a lot of scientists who have their own quiet practices but feel compelled to keep it private. I think that it's hard to spend so long thinking about the natural world without becoming somewhat acquainted with witchcraft, even if that's not the word you use for it, you know? Thank you so much Firebird (:

Welcome and thanks for sharing a warm story of your victory.

Thank you and you're welcome, I am happy to be able to write about these things somewhere where people will understand (: