Greetings and questions from Metaphasic

[Silas Nightfall]

Hello everybody,

I guess I should start at the beginning. I am 50, have been married for 27 years, have 6 children and 5 grandchildren. I was indoctrinated into Christianity at a very early age, but over the years found that it didn't resonate with me for various reasons. I won't go into them here though, as I know many here may be Christian.

I left Christianity a very long time ago, but I kept looking. I always believed there was something more. A higher spirituality, if you will. During my search, I came upon the writings of an alternative scientist known as Walter Russell. He based his theories upon things he witnessed during lucid dreaming, for those who do not know who he was.

He spoke of duality in all things. Masculine and feminine. Positive and negative. Light an dark. Contraction and expansion. One of his theories was the "cubic wave field", in which various harmonic resonances between these forces caused matter.

I had been able to see auras all my life. In fact, it never occurred to me that what I saw not average until I discussed it with my eldest son. About 10 years ago, however, I had a massive stroke, and the ability vanished. I have been trying everything to find my way back.

In the last few months, I came upon another online resource and began reading about Wiccan beliefs. The ideas of the One, the God and Goddess aspects of the One, Chakras, and many other things simply made immediate sense.

I am not looking to perform magick on anybody other than myself, and even then, limited only to those that help me center myself, find balance, and boost my self-actualization. Some may argue that I can do this on my own, without an external system of belief, but I don't see Wicca as external, as we are all one. I don't just live in this world. I am part of it.

I am also a goth. I find beauty in everything. But I have a special place in my heart for the fashion and architecture of the Visigoth people.

In my previous research, I discovered the meaning behind the pentacle, and what each point represents. Spirit, air <-> earth, water <-> fire, and the circle. I choose to wear both north-pointing, to protect my positive natures, and inverted, to acknowledge and bind my negative impulses. I have been doing this for years.

Just within the last few days, I've felt a surge, or compulsion if you will, to reach out to those who know more. You see, I live in the boondocks. The witchvox site had nothing listed anywhere near my area. My wife is a staunch Christian and views it as demonic. Yeah, I know. Since I am retired and have a fixed income, which is little more than we need to make it, I cannot afford implements. Yes, I am aware that a lot isn't required, and that some have substitutions.

The truth is, I don't even know how to label myself, understanding full well that labels can be restrictive, and at the same time helpful. I have no books or anything. I am completely lost on how to proceed, or even if I'm a good fit.

I even chose my username, Metaphasic, as a reflection of the constancy of change within the big picture. Meta is the larger view and everything goes through phases, like the moon (Goddess).

Any and all insight will be read and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from all of you.

I read the forum rules, and a great many stickies, before joining.

[Firebird]

Greetings and welcome to the board
not going to find many x-tians here and I wondered, aren't you concerned that this could cause big ripples in your marriage?
Hope she will come around and see the beauty in our craft.
See you soon!
Firebird

[Silas Nightfall]

Thank you for the warm welcome. To answer your question, yes. In addition, I am wondering where to get further information considering I am not in a position to buy books or tools. There’s several sites I’ve found, but some seem to disagree with each other. I don’t know what to trust. I really need some tips and guidance. All I know is the basic tenets and beliefs.

[SpiritTalker]

Hello Fellow Seeker - what's in a label but self-limitation? There are free on-line e-books that you can read & somewhere around here gives some addresses. I'm also retired & fixed income get Amazon used books for the craven feel of real books. Otherwise I use thier Kindle on my iPad. With some applied self-control it's been affordable.

What are the Wiccan ritual tools but fancified dishes? Eye candy is expensive & may be out of the question anyhow if practice is broom-closeted. Some DIY helps. There are some topics on the board discussing ways & means of being discreet & finding supplies as well.

One healing method I've used is Therapeutic Touch, a laying-on hands approach by Delores Krieger that has grown & hosts various web sites (edit).

Remember back to your student days if before the internet. A Local library reference desk is a great aid to searches & tracking down books. (edit)

[Silas Nightfall]

Thanks. I am not looking for decorations anyway. But having a few crystals or a ball and some tarot cards would be nice. As far as labels go, I generally don’t like them, but in this case, it would be nice to have a sense of belonging, rather than classification. I will search for some of the ebooks. Would it be appropriate to identify as Wiccan with only the basic beliefs?

[SpiritTalker]

You can browse decks on Amazon just to see what's attractive to you. The market standard Rider-Waite deck comes in 3 sizes & smaller costs less. Instructions are on line free of course. Remember shipping costs. Spend a day just browsing game manufacturers of fortune telling & Tarot decks. It'll be fun, right?

A quality clear crystal ball of 2" or more purchased on line is chancy. It's a gamble. I've done my purchases thru Amazon or AzureGreen for many years with few issues. It's never spotless.

Maybe you could use the self-description of eclectic or solitaire pagan or Wiccan. You can call yourself what you like. There's no governing body gonna say no. What categories have you considered?

[Silas Nightfall]

I am not certain what you mean by categories, unless you mean Druidic, shamanic, etc. my main focus right now is on honing my centering, grounding and shielding practices. Later, I want to learn simple spells that boost attributes already present in myself as well as some divination to help prepare for the days ahead. Knowledge and understanding is first and foremost. I’m not interested in meddling as that might upset the balances around me.

[SpiritTalker]

Yes I'd meant shamanic, Traditional Witch Craft (non-Wiccan), Wiccan Tradition, Norse or Druidic generally covers northern European area. Outside these It takes a road map. OK so you could say Pagan or just witchcraft without a qualifier. If you cherry pick from here 'n there then use eclectic, & solitaire because you aren't in a group. Generally Wiccan refers to a set of common ritual practices & tools, recognizes 8 agricultural holidays & 12-Full Moon observances & acknowledges dual deity (not necessarily pantheons). You've already got the concepts of duality bagged (& don't expect everybody in the Craft to go along). Alchemists & ceremonial magicians also might accept duality as an observation of natural forces. There's always cross-overs.

When path finding you don't so much define the path by what you already know but define by the path to the knowledge you seek. If there's no defined path then like any explorer, you wander. Nobody expects to be a perfect fit if they have a thinking mind. Sheep fit the pen. Just sayin'.

[Silas Nightfall]

Yes I'd meant shamanic, Traditional Witch Craft (non-Wiccan), Wiccan Tradition, Norse or Druidic generally covers northern European. Outside these It takes a road map. OK so you could say Pagan or just witchcraft without a qualifier. If you cherry pick from here 'n there then use eclectic, & solitaire because you aren't in a group. Generally Wiccan refers to a set of common tools & ritual practices, 8 agricultural holidays, 12-full moon observance, & dual deity (not necessarily pantheons). You've already got concepts of duality bagged, but alchemists & magicians also accept duality as an observation of natural forces.

Thanks. One last question for now. How do I measure a year and a day when I’m not sure exactly on the starting date?

[SpiritTalker]

From the date of making the pledge or self-dedication & not from when you became interested or started observing any practices. Until we're dedicated we're dabbling.

[Yellow diamond light]

Hi

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

hello and welcome. Have you looked up monism? This sounds similar to what you're describing here.

[Silas Nightfall]

Hi

Hi there!

[Silas Nightfall]

hello and welcome. Have you looked up monism? This sounds similar to what you're describing here.

I have not, but I will shortly.

[SpiritTalker]

I knew this topic was here somewhere

http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... ml#p247366