6 years ago someone who meant a Lot to me lost their life to cancer. I had to be strong for others who loved him and I didn't deal with my emotions about it until the night after the funeral service. I went out drinking and long story short, I should have gone to jail for driving, but I didn't. The cop let me walk home. That is absolutely unheard of here folks. So I walked home and as soon as I got inside I lost it. I flippin lost it. I bawled/ hollered/ prayed and begged to have him back. I must have sat in my kitchen for HOURS praying and crying. So finally, I look up realize I'm sober and sitting in the floor and decide to step outside and smoke a cigarette. When I walk outside there is a green pickup parked in the open space in my drive and there is a guy in it looking at me! He's just looking at me! So I say "hello". And, when he realizes that I can see him his eyes get wide and he hides from me. So I say "what are you doing?" No answer. I finally walk over to the truck and look in the bed, and it's empty! I know I admitted to drinking alcohol, but I know what I saw, and what I saw was a guy hiding in the bed of a pick up truck, and it was real. And, that real guy disappeared!
Trying to prove that I'm not crazy I start looking into what it could be and researching guardian angels and spirit guides and such, because I should have gone to jail that night. Someone convinced those cops to let me go. I believed it was the young man I saw. This led me to our home town psychic who I had only visited once before and she predicted something astounding that came true but isn't really relevant to this story. When I asked her about my spirit guide, she could not tell me about the man I saw but instead about a small female child who helps me, mostly with love and matters of the heart. She says she is related to me. A year after this reading I found out my grandmother had a daughter that died around 1 or 2 years old, in fact her death is sort of a mystery. My aunt told me that my grandmother told her once before she died, that she was married once before grandpa, she had a child with him. One night she called her parents to come and get her and she told them the baby was dead and she was divorcing her husband and the child was never talked about again until that day. I found my father's birth certificate and it says right on there how many children from this mother are deceased and it says 1. My dad never even noticed it until I pointed it out. My mother tells me when I was a toddler I had an incredible imagination and a very best "imaginary" friend. So I began wondering if it was possible I was playing with this little spirit..?
Okay, so since the psychic used tarot cards, that sparked my interest in tarot ( I have always been obsessed with the zodiac) and I have been learning about/using tarot cards for about two years now. I have made two solid predictions I can stand by actually predicting, however, my little spirit guide helps me. Wanting to communicate with her more and more I started reaching out to her my mind to see if that would work. Basically all I could really get was an A name. I call her Abigail
. Now I can feel her more and more. Like I'll think of something and she'll add on something to it, like she's there with me or something. Or sometimes she'll tell me when she like the music. I know that sounds crazy, but it's happening. .?Currently, I'm not a psychic or empath or anything. I'm curious if I was more aware of powers or abilities as a child because of my wild imagination, and I possibly shut all of that stuff down? Basically, as a child most of what I remember was being verbally abused for being weird. I would talk about crazy made up worlds and other worldly creatures like I had been there and seen them. I'm assuming in my dreams? My dreams have always been a big part of my existence, I dream vivid! I dream vivid every single night and I can remember a ton of what I dream. However, the bits I can't remember I always end up feeling like were the most important when trying to recall the next day.
I would like to be able to perfect and gain more spiritual tools. I would like to gain abilities as a medium to communicate with Abigail, but I don't know if that's possible, or something you're born with. I know my next venture is crystals. My friend has been teaching me and I'm loving it. When I touch smooth stones I can feel them. That's the only energies I've ever been able to feel but it was so exciting, I can't wait to learn more. (Well I can feel negative energy I carry but that is sad not exciting) And, I also need to harness my meditation practices. I mostly only meditate to clear my mind before prayer. (I believe in and worship God, however, I am not a practicing Christian.) I would like to do more long meditations to help with anxiety and promote creativity, however I know absolutely zero about chakras, so I hope to learn about that here as well. So I will end my novel now.. Thank you for reading and allowing me to join your group.
