Need Advice or a Love Spell?

Post by **shadow_walker143** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:58 pm

ok, i need some advice on a situation. and a question. this seams like the place to ask for both. first i will discribe my situation, than i will ask my question.

ok here is my situation in a nutshell: about 3 weeks ago my sister started trying to get my man and i to break up. she has done this before by the way. she started telling me that her, her husband and our then roomate thought he was cheating on me. i asked our roomate if this was true, and wouldnt let it go. i now have let it go by the way, and she is not letting it go now. shortly after this, she gave ME 2 weeks to get out. not him, just me. well bad went to worse, and now my man is wondering if he should be in a relationship at all. that sucks. well he has been getting more and more distant to me, all the while, hanging out with his roomate, who used to be our roomate, and her couson.

i have already done 2 spells for our roomate, to allow her to see what she has done to me, and to get her to hopefully change her ways. i have a strange suspision that he may be under the effects of a spell himself and not realizing it. the thing is, her house or a transient house is the only place his parole officer will allow him to go until we move to Portland in september. i would MUCH rather have him in a trans house than under her roof where he is VIOLATING his parole because of her bringing her couson over, (she has 3 kids and he cant be around them right now) so i am thinking that i need 2 spells, or one spell and a very persuasive talking skill to talk the maniger of her apartment complex to kick her out now instad of when he moves out.

the spell i think i need is something to allow him to see how much he means to me and to allow his heart to feel it without him over thinking it. he is dwelling on things he has no control over. you see, i KNOW we belong together, we have been in love for over 12 years, but didnt have the courage to talk about our emotions before this year. he is just afraid of falling too far, too fast. but how do i explain to him that its too late for that, we already did? i guess this rant is more a plea for advice, with a spell possibly tossed in for good measure. anyways, thanks for reading this and responding to this. it feels good to get it off my chest.

Post by **Hera#76** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:15 am

I think you need to leave things be and try focussing on getting on with the other parts of your life, you can not persuade sonmeone to be with you. I am really not trying to be mean but it sounds like it is you have has fallen in love and the two of you. Perhaps you are coming across as a bit full on and obsessive about this where as he can't see the problem being as big as you make it out to be.

You need to give him some space to manouvre and think things through himself, one thing a guy hates more than anything else is being told what to do. I think you should forget spells and just let things span out on there natural course, stop trying so hard. If he makes the mistakes you think are going to occur then they were his decisions, you can't be there all the time.

On a side note I am slightly concerned why he can't be around children? Is this a condition of his parole? If it is where do you see the future of your relationship going?

Post by **shadow_walker143** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 11:47 am

yes it is a tempary condition of his parole. i have decided to just talk to him and let things take a more natural course. thanks for your advice.

edit: by the way, does anyone know of a spell to help someone stop over analizing things and to follow their instincs? thats what i think things are baisically boiled down to with my boyfriend and i. thanks!!!

Post by **Elem** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:04 pm

Okay, lemmie just.. Jump in here and lay down some tyre spikes to try and stop your mind from running off any further, or at least slow it down for a second..

Apologies if that seems rude, but as far as I can tell by reading the posts you've made both here, and to Tigerlily asking for readings, your mind seems to be running off in all directions at top-speed with no clear objective or destination in sight..

I mean, yes, ultimately your mind seems to have the goal of 'perfection' - i.e. a state in which your ex-flatmate has forgiven you and everything with your boyfriend is fine.. But it seems to be desperately searching for that state of perfection in all the wrong places. I think that, ideally, it needs to do an about turn.. Come back to base.. And re-evaulate its strategy

.

As far as I've been able to discern, the problems you're having seem to lie largely in your mind. It seems to me that it wishes and strives for everything to be 'correct', and as it should be.. When, really, life is rarely that simple. Sure, perhaps for a short period things are all fine n dandy.. But, more often than not, things take a turn for the worst at some point or another. It's at this point you need to stop and take a moment to think.. N I mean really think about everything that's going on.. Then develop a way of 'coping' or 'dealing' with what's happening, whilst at the same time understanding that things may never return to that happy and 'perfect' state they were in before..

I know that might not be a nice thought.. No, in fact, it's probably downright horrible and uncomfortable.. But that's okay. There'll always be people to help you through the uncomfortable stages of life (people like us, for instance.. Complete strangers, wanting to help you

), until things balance back into equilibrium. Yes, on occasion this may mean that things return to as they were.. But, by the same merit, they may end up completely different. For some reason, many people seem afraid of change. I say - Don't be afraid.. Embrace it! Sometimes it's through this change that the greatest things can happen. It may make you a stronger person, it may make you a happier person.. But you'll never know until you accept that change is happening all the time - whether we want it to or not.

I suggest you sit down on your own, in a quiet place, and relax.. Meditate.. Read a book.. Listen to music.. Do whatever you know you really enjoy doing, and that'll really help you relax. Hell, go shopping, or sit in a really hot, bubbly bath if that'll relax you

. Just take a step back.. Look at your situation.. And try to understand that the future may not be how you expected it. Even with spells, and readings, and 'magick'.. You aren't going to be able to stop change from happening when it's already set on its course.

Excuse the length of this post, or however rambly it may seem. I hope it helps in some way, and I hope that you take my advice and just try to re-evaluate your situation. Understand that your boyfriend's idea of the future may differ from yours, and as hard as it may be.. You may have to accept that in order to move on and live your life.

Good luck

.

Elem

Post by **shadow_walker143** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:39 am

your post really got me thinking, and no it wasnt too rambly. sometimes i need that kick in the ass to help me. it is really hard to be on this side of the situation, but i need to trust in my instincs and trust in the goddess. things will work out, they just need time. i dont think im alone in wishing for a "perfect" relationship. but ive figured out, (the hard way i might add) that perfect is never perminant sure theres perfect moments, but they usually get innturrepted by Real Life. i truly feel that this is all my fault, and i am just trying to find a way to make it better. i think that my boyfriend is over-thinking his situation, and our relationship. but i cant control that. or him. thank you for your advice, i now have a plan of action, and am just waiting for the right time to impliment it. (monday and tuesday) again, thank you all for your advice, i know you dont know me from Eve, and for that i will always be gratful for your un-biased opinions and advice. i tend to try to control things i have no control of and no hopes of ever controling. that is one of my downfalls. and i am working on it. its just hard sometimes, to feel like your not in control of ANYTHING in your life. its like a car driving too fast hitting some black ice, total lack of control. it is quite scary to say the least. but again, let me thank you all for your advice, i appreciate it.

Blue Moon Princess · Post by **Blue Moon Princess** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 8:51 pm

Short and sweet, here is what this ole gal knows is real. You get to control and think only for YOU. A human being ABSOLUTELY CANNOT do something unless they are okay with it. I, for one, WILL NOT eat cooked carrots. They are not okay with me. I love dancing, 'cause that's okay with me. Do you see? Apply this to hair-styles or life-styles...the formula still works.

Identify what's NOT okay with you in this situation and you will have your answer. And you will take back your power.