Amplifying Spell - thoughts?

[Amadeus]

CAUTION: Grab some popcorn and a bevvy. This gets entertaining.

So, quick background: I'm a transman. I pass almost 100% now. Back in May, I met a wonderful gay cis-man who knew up front that I'm trans. We've connected and have a mutual attraction on so many levels. We've been intimate and both enjoyed it immensely. And it's pretty obvious that we're both in love.

The problem: he says that he thinks he'd be happier with a cisgender man and will push me away while pulling me in at the same time. I told him at one point, "You either let me in or let me go." So he let me go. For all of four days. Why? Because...well, I did something, and now I'm curious as to where/if I went wrong somewhere.

The spell was simple enough. I wrote some bad poetry that essentially said "What you feel for me is amplified and you will re-establish contact with me. Until then, you won't be able to get me off your mind." I threw in some cinnamon and fresh catnip as well as three dried rose petals from a pink rose. I'd found this rose lying in my path after walking him to the bus stop after our first 'date'. I don't think it was a coincidence.

Anyway, the magic worked. Four days later he texted me, begging me to talk to him. He said he wanted to make a proper go of things, but take it slow. So we decided we were 'dating exclusively', although he did slip up a couple times and say "I love you". Then he'd do his nervous laugh and say, "You know I'm not really ready to say that." And I'd let it go, because I feel for the man. We both deal with anxiety and depression, only I've got better coping mechanisms than he does. I'm also very patient and told him that several times.

Anyway, once again we were having a wonderful time together, learning more about each other, becoming closer. At least until Saturday when he rang me up, crying, and said "I just can't do this any more. I can't stop worrying about this. There's so much I like about you and I think you're wonderful, but I can't change who I am. I don't want to lose you, either. I want us to be friends."

So...yeah. That's where I am right now. I can tell he's just as much in love with me as I am with him. I think he's just scared, for a number of reasons. The spell obviously was not meant to create love where it wasn't. It was to amplify what he already felt and re-establish a connection. There was no intention of manipulation, and I tried to make that clear when I was casting. I just wanted him back in my life. And it worked. But I had hoped that it might last longer than a couple weeks.

Anyway, I took apart the spell satchel after he rang me up crying. I just muttered, "You're free. I'm free." But I'm not and I don't think he is. So I would appreciate any thoughts you lot might have. Part of me feels like I should just move on, break off contact, but then I run across a photo or something and I see his big puppy eyes. They get me every time! And I think about how all these other guys said they wanted to go out with me, said they were fine with me being trans, but only the Italian [as I call him] actually made an effort to be with me. And I think about that rose, which I still have, which even Helen Keller could see was a sign that we were both falling for each other.

Okay. I'm done rambling. Go on. Tell me I'm stupid, that I just need to move on. God knows I've tried to tell myself that. It's very difficult when you know you could be really happy if one of you would just stop being so stupid.

[mrsdavid1975]

It's so hard to deal with people who don't even know how to process their OWN stuff. Ya know? The way I would do it is do a little nudge for him to be able to let go of his problems from the past. Let him love HIMSELF .. And understand who he is. Then if he is meant to be with you , it will happen. If not you won't have to be dragged along like a luggage tag. Good luck !

[Seraphin]

Hiya Amadeus!

Sorry for being so dense but are you wanting to break the spell in order for you both to move on?