wannawicca wrote:I want to ask if you accept the Love Magic, as there are many differences between the Black Magic and the White [original post here: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... ml#p227332]
Color-coded Magic...But Will it Match My Shoes?
Hi wannawicca. Well, I certainly don't consider love spells "black magic." In fact, I don't define energy (synonymous with magic, in my book) as being black energy, or white energy, or purply-pink energy, or forest-green-with-fuscia-streaks-and-gold-polka-dots energy, and the like. To me, that kind of thinking is a kind of hyperbole that may work well in, say, formulaic Hollywood witchy movies where there must be easily-identifiable good guys, and easily-identifiable bad guys, lest you have no movie: bad guy does the black magic, good guy does the white magic, good guy triumphs over bad guy, then, all is well in world once again (until the sequel, when this formula gets regurgitated). Yeah. This simplistic view of energy dynamics might be quite entertaining and satisfying in the movies. But, to me, it has no place in real life...at least not in my life, can't speak for anyone else. So, I don't waste time with it.
I don't think anything's wrong with "love magic" at all. I personally don't think it's coersive, against someone's will (I explain why below, under the section titled, "It Ain't That Serious, Trust Me"). What's more important, I think, is the intent behind the love magic, because the term "love magic" (the very word "love" itself) can mean VERY DIFFERENT things to different people, depending on whom you ask...
Love Magic for Healthy, Self-loving People
Some might use love magic wanting to fortify or improve an already good relationship. I know of a pagan couple that does a love spell on themselves every month. They run a business, and want to direct the energy of their relationship so that no matter what the business or anything else outside of their union does, their relationship stays clear, focused and strong. I think that's really beautiful.
Sometimes, a single person may have really worked hard on himself/herself to be of good character, in a good place financially, or just emotionally, whatever, and finds himself/herself in a really good place in life, and would like to use magic to further the chances of finding and sharing an already healthy, balanced life with compatible person. Or, he or she may want to to find a good person with whom to have a child. Or, after decades of marriage, believes he or she still has many good years left despite being recently losing a spouse, and would love to share that time with another loving spouse. Whatever.
Love magic in these instances serves to save the individual wasted time, like a "clarifier" asking the Universe to cut to the chase, save the individual months or years of wasted time with the wrong people, and arrive at the right person, an "expediter." Love magic speeds up the time it takes to find the right person, that's all. Using love magic toward aims such as these is perfectly fine, in my opinion. I don't see it as being any different than using magic for other quality-of-life goals, such as doing well on exams at uni, obtaining a good job, assisting the healing of another person or persons, etc. Energy is energy, magic is magic. Just like I don't color-code it, I also don't stigmatize it if it is used toward obtaining/maintaining harmonious, loving relationships.
In fact, I think if everyone employed love magic, done in the appropriate circumstances with the right intent, the entire world itself would be a much better place.
Couples the world over do hand-fastings, a ritual, a "spell of
union" between two people (i.e., marriage). But, do their love
magic workings have to END on their wedding day? Couldn't they
continue to enjoy sharing magic with each other that assists them
in keeping their relationship loving and strong...shouldn't they?
Love Magic for the Disturbed
However, I think that's probably something like 2% of the population of love magic practitioners, lol (maybe .001% is more realistic, haha). Love magic for the rest, unfortunately, is not a pretty thing. Many people are addicted to relationships like one is addicted to crack cocaine! They let their attraction to someone become psychotic, controlling, borderline stalker behavior. For example, in the past we have had people on this message board wanting to use love magic to control some person they are attracted in really, disturbing ways. We have had people on here who wanted to use love magic to break up married couples, some with children, wanting to ruin the entire family's lives. We recently had a teenaged girl on here who wanted to use love magic to get some boy, and if we didn't give her a love spell that worked, she threatened to kill herself. I could go on and on with these kinds of stories.
This is how absolutely sickening this "love magic" stuff could get. In fact, I would say these types of people are not practicing "love magic" at all, but are merely attempting to use magic as a platform for their mentally-ill thinking and behavior. Any platform would do, really...religiosity, for instance, is another platform for these folks, where you see people who will not hesitate to hurt, assault, and/or kill any other human being for the "love" of their God. Nutters are just nutters, doesn't matter the platform.
Come on, people. You gotta' know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away,
know when to run...
Love Magic's (Understandably) Bad Rap
So, I don't blame people for frowning on love magic. Because of the seemingly psychotic obsession the majority of people trying to practice it seem to be displaying, understandably love magic has gotten a very bad rap, even considered by some to be "black magic." I would argue, however, it is the intention of the people attempting to practice such purported "love magic" (more like, addiction magic) that at times is very dark, and the entire genre of love magic spells should not be tarred and feathered, considered dark and evil. That's a rather slippery slope, baby-out-with-the-bath-water kind of thinking, odiously smacking of pagan fundamentalism.
Knives are not "bad" or "evil," neither are guns or other things, which if in the hands of an malicious, ill-intentioned person are deadly, but if in the hands of a benevolent, well-intentioned person are a blessing, even life-saving. Who doesn't want a trusting, loving relationship in their lives? Who isn't lonely at times and would love to share laughs with someone with whom they have much in common? It is very validating, life-affirming, and in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with using magic to help attain such goals.
It Ain't That Serious, Trust Me
Most people pursuing magic, especially the ones who are just trying manipulate people into loving them, are not very good practitioners in metaphysical work to begin with, lacking self-discipline, background and training in magic. It's very doubtful they'd be even slightly effective. In fact, I find it kind of humorous when people assume some nutty person's love spell could possibly be so overwhelmingly effective as to actually infringe on another person's free will, rendering their target madly in love, incapable of ever saying no! lol This, again, the stuff of movie plot lines, not of real life.
Sadly, such spell work is usually no more than outward manifestations of a whole lotta' wishful thinking on the caster's part, at best , and sad but creepy and psychotic obsession at worst. Beyond that, if such spell work were indeed even slightly effective, a target always has a choice to say no. You can't take away a human being's entire free will via some lame love spell, lol. Where did such thinking come from, what is its source? Was a scientific study done somewhere that concluded that "9 out of 10 love spells completely destroy human free will"? haha Can someone please forward me a copy of that report? Because I'd say that that's giving a "spell caster" waaay too much undue credit.
A standard line we get around here with obsessive love spell people is some variant of this: "Well, OK, you see, this guy, he reeeeally does want to be with me...I mean, he told me to leave him alone, avoids my calls, unfriended me on Facebook, and I got a restraining order today... but, hehe, I know he really loves me. We have this special connection. He's just afraid to commit, that's all. So, I need this love spell to help him realize how much he loves me, and give him the courage he needs to commit to me, remove that negative energy [read rejection energy]. That's all, no biggie."
These types of posts leave me thinkin,' "Uh, no. The truth probably is that He's Just Not That into You, sista' girl, and your best bet is to get over it and move on." But, who likes to hear that, right? I leave it to other, more tactful mods to deal with this ilk, I'd probably hurt their feelings. It befuddles me: I have seen posters on here with five or six people chiming in on their thread, all telling them the same thing, and the poster even reports their friends and family said the same thing too (as well as their dead Aunt Martha in a séance). But this ilk hears not a single word anyone said. One mod here quoted the saying, "give 'em enough rope, and they'll hang themselves," and I've liked that saying ever since. It fits in many scenarios.
Get a Reading First, and Listen to It!
This may be part of the problem with love magic, or with spell casting as a whole: people don't get advice before pursuing love spells, they just do it and make fools of themselves. As far as hoodoo goes, where love magic is acceptable, no hoodoo practitioner worth their salt would even think to do a love spell on behalf of someone else without first doing a divination examining the energy dynamics of the entire scenario. If it doesn't look realistic, they will turn the client down, period. To do otherwise, would be a complete waste of time for everyone involved.
So, get advice before pursuing love spells. Either do a reading on yourself and face the truth of what it says --don't try to "mold" the message into what you want it to be. Or, just have someone you trust read for you. Sometimes, that could take the form of a good friend to whom you ask advice, and the feedback they give you, that feedback is the reading. If such a friend or loved one is telling you to let it go, you should listen to that friend or loved one; conversely, if they tell you to hang in there, consider hanging in there. You could also get a free reading here in the Free Readings forum. And of course you could hire a professional reader.
But just do something for confirmation, get another set of eyes to look at your situation. Don't rely on your (possibly delusional) thoughts, and definitely don't just barrel headlong into "love magic spell work," because you may not be objective with (what you want to believe is) love.
Depending on the mental and emotional stability of the practitioner, and the ethical values and intent behind his or her goals, love magic can be a wonderful thing...or a very not-so-wonderful thing.
And that's my two cents on this...OK, more like my $5, lol.