Reciprocity in love

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QuotAquot

Reciprocity in love

Post by QuotAquot »

Hello. I am new here and in general in magical affairs and witchcraft. I turned to this for a specific reason and I feel I must speak to someone who knows more. I have a predicament that has been following me my entire life. It will seem like a cliché, but please read this till the end with an open mind.

Basically, I've always had less luck in love than most. Of course I am not the only one. But the funny thing is it always had the same way of going about and ending. Basically if I would like someone they would not like me back and vice-versa. The few "relationships" I've managed to have have also ran along those lines. For example once a guy saw me make out at a party with someone else but he was very interested. I thought I would give it a try and we met a few times then officially started as a couple. After a while I had fallen in love. And pretty much the moment I had realised that I loved him he turned to stone and broke up wih me the next week. This was about 10 years ago.

The only other relationship I've had was a long distance one and it was about the same story. When he had the money he did not want to see me. Most of our visits had been planned by me. When I didn't plan it he wouldn't move a finger. I waited for 3 years. Then I realised that my emotions had passed. I was no longer in love with him.

Like someone had turned on a switch in him he started calling saying he would visit for the weekend (which made no financial sense because of the distance), and he generally started to display an interest in the relationship. We tried a bit more. Now on his initiative. But I had no real love emotions left. He still writes and sends gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Which I think is stupid, but I cannot really forbid him.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to give an idea of what I am going through. I also currently like someone and it seemed he liked me. I didn't think before there was a chance, then I started to think why not. The last time I saw him seemed like some light in his eyes died upon seeing me. Before he used to look at me with interest.

So, am I cursed? Is it karma? What can I do?

I recently tried some simple love spell. It was very improvised. But it is the first time I've ever done it. I wonder if it will help.

Please if you have any idea of what is going on I would appreciate it a lot.

Thank you
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

PM me if you'd like an opinion and maybe a new path.
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by SpiritTalker »

I hope you've had a chat with PlaneWalker by now. Counseling is his forte.

I'm the last person to advise on love spells. Every time I've tried one, I've acquired another stray cat. My other spells work fine. You'd written "I recently tried some simple love spell. It was very improvised. But it is the first time I've ever done it. I wonder if it will help." (sigh) allowing ourselves to have such after-thoughts can cancel out our efforts. Stop the train and reaffirm "for the good of all" on the spot. Spells work when we "know" in our hearts that it is so.
QuotAquot

Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by QuotAquot »

Ah yes, that came to my mind too. No need for hope if you know it will work, right?
Thank you for the answer and the advice. I haven't recieved an answer yet from planewalker. I may try another message. My first one was rather short.
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

You do me great honor, Spirit. Thank you seems too small a set of words.
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by Shekinah »

Perhaps you are too obviously trying too hard to cement a relationship. Men want to think they are in charge of the hunt and expect some resistance. After all, they expect to do meritorious battle to win the Lady's heart. From personal experience I have had a couple of ladies pursue me along the timeline I cannot explain why that was a turn off for me but it was.

Perhaps I deduced they were serious about the capture of a caretaker to be domesticated. A relationship cannot be expedited without raising suspicions. Take time for an unconditional relationship and see where it might lead. You both should also have similar interests, educational level and common goals. Trust, good sex, economic stability and a serene spirit are important factors.

I would not recommend employing a spell in such matters because you do not want your capture to be indentured. As the saying goes "If you truly love something, release it, if it truly loves you it will return".
Truth and Reality are highly guarded secrets. Nothing is as it appears. "The ONENESS sleeps in the stone, breathes in the plant, dreams in the animal and awakens in man" (Indian proverb)
QuotAquot

Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by QuotAquot »

Thanks for the reply. I know, all that makes sense. Guess playing hard to get just doesn't come easy to me. And all the other factors you mentioned. Seem simple to you. But for me it was not easy to find.
But what do you mean by " relationship cannot be expected without raising suspicions?
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by Kassandra »

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Hi QuotAquot. Thanks for coming to us with your questions. Sometimes it is helpful to run things by others to help get perspective, esp when it comes to relationships, which can really be perplexing at times. Before I dive in, if you don't mind my asking, about how old are you currently? Thanks.



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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

Hi Kassandra, Hope your well and I'm gonna see if I can still do this. From sociographic detail in the writing structure and vocab I vote 24 to 33 year old demographic. I'm now looking to see if I need to wiggle my toes while my foots in my mouth.
QuotAquot

Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by QuotAquot »

Hello, thanks for taking an interest. I am 33.
Btw, planewalker, I tried reslonding to your message but something is wrong with the server and it does not allow me to send a message. I sent an email to the administration BT nothing yet. Also I managed to send an email to you, through this site... guess you didn't get that either. ...
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

While it could be there cause like the lazy explitive or tives that I am I haven't checked it in a week. I will remedy that right now. Please excuse my electronic bad.
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

No Joy! Try IBenThair @outlook.com I'll keep checking it on and off.
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by Kassandra »

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QuotAquot wrote:Hello, thanks for taking an interest. I am 33.
OK, thanks. Just wanted to know if you were in your teens or early 20s, and if so I would have suggested giving it more time, having more exposure to more people and experiences, etc. But you're kind of past that stage. You're concerned now because you've noticed a pattern has emerged in your love life, and you want to learn what might possibly be behind that pattern.



Spell Help
QuotAquot wrote:I recently tried some simple love spell...I wonder if it will help.
The way to tell whether or not the simple love spell you tried was successful is, as with any spell, whether or not you receive that for which you petitioned. Did you happen to visit the love spells forum on this site? http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum/forum180.html A lot of interesting points of view discussed in thought-provoking threads there. Some are adamantly opposed to love spells of any sort, citing concerns such as their belief it violates another's free will. Others took the time to describe positive results they obtained with their love spells. And there is everything else in between.

There is also a Spell Critique forum, as well: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum/forum121.html If you'd like, you could post regarding the love (or any other kind of) spell you did or are thinking of doing, and perhaps some will share some constructive criticism (remember, everyone's path here is different, so that will be reflected in whatever advice is given in that and every other forum here). Include whatever materia magica and procedures are involved. Also interesting is what you experience internally before, during and after the casting: any visualizations, bodily sensations, auditory messages, and the like. That kind of "spiritual feedback" is commonly experienced during any ritualistic activity, and can be telling as to the course an associated spell might take. Take note, write them down.


Getting the "And Then Some"

Here's an anecdotal tidbit about this kind of spell casting, or about any kind I guess, any kind of goal-seeking. OK, I cast a love spell before. It was successful, and as with all spiritual endeavors, I did learn a few things during the process. The first thing I learned is, don't cast love spells. Haha, just kidding. They're fine. In my opinion, they're not a big deal, just another genre of spell. I figure the best way for anyone to to learn anything is to walk a path for him-/herself, see where it leads, and decide for him-/herself if that destination is really what he or she desired.

The spell I cast was as simple as it gets: write a list of attributes I desired in a mate; burn the list on a big chunk of rose quartz; visualize the person as the list burns; vibrate the most sincere vibration of gratitude for the universe answering my petition that I could muster. And then, just forget about it, let it happen. I wasn't interested in attracting a particular individual, only in attracting a human embodiment of the attributes on the list. And I didn't view this person as hopefully "completing me," being my "other half," and other such (to me) needy nonsense. I was satisfied with my life. I just was at a point where I felt I had enough room in it to share it with someone else.

About six months months later, I met a man who literally embodied everything in the list. We had a lot in common, similar likes and dislikes, really obscure stuff, it was uncanny. I had even thrown in a little quirk in the list, kind of a private joke between me and the universe, just to ensure it was him. And he had that attribute, as well. The first day we met we talked for 3 hours, non-stop. In months to come, we would be convinced that we both crossed paths in a past life. We worked a community project together, etc., etc. Yet despite all this, I found reasons I didn't want to keep going with this person, so I walked away.

A note-to-self I walked away with was maybe next time I might want to include an exhaustive list of what I don't want, just to be on the safe side, lol. Maybe watch a few love movies and take notes, and then include that on the list of "nots." I know, the Law of Attraction people out there are saying, "Don't put what you don't want on the list, because then you'll attract those things!" I propose a compromise then: yes, be sure to include what you DO want on an attraction spell list. Make that the main focus, visualize getting that, etc. But, I still say, it doesn't hurt to clearly state what you don't want IN ADDITION to what you want, maybe word it in some kind of positive way, I don't know. :wink:

With a love spell, and probably with most spells, yeah you'll get what you want ...and then some. It's that "and then some" part that could, at times, be problematic. It all depends on how you handle it. Once you encounter it, you have to decide whether or not you are willing to take on the responsibilities that come along with it. You have that choice. Just because that guy had a past life with me, and he had all the attributes I listed and requested the Universe to bring me, didn't mean I had to take the whole nine yards that came along with him. The "and then some" with him included sneaky passive-aggressive behavior, a stalkerish obsession with an ex-wife, and an annoyingly spoiled and rude elementary-school-aged son. I just rathered not take all that on.

You are looking for reciprocity in love, as you put it. So, say you do a love spell, and poof, you find a guy who is indeed quite reciprocating of the love you express to him, demonstrative in the way you want him to be, never ceases to let you know how much you are loved (even adored) by him, all that good stuff. Maybe you even pick up a few bonus points: he looks like what you're attracted to, has the education level/income level you want, whatever. Chances are, because he like you is an imperfect human being, despite embodying what you want the universe to send you, he's going to come short of your ideal man and the situation with him is going to come short of your ideal situation, in some way or another. Don't think witchcraft is going to get you out of that. Everyone has some baggage. Would you be willing to help him carry his?



OK, that's all I can type for now. The internet is off at my house right now, so I came by a library to type this (too difficult on my phone). Upcoming topics on this subject will be:

When the "And Then Some" is You

Other Possible Perspectives

Clarity Spell and Follow-up?



Take care.

--K




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QuotAquot

Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by QuotAquot »

Hello Kassandra,
thank you for the long reply and the advises. Funny you mentioned the "don't want"s :) I actually did include that too. So far my life has been going relatively steadily. ONly changes have been of business nature. I wonder how that will turn out. Maybe a new job and all.

I did check out the forums about spells here, and spells themselves before doing something.
I get the controversy about spells. But I don't think it is wrong to use them to help my or maybe someone else's life. Everybody uses what he/she has. If I can use spells so be it. How is the ordinary seduction different then? Don't we persuade people a little bit every day into getting what we want? I cross the line at bad intentions. If there is no such thing I don't see it as a dangerous thing.

Thanks for taking the time. I wonder what other possible perspectives you can see.

Take care

Q
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Re: Reciprocity in love

Post by planewalker »

Depending on the spell, it can be like putting on event proper cloths. You don't go to a formal affair in a sweat suit,nor would you run in a tuxedo {unless it's a mugging}. We all try to look and be at our best in public. Magic can be a contributor to that end. It's not being used on someone else. You've used it on yourself and before people say it's faking people out so it's a lie. What about make-up, a close shave and hair just so. Magic is part of you. Everybody is seeing the real you.
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