I'm broken now

[kalicokitty]

I've never felt so forsaken, so actively hated by a divine before.

[Tutmosis]

What's happened?

[SnowCat]

Um, yeah. What tutmosis said.

[moonraingirl]

Feel free to tell us more, kalicokitty.

[kalicokitty]

3 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend of 5 years was trying to cheat on me with a transvestite named Jasmine. Two days later, my purse was stolen from my car....with $200 cash inside. Plus ya know. Everything else that goes in a purse. A few days later boyfriend tried to cheer me up with sex. He hurt me. That was painful for several days. I bled for an hour, threw up, and almost passed out. The next day I got a call that if I didnt pay my power bill on monday my power would be shut off.

Saturday I got so sick I thought I might die. Monday boyfriend gave me some money to pay my power bill. I found out my phone was out minutes. I had to go to town anyways to pick up my check. I was at work for an hour waiting on it. Then my boss yelled at me because someone scheduled her a 930 appt when her appts always start at 10. Then I went to the bank--I'm still sick btw--oh yeah, my purse was stolen. I need to open a new account. Then I have to go tell my insurance company I got a new account. Now I have to find a place that will let me call the power company because it's an hour drive and even if I had the gas I could not do it. The library allows me to use their phone. Surprise! I locked my keys in my car! Takes my stepdad all day to get out and jimmy it for me (he was at work).

Fast forward to last weekend. Boyfriend again tries to cheer me up. He takes me out friday and saturday and helps me clean on sunday. On monday I am told he may have been stealing money from my blind war vet grampa. That's how he paid for last weekend....fast forward to the day before yesterday. I'm talking on the phone to my friend about it. Purposely away from him because I'm not sure I can stay with him with these accusations in my face. He overhears me. Well instead of being mentally prepared....he solidifies it right there. He tells me hes hurt because I've been acting like everything is fine when it wasn't. He's hurt because he's been trying to work on himself to become a better man for me. He just got a new job. I tell him we arent good to each other. I've been cutting myself and hes almost always been the cause. He asks me for 6 months to get his car fixed and get the gas money to drive to nevada where his parents live. I don't agree but I don't disagree.

I DO text my friend and tell her what's going on. A few minutes later, a different friend shows up asking if I'll come with her. It's important. I didnt even say goodbye to him....I find out that friend #1 had friend #2 come get me so her (friend #1) boyfriend and his friend could come here and make my....now ex boyfriend leave. He doesnt have a working phone. I didn't even get to say goodbye....I know he wasn't the best person morally. I know we weren't the best couple. But I love him. Still. Through my hurt. Through the feeling of betrayal. Through it all. I feel completely forsaken. I agonize and try to make the best decision and it has blown up in my face every time. I am a relatively good person. I don't lie (mostly), I dont cheat, I dont steal. I go out of my way to help people and animals if I can. And all I've received in this life is pain and heartache and regret at every turn.

[kalicokitty]

Our five year anniversary is in two weeks...I was going to take him out bowling and to dinner....

[YanaKhan]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, kalicokitty. I know it's hard, but sometimes it's better to be on your own, than with the wrong person. Once the the relationship starts to make you miserable, rather than happy, it's better to leave.

You need to figure out if you really are in love with this person or you are used to having him around. And yes, I know these are all cliches, but trust me, time does heal and in order to get better, sometimes you need to start over.

On the bright side - you have amazing friends and support system and they will help you get through the hard times in life.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone, you can always pm me. Take care and stay strong.

[SnowCat]

You have described a very toxic and dangerous situation. If money was being stolen by him, from your grandfather, that's not only theft, it's elder abuse. Getting out of the situation might feel like the worst option, but you need some distance and some perspective. Change can be stressful, but in this case, change might save your life.

Snow

[moonraingirl]

I believe your situation is very painful at the moment. But I agree with what Yana and Snow told you. This really wasn't the right man for you. I bet it must have been really bad when your friends took an initiative like this. They wouldn't do it if they were not afraid for your safety. They are your treasure and you may be grateful for them.
Allow time to help you see this from the distance and more critically. You'll be relieved and find a partner who deserves you.

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

He doesn't sound that good even though feelings may be there. I hope it works out but I wouldn't go back to such a toxic relationship.

[Hagerman420]

I agree with Lady_Lilith, very toxic relationship, I too hope all works out for you.



Have a Pleasant Day
Be Happy Stay Happy

[milano]

This guy was not right for you. I am not even sure he is right for anyone! It sounds like, he was taking you for granted and only "decided to change" when he realised he might lose you. The best thing you can do now is to look after yourself. It sounds like you have amazing friends (that's really lucky, my best friend "dumped me" at the beginning of the year because of a guy, and I am now all alone ).
So let your friends and family be there for you and try to enjoy life.